#so. a little sad. but i’d much rather he be inside somewhere nice than. living under the fucking shed at work

[planetary]

OKAY REALLY GOOD NEWS but also im sad about it BUT sneaker is getting a chance at the adoption program!!!

[luimagines]

He Asks You to Dance Part 3

Masterlist

Part 1 Part 2

Part 3 will include Wild, Wind and Legend.

Content under the cut!

Wild

Wild didn’t even know Terry Town was planning a festival.

But here he was, with all his new friends, celebrating with old, the one year anniversary of the inauguration of Terry Town. 

Wild had to be quick on his feet for what felt like the whole day.

Between preparing for the celebration, getting all the requests filled and making sure the group weren’t left to their own devices for too long, Wild felt like he didn’t have a lot of room to breath. Let alone take a break.

But that fine.

The group eventually pitched in and the whole thing managed to run smoothly without any problems.

By the time the sun was gone and the large bonfire was lit, Wild finally let himself sit down and enjoy the atmosphere.

He watched, content and satisfied that everyone seemed to be having a good time. 

Legend and Wind were haggling the musicians in the best way possible. Time, Twilight and Warrior happened to open up the booze and were drinking away with some other men of the town. Four and Sky seemed to be happy enough eating what they had prepared on the sidelines while Hyrule, he knew, was actually up by Mija and her fairy fountain.

He wasn’t a fan of crowds and wanted to talk shop and magic with the fairies.

Wild couldn’t blame him.

Wild took a deep breath and leaned against the bench, closing his eyes momentarily with a smile on his face.

Until he sensed movement next to him.

He opened his eyes again and looked over.

You sat next to him, a quiet and subdued air around you. You smiled at him and if he didn’t know any better he would assume it was genuine.

He’s instantly on edge.

“Tired Wild Child?” You ask. “You were running around like a cucco without their head all morning and afternoon, I thought the place was going to run you ragged.”

Wild snorts unexpectantly and he sits straighter. “A little. But nothing I can’t handle.”

“I’m just glad you’re actually taking a break.” You sighed and lean back. “This is nice. You did a good job.”

Wild preens a little at your words and he feels like he’s floating. “Go enjoy it then! You don’t have to spend the night moping next to me. I’ll hop in, in a minute. I just wanted to catch my breath.”

You hum and look away. “That eager to get rid of me, huh?”

Wild almost shoots off of the bench at your words and backpedals at the speed of light. “No, that’s not it at all! I was just-”

“Relax Link.” You smile that lie again. “I’m just messing with you.”

Wild frowns and looks over his shoulder to where Legend and Wind have more or less taken over to music and have begin to play something soft but lively, enough to get the people dancing and spinning around.

Wild gets an idea.

“Dance with me.” He stands and holds his hand out.

“What happened to catching your breath?”

“Caught it.”

You snort and look over. You’re sad, and he doesn’t know why. But what he does know, is that he doesn’t want you to lie anymore.

“Really?”

“Yes, really. Dance with me.”

You consider it- longer than Wild would have thought to and finally, place your hands in his.

He’s stunned by how soft it is and how you fit into his hand perfectly, like a missing puzzle piece and he grips is gently, tugging you forward. “Just one.”

“Ok.” You looked down and step with him. “I can do that.”

You look back up and Wild’s breath gets caught in his throat. The light of the colored lanterns all around the two or you give you a pleasantly soft and sweet look to your face and your hair and Wild forgets that there’s more than you two at the moment.

He swallows and takes the leads.

And your smile.... well....

He can tell it’s not a lie anymore.

Wind

Wind had no idea what his grandma was expecting him to do with so little time to prepare for the High Tide Festival but Wind was never one to back down from a challenge.

The others were quickly put to work in helping in decorating the place and getting all the food together to feed to whole island and the visitors of Wind’s friend group. 

Wind didn’t actually want to help at all- he had promised to show you all around his home and he was stuck doing everything but that.

He doesn’t even know where you are right now but he wants to be by your side.

Not stuck by the stuffy adults and.... stringing up streamers.

He would normally be more excited for it, but not having you in his line of sight was putting a bit of a damper on his current mood.

He had promised...

“I got this Wind.” Twilight comes up from behind to take the box from his hands. “I think they miss you.”

There’s a bit of  teasing remark on Twilight’s breath, Wind can feel it but he looks over to where he gestures and see you there with your arms crossed and looking to the middle of the courtyard...

You look lost.

Wind feels himself still in that minute and he doesn’t think he actually had it in him to approach you.

Twilight snorts and pushes him forward slightly.

“They don’t bite.“ He says. “You wanted to spend time with them anyway right? Why the sudden cold feet?”

Wind gulps and tries to think of a smart answer. “Uhhh...”

Twilight claps him on his shoulder and walks away. “They were wondering where you were by the way.”

Wind bite his lip.

He did promise...

His first few steps are hesitant and unsure, and even when he finally makes his way next to you, you don’t seem to know he’s there.

“Hey.” Wind smiles ad takes your hand.

You startle and the small smile that graces your face does something funny to his chest. “Wind!”

There’s some music that begins behind you two, the musicians of the island begin to try and find the right mood they want to setting sun to have.

Wind grins and grips your hand tighter, pulling up gently in the direction. “Will you dance with me?”

You blink and smile wider. “Sure Wind.”

Wind feels himself grin and neither of you actually know how to dance but you’re laughing and he spins you around. 

Wind likes this.

Wind thinks this is nice.

Your laugh is nice.

Your smile is nice.

You’re nice.

Legend

Legend wasn’t really comfortable with the current chain of events.

He knew that every one was supposed to have a good time and relax and eat until they felt like they could burst... but he didn’t feel the desire to join them in this time of merriment.

Call him a barnacle if you wish but he would really be in bed and inside. But this was his Hyrule and he had to keep appearances for the group because they wanted to be out here in the festivities.

He wasn’t going to rain on their parade just because he wasn’t in the mood to be there.

He walked around, letting the time pass and watching all the other around him have fun and dance and sing- he would enjoy the party vicariously through them.

It was enough.

Until he saw you.

Briefly anyway.

You took off before he could really see what was happening but something in his gut told him that something was wrong. And he knows better than to ignore his gut at this point in his life.

He follows you and slows when he sees you rubs your eyes and pinch your nose and show all the signs of trying to stop a sob before it actually takes over.

“Hey.” The sounds leaves his mouth before he can even think twice.

You startle and harshly wipe the evidence away from your face.

“Are you ok?” Legend gulps slightly.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” You say. Like a liar. “I just got emotional. This is nice. Your home really knows how to throw a party.”

“Yeah.” He agree on his breath. “Are you-... What’s wrong?”

You sniffle and blink owlishly at him.

“I...” You start and sigh, wiping your hand on your tunic. “I can’t hide anything from you, can I? I’m fine really. I’m just a bit homesick, is all.”

“Homesick?” He walks toward you.

“Yeah. Around this time, back home, we’d have a festival just like this.” You say with a blissful look on your face. “It has everything. Food, music, games, shows and good company too. It... it didn’t really register that I’d miss it this year until a moment ago. I won’t be with my family for the first time and I just... got emotional. I’ll be fine. Really. Go have fun. You deserve it.”

Legend stands there, stunned before his ears pick up the subtle tune of a slow song in the background.

He looks behind him and then back to you.

You look too good to look sad right now, and it’s not like Legend is going to rain on the parade just because he would rather be somewhere else.

He holds his hand out and tilts his head. “Come on. Dance with me. You’re too beautiful to hide yourself away.”

“Link.” You sigh.

“It won’t be as much fun without you.” He says in a final attempt to get you go with him.

You look at his hand and smile, letting him pull you toward him and sway left to right with the music. “Alright. You win.”

For a moment, when he spins you around and begins to lead a more cohesive dance with you in his arms, Legend actually thinks that there’s no other place he’d like to be.

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers VANDEAD CARNIVAL ;; Present from Mukami [PART 1]

ー The scene starts in Yui’s bedroom

Yui: Today’s Christmas Eve, huh...?

( When I was still living with Father, we were always extremely busy during this time of year with preparations for the Christmas Mass. )

( We would decorate the church for the Mass...or make tons of sweets to hand out to the children as gifts... )

( Somehow that feels like part of a distant past now... )

Haah...

ー Kou enters the room

Kou: Heya~! M-neko-chan~!

Yui: ...Kou-kun?

Kou: No need to act so surprised, right? What’s wrong? You seem kind of down?

Yui: Um, could you please knock on the door before entering? I’d really appreciate it...

Kou: Eh~~? Why bother going through the extra trouble?

Besides, I live here, remember? My house, my rules, no?

Yui: H-Hm...That might be the case, but...

( I have a feeling he won’t understand... )

So, why are you here? Is there anything you need from me...?

Kou: Hm~~? I only came to hang out because I was bored~

Yui: I see. Are you off from work today?

Kou: Exactly! Today’s my first free day in a long time!

Anyway, more importantly, M-neko-chan. You were talking about how it’s Christmas Eve today earlier...Right?

Yui: Yeah...I had a bit of an ‘oh, right!’ moment.

Kou: ‘Oh, right’...? You’re talking as if you only just noticed.

Yui: Yeah...But I really did recall only now. It totally slipped my mind...

Kou: To think you’d forget about such an important event! Is everything okay, M-neko-chan?

Yui: I mean, you guys don’t celebrate Christmas, do you?

Kou: Hmー Well, we’re Vampires after all. We obviously don’t feel like celebrating it, nor are we interested.

Yui: ...Figured as much. There aren’t any Christmas decorations inside the house either...

Besides, I haven’t gone out much as of late either...

Kou: Now that you mention it, you’ve just been going back and forth between here and school without making any additional stops, huh?

If you were to head out, you’d discover that the whole city is in a Christmas mood. 

There really is no way to look past it, whether you like it or not...

Yui: Yeah, but I haven’t gotten a chance to go look...So I completely forgot...

Kou: Hmー...

Ah, say, M-neko-chan? How have you spent your Christmas Eve in the past?

Yui: Eh...?

Kou: I mean, I don’t know how normal families celebrate the holidays.

Yui: Hm...Right. My personal experience might be a little different from the standard though.

Kou: Heeh? In what way?

Yui: You know that my Father works as a Priest, right?

Kou: Ahー I feel like I heard that somewhere before.

Yui: We hold a Mass at church on Christmas day, so we have to prepare for that the night before.

Kou: Prepare? Like the Christmas lights they put up in town?

Yui: Yeah. Ours weren’t quite as elaborate, of course.

On the day of the Mass, the visitors light a candle, take a seat and pray...

Then afterwards we read passages from the Bible.

At the very end, someone will play the orgle and everyone sings together.

It creates such a lovely medley of singing voices...I loved that part.

Kou: Hmm, I see...But is that actually fun?

Yui: Yeah, it is. It is an important day to me after all.

( It’s a day full of memories of the time I spent with Father as well, after all... )

Kou: Hmー So that’s how it is. I mean, I don’t really understand but...Oh, I know!

The other day, this one person at work told me that Christmas Eve is a special day you should spend with your lover. (1)

Have you ever spent Christmas Eve with a special someone before?

Yui: No...I was always helping out for the Mass at Church after all...

Kou: I see...

ー Ruki enters the room

Ruki: The two of you are making a ruckus. At least close the door when you’re talking.

Yui: Ah, Ruki-kun...Yuma-kun and Azusa-kun as well. What’s the matter?

Yuma: We just happened to run into each other in the hallway. Ya guys were talkin’ hella loud.

Yui: S-Sorry...

Azusa: Eve and Kou...The two of you seemed to be having a fun chat.

Kou: Really? It wasn’t anything special though.

Ruki: Anyway, Kou, come with me. Livestock, you stay in your room.

Yui: S-Sure...

Kou: Eh~~...? Oh well, whatever. I got to learn something new at least.

See you later, M-neko-chan~!

ー The four of them leave

Yui: They left...

( Somehow it suddenly got quiet. )

( ...Honestly, I wouldn’t have minded talking for a little longer... )

ー The scene shifts to the living room

Kou: ...Say, say, Ruki-kun. Why don’t the four of us throw a Christmas party?

Ruki: Haah...I was wondering what you would bring up all of a sudden.

Kou: I mean, M-neko-chan seemed kind of sad, you see~

She was raised at a Church, right?

So it seems like Christmas and such brings back a lot of memories for her.

Yuma: So that’s what the two of ya were talkin’ ‘bout earlier, huh?

Azusa: ...Say, what is...Christmas?

Kou: Ah, are you interested, Azusa-kun?

Christmas itself is on the 25th of December and the day before that is called ‘Christmas Eve’.

It’s the day on which they celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ~

Azusa: Heeh, then...Today is the 24th so it’s...Christmas Eve...right?

Kou: Exactlyー! So I was thinking we could hold a little celebration?

Ruki: Azusa, did you not celebrate Christmas back when you were still human?

Azusa: ...We did not have that kind of celebration...

Ruki: How about you, Yuma?

Yuma: Hmー... Now that ya mention it, I do feel as if the city was a lil’ more lively ‘round this time of year...I think...?

I might have celebrated it back when I was a child, but I forgot.

Kou: I’m pretty sure my answer should be obvious but...Ah, you must have celebrated it, right, Ruki-kun?

Ruki: Well, yes.

Kou: Makes sense. You are a rich boy after all~

Azusa: Say, Ruki? How exactly do you celebrate it...?

Ruki: You decorate the inside of the house, say your prayers to God and enjoy a meal with the whole family.

There’s special foods and snacks which are only enjoyed on that particular day of year...

Also, you would exchange presents...I suppose that about sums it up.

Azusa: ...Exchanging presents...I honestly don’t care about the exchanging part. I’d much rather just be on the receiving end of all the punches...

Kou: Ahaha...Putting your wishes aside for a second...

Don’t you want to try and hold a Christmas party?

We’ve never really done something like that with the whole family, right? Come on, why not?

Ruki: Family, huh...?

Yuma: That bein’ said, Vampires celebratin’ the birth of Christ is kinda fucked up, no?

Kou: Should we not? Do you think he’ll be upset with us?

Ruki: ...Well, while I doubt he will be thrilled about it, that man has connections to the Church of his own, so he might understand in a sense.

I doubt he will condemn us if we hold a small celebration at home.

Kou: Right~? In that case, let’s get this party rolling~!

Ruki: Yuma, Azusa. What do you two think?

Yuma: ...Ahー...

Azusa: ...

Yuma: Oi, Kou. The Sow’s havin’ a rough time, right?

Kou: Yeah, she is.

Azusa: I...personally don’t care much about the party itself but...I don’t want...Eve to be sad...

Yuma: Nnー Well, it’s not really for her sake, but I don’t see any harm in doin’ this sorta stuff for once?

Ruki: ...

Kou: Fufu~ In that case, we just need permission from Ruki-kun...~!

Ruki: Haah...You’ll all be helping out, including during the clean-up, understood?

Yuma: Oh! Which means...

Ruki: Exactly...I suppose it will make for a nice change of pace.

We haven’t really spent much time together as a family up until now after all.

Furthermore, pleasing Livestock is part of our duty as her masters.

Kou: Hooray~~!!

In that case, we need to get started with all of the preparations!

Azusa: ...

Ruki: Oi, Azusa. Where are you going?

Azusa: I figured I’d go...tell Eve that we’ve decided to hold a party...

Kou: Eh!? You’re going to tell her?

Yuma: Aah? Should we not?

Kou: Hmー Don’t you think this is a perfect chance to make it a surprise?

Yuma: Surprise...? The fuck’s that?

Ruki: It means to catch them by surprise. In other words, you keep it a secret until the very second they arrive at the party...

Kou: I’m sure she’ll be ten times happier than if she already knew about the party beforehand!

I’m an idol, remember?

So I’ve had people throw a surprise birthday party for me before. 

I felt so happy back then!

Yuma: Hm. Is that how it works? Well, fine by me.

Ruki: Azusa, you’ve heard us. You don’t need to go inform her.

Azusa: Mmh. Understood...

Kou: Hmー Holding a Christmas party is fine and all but...

Yuma: The problem’s how to prepare for it. We need to decorate the place, but I have no fuckin’ clue which decorations to pick.

Azusa: I wonder what kind of...dishes we should serve...?

Kou: Let’s leave that part to Ruki-kun.

Ruki: Right. Just leave the cooking up to me. Which leaves...

ー The scene shifts to Yui’s bedroom

Yui: ( Hm...It’s a little chilly in here... )

( I’m pretty sure quite some time has passed since the others left as well. I wonder what they’re up to...? )

( Right. I suppose I’ll check up on them while I go grab myself a hot beverage. )

ー The scene shifts to the hallway

Yui: ...

Kou: Let’s leave that part to Ruki-kun.

Ruki: Right. Just leave the cooking up to me. Which leaves...

Yui: ( Ah...Kou-kun and Ruki-kun’s voices... )

( I wonder what they’re talking about...? )

Excuse meーー

ー The scene shifts to the living room

Ruki: ...Oh...

Kou: Eh? M-neko-chan!?

Yuma: ...Ya sure have the worst timin’, huh...?

Yui: Eh!? I’m sorry. Should I not have come in...?

Azusa: No, it’s fine...We were just talking about throwing you a surprise Christmas party

Yui: Eh...?

Kou: Waiーー!! Azusa-kun! What are you saying!?

Azusa: I mean...It’s not like we can still cover it up at this point. If we try and hide it...We’ll only end up making her uncomfortable. ...Right?

Ruki: Yes, Azusa, you are absolutely right. We could have always sent her back to her room, but I’m sure she would have been worried about us secretly scheming something behind her back.

If we upset her, we’re basically rendering our intentions null.

Yuma: Haah, I mean, that’s true but...We could have at least tried to keep it a secret...

Kou: Haah...Guess there’s no point now...

ーー And with that being said, we shall now commence with the preparations of the Mukami family’s very own Christmas party~!

Yui: Eh...!? We’re holding a Christmas party together!?

Yuma: That’s what we said earlier, remember? Are yer ears still workin’?

Yui: No, they are but...I’m just shocked...

I’m just wondering if it’s okay for you all to celebrate Christmas even though you’re Vampires?

Ruki: You don’t need to worry about that.

Kou: Exactly! Don’t fret over the small details~!

Are you not happy? You get to celebrate with us!

Yui: Of course I am...! I’m just surprised, that’s all.

Kou: I don’t think there’s any time to be surprised though? We have to hurry up and  prepare or Christmas will be here before we know it!

Yui: Ah, right!

Kou: Okayー! Let’s get started with these preparations right away!

Azusa: Eve...We’ve never held a proper party before...Can you tell us what we should do...?

Kou: First off, it’d be a great help if you could give us some pointers on how to decorate the house.

Yui: Well, we have to make actual decorations first...

Ruki: I assume it would be much quicker to just head to the store rather than explaining it here first.

Yuma: Good point. I doubt I’ll understand from some explanation alone.

Azusa: ...Yeah...

Ruki: There you have it. We are heading out at once.

Yui: Sure!

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to the department store

Yui: ( I never thought I’d one day go shopping with all of the guys like this... )

( That alone counts as a Christmas miracle. )

Yuma: Whatcha been grinnin’ ‘bout this whole time?

Yui: Ah, right. I’m just so happy we’re all able to go shopping like this...

Yuma: Heh, you’re gonna find yerself lost ‘gain if ya keep yer head in the clouds like that. Wouldn’t be the first time after all.

Yui: I...I’ll be careful.

Kou: Fufufu, so you’re aware of it at least.

Yui: Y-Yeah...

( It’s not that I actually walk away by myself though... )

Ruki: The food’s next on the list, huh? Oi, is there anything in particular you’d like to eat?

Azusa: ...I’d like something doused in plenty of red chili powder...

Ruki: ...Azusa, let’s try and stick to Christmas food this time.

Azusa: ...Fine...

But what exactly is ‘Christmas food’...?

Ruki: Hm...

Yuma: ...We don’t know if our personal preferences fit the holiday spirit after all.

So shouldn’t we just leave that choice up to the Sow?

Kou: Exactly. That’s why we called her over, so the two of you should talk it over and make a quick decision.

Ruki: ...I suppose it cannot be helped. That seems like the most time-efficient solution. 

Livestock, what did your family eat for Christmas?

Yui: Let’s see...I suppose Turkey or Roast Beef are both staples on any Christmas dinner table!

Ruki: You’re only naming meat...

Yui: Of course, we eat salad as well? Mixing in vegetables cut into cute shapes and such...

Yuma: The fuck does that mean? All veggies are the same, right?

Yui: You can use cutters to shape them like hearts or stars. I guess you’ll get an idea if we go to the deli counter...?

Yuma: Ready-made dishes?

Yui: Ah, I didn’t mean we have to buy anything, but I figured we could gather some inspiration.

Yuma: Geez, I thought ya were gonna take the easy way out. It’s a party after all.

So we’re obviously gonna make everythin’ at home from scratch, right?

Yui: Yeah! Of course.

Ruki: I suppose it’ll give us an idea of what we can make. Well then, let’s go buy the ingredients first.

*TIMESKIP*

Yui: I’m glad we got our hands on some delicious-looking meat!

Ruki: Yes. I’m looking forward to preparing it.

Yui: ( I managed to buy everything I need for the cake as well, so I’ll try my best at making it! )

( I hope they’ll like it... )

Kou: Say, let’s go pick out a tree next! The biggest one they have!

Yuma: Geez, are ya a lil’ kid or somethin’?

Yui: Fufu, you’re interested in decorating it, right?

Kou: I mean, it’s all sparkly and pretty, right? Just like me, no?

Azusa: Let’s buy lots of star-shaped decorations...

Kou: Come on, Azusa-kun. Don’t ignore me.

Azusa: Eh...? Ah, yeah...Sorry...

Yui: Do you like stars, Azusa-kun?

Azusa: Yeah...They’ve got these sharp and pointy ends...So I’m sure they���d hurt a lot...

Yui: S-So that’s why...

Ruki: Azusa, you better not think of tainting those stars with your blood.

Kou: Exactly! Today’s Christmas after all, a day you are meant to enjoy with your family!

Well then~ Which one to buy?

ー Kou runs off

Ruki: Oi, Kou. Don’t run off by yourself. 

I won’t allow for any extra purchases. We’ll only buy the necessities.

Kou: Eeeeeh~? Whaaat~? You cheapskate!

Ruki: I don’t mind being a cheapskate. This is important money we’ve received from that man.

I can’t be wasteful with it.

Kou: Well, I get where you’re coming from but...

Yui: ( Everyone seems to be having fun. )

( Like this, it almost seems like we’ve become an actual family... )

*TIMESKIP*

Yui: Phew, we bought more than I anticipated.

Yuma: That’s ‘cause Kou kept on wantin’ to buy all this shit, right?

Kou: Eeh~? You’re blaming me? Fufu, I won’t deny it. However, we didn’t buy anything we didn’t need, right?

Yuma: I mean, we didn’t, I guess...

Ruki: Let’s go over everything one more time. Is this pretty much everything we need for the tree and decorations...?

Yui: Yeah! We’re all set!

Yuma: We’ve got the vegetables I grew at home as well, so this should do.

Kou: Aah~ We’re actually celebrating Christmas. I can’t wait!

Ruki: Kou, you’re being way too excited. Mind your manners.

Kou: Oh come on, let me be! I never got to experience this as a child after all!

Yuma: Well then, we’re gonna be busy once we get home~!

Yui: Speaking of which...Where did Azusa-kun...? Ah, there he is!

( I wonder why he’s just standing there? )

Azusa: Say, Ruki...

Ruki: ...? What’s the matter?

Azusa: I want this knife...

Yui: K-Knife...?

( Why is he holding a knife...? )

Kou: Hold up, Azusa-kun, where did you get that?

Azusa: ...Why not? I want this to give me pain... 

Yui: A-Azusa-kun! What are you saying...!?

Ruki: Azusa, go return it to the store.

Azusa: Please? ...The shape of this blade is so pretty, and it looks very sharp as well...

Ruki: No means no. Azusa, you have to put it back where you found it.

Azusa: No way....But I want it so badly...I can’t give up on it...

Yui: Azusa-kun...

Azusa: ...Come on, I want it, no matter what...

Kou: Azusa-kun! You don’t need a knife on a fun day like this!

Azusa: No...This is special...

Yui: ( What to do? Azusa-kun’s not giving in at all. )

Yuma: Oi, at this rate we’ll never make it back home.

Azusa: Then...Can we buy it?

Yuma: Just listen to Ruki for today. Ya can buy that crap whenever, right?

Azusa: ...

Yuma: God, listen up...

Ruki: Azusa.

Yui: ( O-Oh no...Ruki-kun started getting angry as well. )

U-Um, Azusa-kun...

Yuma: Ya stay out of this.

Yui: B-But...

Yuma: Geez, guess it can’t be helped. I’ll go bring it back with him.

Ruki: My bad, Yuma.

Yuma: Yeah. ...Come on, Azusa, let’s go.

Azusa: ...No.

*Rustle*

Yui: Ah! Yuma-kun! If you grab him by his collar like that, you’ll hurt him....

Azusa: Ah...It hurts...I can barely breathe...Haah...Amazing...Uu...

Yui: ( A-Azusa-kun is...happy? )

Ruki: Azusa, don’t cause Yuma too much trouble, okay?

Azusa: Yeah...

Yuma: Che! Ya say that but you’re already bein’ a pain in the ass! Come on, walk by yerself already!

Azusa: Nn, but...It’s suffocating...

Yuma: That’ll fix itself if ya just use yer own damn legs, no?

Azusa: It’d rather stay like this a little longer.

Yui: ( He’ll be okay, right? Yuma-kun’s with him after all... )

ー Yuma walks away with Azusa

Ruki: Let’s go. We’ll head back first and get everything ready.

ー Ruki starts walking away

Yui: Eh? Don’t we need to wait for them?

Kou: Yuma-kun may be with him, but knowing Azusa-kun...

Yui: ...?

Kou: Azusa-kun has a hard time letting go of things once they pique his interest.

Yui: I see...

( It might take a while until they get back... )

I hope it won’t turn into a fight.

Kou: Hmー I guess that’ll depend on Azusa-kun’s behavior?

Ruki: What are you two doing? Let’s go.

Kou: Roger~!

Yui: ( Yuma-kun’s actually quite good at looking after others, so we can leave this up to him, right...? )

*TIMESKIP*

 ー The scene shifts to the living room

Kou: Phew~ These were so heavyー

Ruki: Good grief, I’m exhausted...

Yui: ( We’ve got quite a lot of bags... )

Ruki: Well then, we’ve got no time to lose. Let’s start preparing.

If we procrastinate for too long, we’ll only waste time.

I’m heading towards the kitchen to get started on the food.

Kou: Gotcha~!

Guess I’ll get started with the decorations then.

Ruki: We’re counting on you.

Kou: Roger!

Yui: Ruki-kun, I’ll help out as well!

Ruki: Yeah, that would be great.

Kou: I’m looking forward to seeing what you’ll make for us!

Yui: Mmh! I’ll try my best to make something delicious, okay?

*THUD*

Yuma: Honestly, I went through fuckin’ hell and back!

I’m never cleanin’ up Azusa’s mess again!

Yui: S-Sounds like they’re back. He seems really upset though. I wonder what happened...?

Ruki: I assume Azusa threw one of his stubborn tantrums. Oi, Livestock.

Yui: Y-Yes!

Ruki: Go pass on this message to them. Please tell them they should get started with their own tasks.

Yui: Yeah, sure. I’ll go tell them.

ー The scene shifts to the hallway

Yui: Welcome back, you two.

Azusa: If I don’t get that knife, I’ll...I’ll...

Yuma: Aah, let it go already! What’s so damn nice ‘bout that knife anyway!?

Azusa: ...

Yui: ( Seems like they don’t even realize I’m here. )

( That being said, if I leave them be, they’ll run late with their preparations. )

Um, you guys! Welcome back!

Azusa: ...Wah...You startled me.

Yuma: Aah? The fuck, Sow? You’ve been standin’ there this whole time? 

Yui: Yeah...Um, Ruki-kun has already started preparing everything, so he’d like the two of you to help out as well. 

Azusa: But, the knifeーー

Yuma: Ya really don’t know when to give up, huh? We’re done talkin’ ‘bout that!

Azusa: ...You blockhead.

Yuma: Speak for yerself!!

Yui: ( O-Oh no... )

( I can’t leave things like this. I have to stop them somehow... )

U-Um!!

Azusa-kun, Kou-kun has started on the decorations, so can I rely on you to help him with that?

Azusa: ...

Yui: Both me and Yuma-kun understand very well just how badly you want that knife...

But we have to get on with the Christmas preparations now, so I’d really appreciate it if you could help out...

Azusa: ...What about you?

Yui: Eh?

Azusa: What will you do?

Yui: I’m going to make the Christmas cake.

Azusa: ...Okay. I want to try your cake, so I’ll forget about the knife...For a while, at least...

Yuma: ‘For a while’, my ass! Forget ‘bout that thing forever!

Yui: Shh, calm down, Yuma-kun.

Azusa: I’ll go help Kou then.

Yui: Yeah, good luck.

ー Azusa walks away

Yuma: Heh. You’re really startin’ to get the hang of how to handle that guy, huh?

Yui: Y-You think so...?

Yuma: Well, whatever. Anyway, Ruki’s already in the kitchen, ya said?

Yui: Yeah, I think he’s getting everything ready to start cooking.

Yuma: I’ll go get some veggies from the garden then.

Yui: Ah, Yuma-kun! Could you maybe let me have some fruit to use for the cake?

Yuma: Roger. I’ll make sure to grab a few, so ya get yer ass over to the kitchen ‘kay?

Yui: Yeah, thanks!

ー Yuma walks away as well

Yui: Well then...

( I’ll try my best to bake the best cake ever as well! )

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) While the holidays are often associated with family in the West, Christmas and especially Christmas Eve are strongly linked to couples in Japan. 

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[ Part 2 ] →

[tiredb0igivemesugars]

The struggles that come with being a Stark

Summary: Y/n has been very down lately and feels completely alone even if the tower is buzzing with Avengers every day. On one particular morning y/n is forced to come out of his room and he heads down to his father’s lab, y/n feels very ignored and storms out crying. Peter goes after y/n and gets him to open up. Can something deemed “broken” be fixed?

Words: 2.4k

⚠️Warnings:⚠️ Mentions of depression and suicidal thoughts, some light swear words

Pairing: Tony Stark!dad and reader!son

Note: the timeline is all funky to my understanding but please just roll with it... again

It had been good for a while, really good, but in the back of your mind, you knew it was only a matter of time until things got bad again.

And eventually, they did. Like always

It started with the little things. When you didn’t have the energy to put the freshly washed clothes you thought nothing of it. It started with feeling the need to sleep all the time, you tried to blame it on stress, not wanting to admit how bad things truly were.

Getting up in the morning was harder, showering was suddenly too time-consuming. Before you had the time to realise what was truly going on, you were laying in your own filth. Surrounded by stuff you couldn’t remember ever bringing into your room, the blinds were closed. Sometimes you opened the one closest to your bed, it was nice to watch the outside world from time to time. You saw how your friends ran and played outside, ever since Peter joined the Avengers it was like they just got more and more childish, but it was nice. All of the Avengers had rough lives and seeing them so happy made you feel a sense of relief. This was all Peter’s doing, he was keeping the atmosphere good, it didn’t necessarily matter if you weren’t there, they’d be fine.

That’s what you told yourself, ending it all wasn’t something you necessarily thought about, but it was a game in your head. A fantasy really, a game you noticed yourself playing more often than not. The game kept you busy, sometimes for an entire day.

  But there were days when the game wasn’t as fun, on those days you went outside of your room, you tried to do it so that no one would see you, sometimes you’d run into Steve or even to your dad, but not often. Your dad, Tony, made jokes of how you had ”emerged from your cave” and if you were too unfortunate enough to walk out of your room when a lot of them were in the kitchen or in the living room, you’d get an ”oh how nice of you to join us”. You knew that he didn’t do that to hurt you, but it ended up doing exactly that. His words stung, they haunted you even when you were alone, like an echo in your head.

You woke up when the sun hit your eyes, you had forgotten to close the blinds, again. ”Jarvis, close the blinds,” you said, voice groggy. No answer. ”Jarvis?” You asked again, receiving no answer. You groaned as you realised that you had to go down to your dad’s workshop, to tell your dad that Jarvis wasn’t working in your room. You sat up on your bed, feeling hazy. You slowly stood up to walk towards the elevator.

Your dad was working with Peter in his workshop. ”Dad?” You called out from the door, no answer. ”Dad?” You tried again, louder this time. Peter noticed you as you stood by the door. ”Mr Stark,” Peter said, immediately catching your dad’s attention. Peter pointed in your direction. ”Oh, what’s up?” Tony asked, quickly looking at you before turning back to his work. It frustrated you to see your dad ignoring you in such an obvious matter, it annoyed you that he didn’t hear you but he heard Peter.

Frustration turned into sadness as tears prickled by your waterline, you tried to blink them away as you cleared your throat, catching your dad’s attention. ”What is it?” He asked, sounding annoyed in your opinion. ”Nothing, just that J-Jarvis isn’t working in my room,” you said as you walked away. You didn’t want your dad or Peter to see when you cried. ”What’s up with y/n?” You heard Peter’s voice ask as you walked away from your father and him. ”I don’t know, maybe y/n’s feeling a little upset,” you heard your father say, clearly trying to say it in a way so that you wouldn’t hear. ”Should someone check up on y/n then?” You heard Peter ask. You didn’t hear what your father said due to the fact that the elevator doors had closed.

As the doors closed, your tears began travelling down. You weren’t jealous of Peter, you couldn’t be, he brought so much happiness to everyone. It kind of pissed you off how smart he was, you had your fair share of skills which your dad used to take interest in, he tried to get you interested in anything that might involve your skills, thus making you develop. But since Peter came along, it was all about him, it was good that your dad had someone to share things with, since you weren’t really interested in his field, but it still hurt to not get even nearly as much attention from him as you used to.

You weren’t really feeling your nest today, just in case your dad came by to fix Jarvis, which you highly doubted, you wanted to be somewhere else. Maybe the vents, there you could spy on people, you used to love being in there as a child, but abandoned that when you turned older.

You climbed inside the vent and were surprised by how spacious it still was, even for a young adult like you. You had no idea which way you should go but decided to follow the noise that reached the vent, Natasha and Steve in the training area. They were fighting each other while having a rather loud conversation. ”I don’t know what’s wrong with y/n, but I also don’t think that it’s okay for Tony to just ignore it all. He’s not doing anything to make y/n feel better,” Natasha said as he swung Steve’s legs from under him. Steve’s back hit the ground, getting his air lightly knocked out. ”But young people get sad all the time, why should he jump at y/n’s every whim?” Steve asked as he slowly got up from the floor. ”Y/n isn’t just sad, something is wrong and we should help,” Natasha said and kicked Steve in the chest. Steve grabbed her leg and sent her flying across the room.

You didn’t bother listening to their conversation anymore, was everybody suddenly talking about you? Why was suddenly everyone on your case? Why did they care?

”Hey y/n,” you suddenly heard from behind you, making you yelp loudly. ”Hey sorry it’s just me,” Peter apologised. You fell against the wall of the vent but decided to stay there in a sitting position. ”What are you doing here?” You finally asked after calming down a bit. ”I came to check up on you, you seemed a bit off,” Peter explained. You groaned loudly, ”Why is everyone talking about me today!” You complained.

Peter settled to sit next to you, but still giving you space.

”Everyone is just worried, you look sad and we barely even see you anymore. You’re hard to even recognise nowadays.” Peter said, stealing glances at you. You groaned slightly, trying to decide how to possibly end the conversation.

”I do realise that I might be the last person you want to talk to, yet I’d beg to argue that I’m the one to understand you the best.” Peter was right, and you hated it. You banged your head against the wall of the vent in frustration, ”I hate that you’re right.” You finally admitted. You took a deep breath before opening your mouth, might as well. ”I don’t know, it started out small. I was a child and some bad stuff was going down and I really didn’t know how to deal, people are more likely to notice a depressed child than a depressed young adult I guess.” ”Dad got me some help. Talked to a real nice lady, gave me blocks to play with and all. Yeah well anyway, I thought I was better. A lot of years went by that I was completely okay, until recently.” You explained as you pulled on any loose cuticle or nail you could find on your fingers. ”It just crept up all of a sudden, I didn’t have the energy to fold my laundry or make my bed. And then I just started sleeping a lot, like a lot. And before you know it, I’m awake at three in the morning, on the roof, and I’m looking at an at least 20 story drop. And I have no idea what the hell I’m doing there.”

It felt like some weight was coming off of your shoulders, you silently shook, eyes getting a little teary - that was good, right? "And then there's the fact that I'm a Stark. I'm Tony Stark's son and expectations are laid on me every day, if not by him then the world. I don't know if I have what it takes. I mean, I am smart but I'll never be able to fill his shoes." You continued, drawing the curtain open a bit more.

”Did you ever think about telling Mr Stark?” Peter asked, curious.

”Well I mean, at first I didn’t even notice anything that alarming, and when I finally did notice, it felt like it was too late, you know? Like how would I even bring that up? Hey, dad, I kind of want to jump off of a building because I’m sad!” You said, the last part overly cheery to compensate the tears that currently were cascading down your cheeks.

Peter moved a little closer to you, ”You know, it’s never too late, Mr Stark loves you very dearly and he wants to help you.” When you didn’t answer Peter he took the chance to do his own monologue. ”You know, he never shuts up about you. To him, you’re his most successful invention, he always talks about you, never fails to mention your achievements, no matter how small. You’re the best son Mr Stark could have. He’s genuinely so proud of you and he loves you more than anything, it breaks him to see you like this because he’s so lost he doesn’t know what to do to help you.”

After that Peter let the silence sizzle in the air, he waited for you to say something. You needed a moment, what Peter said opened your eyes, you had never thought that your dad even could be proud of you and to hear that he was the proudest of you and he loved you that much just put things into perspective.

”To be completely honest, I was kind of jealous of you and the bond you have with my dad.” You admitted when you felt strong enough to talk again. Peter laughed a little, ”why on earth would you think that?”

”You build stuff together, the two of you as a duo looks like the most normal thing this tower has seen in years. It feels good to know that dad has someone to share his passions with since I’m not all that talented or interested in whatever the hell it is that you two do, yet I sometimes feel jealous. It’s not your fault and you shouldn’t feel bad, it’s just my brain. I’ll get over it.”

”Do you want to go talk to Mr Stark?” Peter asked after a while. The moment was over, but you still wanted to thank him. ”I think I have to. By the way, thank you. Thank you for finding me and talking to me, it really means a lot.” You said and offered Peter a smile, a smile that was for the first time in months, genuine.

Peter returned the smile, ”It was nothing really, you would’ve done the same for me.”

”Mr Stark!” Peter called out once you entered the workshop, the dishevelled head of your precious dad shot up from somewhere admits all of the ”junk”.

”Y/n wants to talk to you!” Peter said before turning to you. ”It’ll be alright,” he reassured you and gave you a thumbs-up as he walked out, giving the two of you some privacy.

”Son! What’s up?” He asked when you approached him. He climbed out of a machine he was building. You took a deep breath as you sat down on something you felt would hold your weight. You felt your dad’s burning gaze, yet, you decided to not return it. You stared at your shaking hands as you slowly began. ”D-dad, I think I need help.” Silence. ”I don’t know, I’ve been feeling pretty bad lately and I feel like I should talk to someone about it.”

You heard your dad pull out something with wheels on it, he seemed to sit on it and roll towards you. His feet quickly came into your view. His hands slowly grabbed yours. ”Look at me,” he said, his voice shook just the tiniest amount. You slowly found his eyes and took the sight in. There was no disappointment or anger in his voice, just worry. ”I want to help you, and I will. But I need to know what’s going on.”

You sniffled a little, breaking the eye contact to collect yourself.

”I didn’t even notice it at first. I just didn’t have the energy to do the everyday things, I was exhausted all of the time. The next thing you know I’m having a staring contest with the concrete from the roof in the middle of the night. I don't even know why. I guess I'm just not happy anymore. It's not that my life sucks or something like that. I'm a Stark, people expect things and I don't know if I can amount to that greatness. I'm not like you, I'll never be." You said, trailing off at the end.

"Y/n, I'll never want you to be like me. You are perfect just the way you are, you are my son - best one anyone could ever ask for. I'll always love you and you're the most important thing to me in this whole world. I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you when you needed me the most. I promise I'll get you all the help you need and I promise to never leave your side." Tony said all of those things with ease, his voice shook but there was so much meaning in his voice. It was gentle and loving, like the hug he offered you. You accepted the hug since your dad was the best hugger in the world.

His arms wrapped themselves around your shoulders as you laid your head on his shoulder. "Y/n, I love you 3000, don't you ever forget that." He whispered into your hair.

[tulipjeanohare]

Untitled

PAIRING: EZ Reyes x OC (Sloane)

NOTES: I wrote this during Season 2 and just never shared it but I’ve been wanting to get back into writing. SO, I hope you guys enjoy and I’d love feedback!

WARNING: Mature Themes.

Credit to the person who made the gif @shadesalvarez

WORD COUNT: 6, 370

It was another typical Friday night at the bar; the place was packed wall to wall, a new band was perched on the stage performing a set list of songs she’d never remember, and the regular unfavorable drunks were crowding the bar top. Just another weekend wasted working behind the bar when she’d much rather be somewhere else doing just about anything other than this. The bar wasn’t that bad, really. But it wasn’t what she wanted. It paid the bills and that was all that mattered to her as a single mother.

There was never time for men and she was fine with that. Her son didn’t need any other men dropping in and out of his life. That much she were sure of. So she lived the monotonous life that she had grown accustomed to the last few years. During the week she worked at a local art museum in an attempt to keep her passion for art alive while she couldn’t afford to actually make any then the weekend came and she spent her nights slinging drinks for every lowlife that decided to slither into the dimly lit hole in the wall bar off the highway.

It wasn’t as bad as it seemed, she had regulars that she loved seeing and for the most part everyone kept their hands to themselves and tipped rather well. The whole single mother thing did work to her advantage from time to time. But every now and then some idiot would come in trying to impress whatever frat friends he had drug along with him and made a pass at her. She could normally handle herself pretty well but when they got too aggressive she defaulted to the gruff, muscular man they’d hired to work security.

Tonight was no exception to any of this.

Earlier in the evening she had dropped her son off at her friend’s house and gave him an extra long hug. Promised him she’d see him bright and early in the morning and she was off. It never got any easier to leave him; he was four now and was the smartest kid she’d ever met, she might be a little biased but it was true. Those big brown eyes of his melted her heart every time he gave her the same sad puppy dog face before she left. She knew he was fine there. He loved her friend, she was like family to the both of them. But she still hated to leave him to go deal with a bunch of overly macho men for hours on end.

By the time she got to the bar the place was already crowded and the band had already started to play. As quickly as she could she made her way behind the bar and dumped her bag and jacket in the backroom before making her way to her first customer of the night.

-------------

EZ had taken off from the clubhouse almost two hours ago without a plan in his mind of exactly where he was going. All he knew was that he needed some space. He needed to forget the life he’d chosen for just a few hours and pretend he wasn’t the man he’d become. The loud engine of the motorcycle roared in his ears as he passed a big black sign reading ‘Big Al’s Roadside Bar, Next Exit’.

That’ll have to do, he thought to himself.

When he pulled into the gravel lot in front of the building there wasn’t a single motorcycle in sight and he felt a weight lift from his shoulders he didn’t know had been there. Before he headed inside he took off the leather cut with his name stitched on one side and shoved it into the bag on the side of his bike. There was no reason for anyone here to know who he was or that he ran with any club.

His watch read half past eleven when he entered the door. Enough time for him to have a couple drinks and maybe make his way to that motel he'd noticed just up the road. The place was loud and the people were crowded inside like a can of sardines so he figured his best bet would be to make himself at home up at the bar, hide himself in the corner there and get a little drunk.

Once he reached the bar though he was a little more than surprised to see such a beautiful woman behind it. All the bars in Santo Padre either had weathered old ladies behind them or former inmates he’d probably seen in passing during his time inside. The woman behind this bar was far more beautiful than anyone he’d seen back home in a long time. She had thick mess of black hair that fell well past her shoulders, he watched as she pulled it back into a bun at the nape of her neck.

She looked real. Not like the girls who hung around the clubhouse in hopes of becoming someone’s old lady. Her face was bare except for the gloss that created a sheen on her plump lips. Lips he’d pay good money to kiss. The black jeans she had on hugged her every curve so tightly he couldn’t help but stare when she turned to hand another bar patron their drink. The T-shirt she wore had the Virgin Mary printed on the front, exactly like the statue that sat inside the clubhouse in Santo Padre, but he was sure if wasnt some funny pun for her because he’d noticed the delicate cross necklace hanging around her neck. One arm had a smattering of tattoos he couldn’t quite make out while the other seemed bare.

It hadn’t occurred to him that he’d been staring at her until she turned to him, blowing a stray strand of hair out of her face before leaning her palms against the bar top, “you wanna order something or are you just gonna stare at me all night?”

“Shit, sorry,” he quickly answered.

A laugh fell from her lips, a laugh that rang over the music. It was sweet and soft, no malice behind it. It made EZ’s shoulders relax a little. “S’ok...not the worst anyone has ever done in this bar. Long day?”

“You could say that,” EZ replied.

Without a word she nodded, reached under the bar for a cold beer and popped the top off before sliding it across the table to him. “Nothing an ice cold beer can’t help, right?”

“Amen,” he smiled, reaching in his pocket for some cash.

Before taking it the bartender eyed it for a second, “you wanna just open a tab?”

“Nah, I’ll take it one beer at a time,” he assured her.

-------------

The rest of the night went off as usual; the same guys sidled up to the bar to grab her attention for a few quick moments before another pushed his way up to her. But there was one thing that was different tonight. The guy at the end of the bar.

He wasn’t like the others. His eyes were kind and he spoke with more eloquence than any man she’d met in her entire life had. He was polite and quiet, a god send on a night like tonight. So she spent a little more time at his end of the bar than any other. Any time he would finish a beer she was sure to be right there with a fresh one and he would hand her another handful of bills.

One beer at a time.

Things were beginning to quiet down at one when it happened.

She was wiping down the bar top at the other end of the bar when a new guy took a seat. He leaned over a little too close for comfort when she asked him what he wanted. Then when she handed him the class of brown liquor he’d asked for he grabbed her hand in his, which she quickly shook herself free of.

EZ took notice of the interaction. He’d been nursing another beer, trying to decide if it was time for him to head to that motel when he saw the guy grab hold of her hand. He felt himself begin to react before she shook her arm free, scowling at the guy before walking back down towards him.

“You alright,” he asked, his voice low so only she could hear.

A smile crept across her lips as she nodded, letting her elbows rest on the wood top while she leaned over it. “I get five of those guys a night...that’s nothing. I appreciate your concern though...I never got your name.”

“EZ,” he smiled, those pearly white teeth of his on full display.

Standing there across the bar from him, a mere few inches from him, she felt like her heart skipped a beat. There’s got to be a catch here, she thought to herself. “EZ? Interesting,” she smiled, holding her hand out for him. “I’m Sloane, nice to officially meet you.”

When he took her hand in his she could feel the slight blush creeping up her cheeks. She hoped to god he couldn’t see it in the dim lighting in the bar. But the rough, calloused feeling of his palm against hers felt nice. A sign of a real man.

And EZ got a rush of electricity through him as he held her hand in his. He could smell her perfume wafting in front of him when she leaned in closer to him. It was like a field of fresh flowers on a breezy day. “That’s a nice name, it suits you,” EZ said softly.

Before either of them could say anything else someone at the other end of the bar was shouting for her. Quickly she gave him an apologetic look before making her way to the person.

Once again EZ was tempted to watch her; the way she moved was so easy, like she was doing a dance every time she’d spin around to grab a bottle of liquor or reach one way or the other for a glass. The same piece of hair kept falling in her face until she finally pulled the hair tie from her hair and let it fall at her shoulders. Somehow it made her even more beautiful to him. The dark mess of hair she’d had pulled back before now framed her face. Every now and then she’d tuck a piece behind her ear before it fell again.

The way he was feeling towards this new stranger in front of him was different. It had been a long time since he’d felt any sort of way about a woman. His mind had been stuck on one in particular and it was becoming more and more evident that nothing was ever going to happen with them again.

She wasn’t Emily but deep down he felt like she might be better than Emily.

Just as he was getting lost in his thoughts he noticed the same guy from before giving her a hard time. But this time he had a hold of her forearm, hard enough that her skin was white where his hand held to her. He gave her a few seconds, waiting for her to pull free of him again or for the bouncer to jump in but nothing like that happened. The guy kept holding onto her and she was getting more and more agitated as the interaction went on.

“Let go of me right now,” she all but shouted at the guy.

He rolled his eyes, leaning in closer to her, “oh come on, stop playing hard to get and just let me take you home.”

Before she was able to get another word out EZ had his hand on the guys arm and was almost chest to chest with him. “Let her go before I make you,” he said, his already deep voice seeming to drop another octave.

Now it was a tangle of arms in the middle of them. EZ holding tightly to his while the guy still kept his hold on Sloane. And the next thing she knew the drunk guy was headbutting EZ and lunging towards him. With her arm now free her eyes darted around the room in search of her back up, the guy that was generally posted up at the end of the bar to keep his eye on her was nowhere to be found. All she could do now was hope it didn’t get too out of hand.

EZ took a quick swing at the guy and landed his fist right on his chin, knocking the guy back a couple steps. But that didn’t stop him from going at her new friend again; swinging with all his might in hopes of landing something. It was clear to Sloane that this wasn’t EZ’s first fight, he knew what he was doing but the other guy was way in over his head with too much testosterone and alcohol running through him to tell him to stop while he was ahead.

A few more punches had the guys lip bleeding and his already wobbly footing worse. By that time the bouncer had made his way back to the bar and quickly grabbed hold of the swinging drunk and started to cart him out of the bar. He turned to yell at the other man that he’d be back for him but she stopped him, “let him be, he was just stepping in to stop that guy. He’s fine.”

The bouncer glanced from his bartender then to the muscular man standing just a few feet from him, not a single bead of sweat on him. All he could do was nod and continue kicking the other man out of the place.

“You really didn’t have to do that,” Sloane shook her head, trying to conceal the smile attempting to break across her face.

As much as she hated having anyone thinking they needed to defend her honor she had to admit that it was really hot seeing him land that punch. And his body hadn’t looked bad doing so either.

She pulled another bottle of beer from the ice and handed it to him, “this one's on me, as a thank you.”

“You don’t have to,” he started.

Shaking her head she pushed the money he’d started to hand to her back his way, “I’m not taking no for an answer.”

-------------

The band had long since vacated the stage and people were filing out of the bar by the time EZ had decided it was time to leave. Sloane had been a breath of fresh air for him and he didn’t want to have to head out any sooner than he had to. But he figured she wanted to get the place cleaned and clock out so he’d dropped some cash on the bar top for a tip and started for the door. But soon he heard her familiar voice call out to him.

“Hey,” she shouted, her voice carrying over the soft music playing from above. “How do you feel about a couple drinks...back at my place?”

EZ wasn’t sure he heard her right. Sure, she’d given him a little more attention than any of the other bar goers tonight but he hadn’t even for a second thought she’d ask him back to her place. The room felt a lot quieter as he stumbled with his words, completely caught off guard. “Uh, yeah, yeah...that actually sounds great.”

“Give me ten minutes,” she replied before bouncing off to wipe down the tables scattered around.

-------------

The two of them fell into an easy rhythm on the drive to Sloane’s place, both of them eager to hear the other’s voice no matter what they were saying. Every now and then she’d catch his gaze lingering a little longer than he’d intended for her to see and it gave her those familiar butterflies from earlier in the night. She was having an internal battle with herself though; this is so stupid...what do you thinks going to come of this, she’d hear the voice in her head ask. But she didn’t care. It had been years since she’d had any kind of relationship with a man, one night would be good for her.

So, a fifteen minute drive later and they were pulling up to the front of her apartment building and he was following her closely up the stairs. To be fair he wanted to press her up against her door the minute they hit it but he restrained himself, he wanted to let the night last as long as possible. He was enjoying himself. Enjoying not thinking about his life back home.

“Place might be a little messy,” she told him, kicking her shoes to the side as soon as she stepped inside with EZ following suit.

While she busied herself in the kitchen searching for the liquor EZ wandered around the living room, taking everything in. The place was immaculate except for a few toys strewn about on the floor; a small blue blanket with cars all over it tossed over the side of the couch hastily, a tiny plastic easel in the corner with a freshly done finger painting clipped to it. Next to it was a larger one with the beginnings of an incredible, vibrantly colored painting.

“You have a son,” he asked, his voice carrying to Sloane in the kitchen as she grabbed a couple glasses.

Biting her lip she nodded, placing the glasses on the coffee table in front of the couch before making eye contact with him. “Yeah, he’s the one guy in my life,” she beamed. “Just turned four last month, he stays with my best friend while I work at the bar on the weekend. Is it weird?”

“Nah, I love kids,” EZ smiled. “Dad in the picture?”

Sloane shook her head, pouring some of the brown liquor into the glasses. “No, it’s probably for the best anyways. We make a pretty good little duo. What about you?”

“Just me,” he said, wincing a little as the hard liquor stung the back of his throat. “Pretty close with my pops...and my brother.”

It was tempting for her to question the little pause he made before he mentioned his brother but she didn’t think it was any of her business having only just met him a few hours ago. She felt so at ease with him though she almost asked, it was on the tip of her tongue to say something but she held back. The smile that lingered at the corner of his lips told her there was good there.

The two of them sat side by side on the floor in front of the couch; the coffee table pushed out a little to give them more room, their bodies turned towards each other so they could talk, the brown liquor getting less and less in the bottle. There had been a handful of moments where EZ had wanted make a move. To rest his hand on her thigh or tuck a piece of her hair behind her ear before leaning in for a kiss. But he wanted to hear more about her and her life and everything about her.

He was enthralled.

And so was she.

She could see the kindness in his eyes. Past the bruise under his left eye and the cut on his cheek there was more to him. When they had left the bar she’d noticed the motorcycle and wanted to ask him about it but she decided not to. There was probably something there she wouldn’t like and tonight she just wanted to have fun. Every time he made even the slightest move the veins in his forearms shifted just the slightest bit and it made her think of how it would feel to have those arms wrapped around her body. Then he’d speak and she was enticed by the deepness to his voice, the diction in the wash he spoke was nothing like she’d heard around there before. The guys there wouldn’t know how to string an intelligible sentence together if their lives depended on it.

EZ was different.

-------------

Sloane rested her head on the chest of the new man in her bed. One arm of his slung around her waist while his hand gently stroked her hair, tucking a strand behind her ear. She let her hand rest on his abdomen before she let her fingers trace lines down the center of his stomach. He was all muscle and she could feel it while he was on top of her, the way his body weighted over her as they moved in rhythm together.

The room was silent except for the heaviness of their breathing. EZ felt chills run up his spine the way she tucked her leg over his bare thigh while they laid there. Her soft skin felt like silk against his and he wanted to stay like this for as long as possible. If he closed his eyes long enough he could still see her silhouette above him in the dark room. He could envision the way her hips moved back and forth as she rode him. His fingers holding tightly to her hips until he finally pulled her down close to him so he could nip and kiss at her skin.

For a second he leaned down and pressed a kiss into the crown of her hair, a simple gesture that spoke volumes, before he spoke. “Ezekial,” he said quietly.

“Huh,” she questioned, turning so she could rest her chin on his chest.

The outline of his face just visible in the moonlight pouring in through the closed blinds. “That’s my name. My full name. Ezekial.”

“I like that,” a smile spread across her face and she wasn’t sure why. She turned her face to nuzzle her nose against his bare shoulder before peppering his skin with a few quick kisses. “Ezekial.”

EZ loved the way his name sounded coming off her lips. The raspiness in her voice and the way he could almost hear her smile as she said it. He’d heard it countless times before but it felt special when she said it.

After a few more silent minutes she got up to use the bathroom and he leaned over to grab his boxers, sliding them on before he turned the bedside lamp on. The bathroom door was left open a crack and he could just barely see her naked frame moving in front of the mirror before she pulled his shirt on over her head. His eyes wandered down her body as she walked back into the bedroom, the shirt of his clinging to her curves and just stopping below her ass.

“You’re incredible,” he grinned, reaching his hand out to her as she moved to the side of the bed.

She couldn’t help but smile back at him. Not because of the compliment but because of the way his face lit up as he said it. The laugh lines next to his eyes crinkled as his smile widened and it made his deep brown eyes even more endearing than they already were.

Thoughtlessly she let him take her hand in his and pull her down onto him on the bed. Her legs rested on either side of him as he let her sit in his lap, his hands resting at the small of her back. If he had it his way this night wouldn’t ever end. He hadn’t thought about the club or his brother or Emily all night and it felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

“Where’d they make you,” she asked with a hint of a laugh in her voice. “You’re...different. Good different.”

He didn’t answer her with words. He simply just wrapped his arms tighter around her and pulled her into his chest before he pressed his lips against hers once more. There wasn’t any hesitation there; her lips parted to allow his tongue to slide across her bottom lip before they let themselves get lost in the kiss. Sloane’s mind wandered back to earlier in the night after they’d finished their whiskey and their bodies had somehow moved closer and closer to one another where they sat. She could see his eyes move to her lips every now and then while they talked and she wanted to beg him to kiss her about a hundred times before he actually did.

And once he finally did they were quickly moving to the bedroom. Her bedroom she hadn’t shared with anyone but her son in a very, very long time. They’d stumbled down the hallway attached at the lips before he finally grabbed ahold of her and pressed her up against the wall. Her legs wrapped around his waist instinctively as they both yearned to be closer to each other.

“Is this okay,” EZ had asked, his lips trailing down her neck while his hands held tightly to her back side.

It had made her smile; it had been a very long time since any man had ever asked her permission for anything let alone this. So she had placed her hands on either side of his face and pulled his attention back to her face before speaking. All she said was a breathless yes before they stumbled their way to the bedroom.

By the time Sloane was able to pull herself back to reality, back from her thoughts Ezekiel had flipped her onto her back and was pushing his shirt up over her chest to let his mouth wander over her breasts. A shiver shot through her at the feeling of his soft lips kissing and sucking at her skin. She let her fingers run over the smooth buzzcut of his as he traveled farther and farther down her body until she could feel his warm breath between her thighs.

Before they had both been so hungry for each other all they wanted to do was get off and quickly. But now they wanted to take their time. EZ wanted to explore her body; he wanted to hear the way she’d moan the first time she felt his tongue on her, he wanted to know how it felt to have her body wrapped around his while they made love. Sloane wanted to hear his gruff voice whispering to her while he was inside her, to feel the weight of his strong body on top of hers once more.

The room had fallen silent except for the sound of the shaky breaths she was taking as he gave his full attention to her core. His tongue lapped at her lips teasingly before she felt his teeth graze the sensitive little nub tucked inside. A whiney moan escaped her, her back arching at the new sensation. His hands held tightly to her thighs with his face buried between them for what felt like an eternity and by the time he pulled back her entire body was shaking on the edge of an intense orgasm.

“Ezekiel...please,” she almost pleaded with him.

A smile curled at the corners of his mouth before he peppered the inside of her thigh with kisses, “be patient, baby.”

And she tried to stop herself from letting out the sound that came next but she couldn’t help herself. The moan was throaty and full of lust, her lips parted perfectly and bright cherry red from how she’d been biting on the bottom lip. Hearing him call her baby was more than enough to encourage her to hold off for him. If she was honest she’d do just about anything for him right now.

Once more his lips trailed her skin but this time he was heading upwards, leaving the spot between her legs he’d made himself at home at and making his way to her breasts. The pink colored skin of her nipples was pebbled and hard from just the light nibbles he was giving her skin. But he hadn’t forgotten about her needs; while his mouth made quick work of her nipples he let one hand slip between her thighs and slipped two fingers inside of her which elicited a sharp intake of breath from her.

Her body writhed underneath him in an attempt to hurry along her orgasm because she knew once she came like this he’d been inside of her. And her body felt like every inch of her was on fire the way he was working her core with just his fingers. The tips of his calloused fingers were gliding over her gspot repetitively while his thumb rubbed back and forth over her clit.

Just as her back began to arch off the sheets below her EZ moved his attention from her chest up to her neck and then let his lips rest against her earlobe before he spoke. “Can you come for me,” he whispered, his free hand caressing her side.

In her head she had a witty line to reply with but she couldn’t get it out. The wires were crossed because her body was in overdrive the way he was fucking his fingers into her. So she settled on a lot of eye contact and a quick, almost pleading, nod of the head.

“Good girl,” he cooed.

At that her legs began to shake and she let her nails dig into his bare back as she began to hit her climax. A few throaty moans broke the silence in the room before he pressed his lips to hers, letting his mouth swallow her audible pleasure as she came down.

For a few short moments the two of them laid there tangled together allowing each other to cool off. But she could feel how hard he was as his erection pressed into her hip. Without a word she slipped her hand between the two of them and slowly stroked him, his hips absentmindedly working in motion with her hand. “I need you,” she breathed, pressing her lips to his temple.

They both knew one of them should’ve reached for a condom. It wasn’t anything new to either of them to use protection but they couldn’t be bothered in this moment. Both of them ached to feel that closeness between the two of them again. They each wanted to feel the slow movements of the other while they were so intimately joined together. Before had been quick and sloppy. But this, this was going to be slow and needy for both of them.

They hadn’t spoken of it but they both knew the other needed this intimacy. He was looking to forget his life back home for a while and she was holding off on reality herself. She wanted to remember what it felt like to have a man’s gentle touch, to be with someone who wanted to be with her.

EZ lifted his head until their foreheads were resting against one another, his nose grazing the tip of hers as he repositioned himself between her legs. He pushed her legs wider with his muscular thighs, his cock grazed her lips for a second before he slowly slide inside of her.

In unison they both let out shaky moans; her hands gripped onto his biceps as he hovered above her, their faces still touching. His eyes studied her face for a few more moments before he began working his hips against hers. The soft sound of skin on skin filling the quiet bedroom. One hand of his slipped beneath her to grab hold of her backside while the other slide up her neck until it was placed just under her chin, the slightest amount of pressure applied.

“Ezekial,” she sighed, her lips curling into a smile at the feeling of his hand around her neck.

He had to clinch his jaw to keep his composure. Hearing his name fall from her lips like that, with the visual of his hand where it was placed was too much for him. And the way her body moved in rhythm with his as he fucked her slowly only made him more sensitive. To keep his mind occupied, to hold himself off as long as possible, he busied himself kissing up her jawine until he buried his face into the crook of her neck. The faint smell of her perfume lingered there.

Sloan let her eyes flutter closed as he allowed himself to rest on top of her, bringing them closer together as they fucked. One leg hooked behind him to keep them close while her hands held tightly to his broad back. His skin was soft to the touch and he smelled like sandalwood, she couldn’t imagine anyone like him ever being in jail but he’d divulged that to her earlier. If it had been anyone else she would’ve ended the night but not with EZ. No, for some reason even after he told her about his past she still felt safe with him.

“You feel so fucking good,” he finally spoke again.

She smiled against his ear, nibbling at the skin, before pressing him back from her and back onto the bed. For a split second he fell from her but she quickly straddled him and guided him back to her core. A shutter went through her at the way she stretched around him. “I could do this all night,” she finally replied, her breathing uneven.

That beautiful smile of his spread across his face and she couldn’t help but smile back. Even in the darkness of the bedroom she could still see how perfect it was, she could still map out the little creases at the side of his eyes that formed when he smiled.

Resting her hands on his chest she began to buck her hips back and forth quicker now. His hands found their way to her hips and held onto her as he watched her from below, his hips working up against her. Her eyes fluttered shut and her lips parted at the feeling of him slipping deeper inside of her. EZ’s eyes were fixated on the way her breasts bounced up and down with every movement either of them made.

The tattoos that littered her skin on display as she rode him and he wanted to kiss every last one, trace them with his fingertips while they laid naked together. He wanted to know about the little one that sat on her left hip all the way up to the lotus flower at the nape of her neck.

Soon he was pulled from his thoughts when he heard her call out his name once more. This time it was needy; her brow furrowed together as her body leaned down closer to his. Instinctively he placed his hand into her mess of hair and pulled her down even closer until they were chest to chest. Again their foreheads hovered close together as he began to take control.

It was her turn to watch him as he fucked up into her in an attempt to get them both off. Short, choked moans came from both of them as they got closer and closer. She could see the neediness behind those brown eyes of his. And she could feel it in the way he was holding onto her, his fingers digging into the skin of her ass.

Slipping a hand between them she began to work her clit in time with the way he was working into her and it made her breath catch in her throat. The sudden newness of the pressure against the bundle of nerves drove her closer to the edge. And he could feel it in the way she tightened around him so suddenly.

Again they locked eyes as he fucked into her a few more quick times before he felt her tighten against him. Her mouth fell open as she let out the most lust filled moan he’d ever heard. Which only egged him on more, thrusting into her at a punishing pace until he finally released inside of her. Her lips rested against his earlobe as she let out a few more soft, whiny moans while he slowly continued to work into her.

The two of them went at it like this for the next few hours until the sun began to creep into the room through the blinds. He held her close against his chest as they spoke in hushed tones as if someone could hear what they were saying. It took everything in him to finally make himself leave her. But he knew he needed to start home or else he’d have more missed phone calls on his cell.

She pulled the sheets up over chest while she watched him pull his jeans on and search for the shirt of his she’d pulled on earlier in the night. The way his muscles moved under his clothes only made her want to pull them off again but she knew he had to leave. He had a life somewhere else and she had a son she was missing more than she realized at that moment.

“Last night was,” EZ paused, trying to think of the right word to us.

[fizziefizzco]

A to Z of LynnCove: B is for Birthday

Cove’s first birthday in Sunset Bird is not going as well as he expected... ok its going horrible, but thankfully Lynn is there to the rescue (Feelings are Crush and Direct)

[ low-key this is me counting down to @gb-patch’s release of the Step 3 dlc, but also kinda beyond that because why not] 

---------------------------------------------------

If he was entirely honest about it, Cove didn’t really expect anyone from school to show up to his birthday party. He didn’t have any friends in class and only gave out invitations to everyone because his dad made them. No, what really made this the worst birthday ever was that his dad had forgotten. Yes! Forgotten the party that HE was going to set up. If anyone HAD shown up, they would’ve been in for a terrible surprise. Mr. Holden was even super busy that week, and had forgotten all about his fatherly duties.

So when cove left his room that morning, not expecting much but still hopeful, he was met with disappointment and an empty house. His father had left a note and breakfast on the stove that he had to run in to work for an emergency - with no indication that he knew it was his son’s birthday. Cove honestly wanted to cry right away; and the feelings began to well up inside of him as he grabbed a plate and sat down to eat breakfast. Cold eggs and bacon. Happy birthday to him.

[rest under the cut] 

Meanwhile at the Cho house, or rather a few hours earlier ... Pamela Cho came downstairs to a frantic answering machine message from Cliff Holden that he needed to go somewhere for the day due to an emergency at work. When she tried calling back to get an explanation, Mr. Holden wasn’t picking up his phone. Hrm. Well it wasn’t an inconvenience for them to take care of Cove that day - her and her wife’s youngest child seemed to love him in a rather innocent way. Their older daughter was indifferent to him. 

As though she’d called their name, little footsteps came bounding down the stairs as she set the phone back in it’s place. Pamela, or Mom, as her kids called her, was a morning person - and thankfully so was Lynn, her youngest. Her wife Noelani, and oldest child Lizzie, were both the kind to sleep in late. So it was just Pamela and Lynn at the moment. 

“Good Morning Mom!” Lynn called out as they hopped over to where one of their mothers was. Pamela smiled and let out a small chuckle, 

“What’s got you all excited this morning?” She asked, reaching out to ruffle the mess of dark waves that Lynn had. Lynn didn’t move away from their mom, and relished in the comforting gesture. 

“It’s Cove’s birthday!! His dad sent out invitations for a party, I helped cove hand them out to the whoooole class!” Pamela smiled 

“That’s - “ She cut herself off, eyes going wide in dawning horror. “You said ... TODAY is Cove’s birthday?” and when Lynn nodded back with confusion, Pamela made a b-line to where her keys were. 

“Baby go wake up your Mommy, okay?” Pam called out, turning to grab hold of her child’s shoulders. 

“What’s wrong mom?” Lynn asked. 

“Mr. Holden just called me that he had to leave for an emergency for work. Looks like there won’t be a party today.” Pamela spoke as she slid her shoes on, Lynn let out a small gasp. 

“That mean’s Cove is all alone on his birthday!” They exclaimed. 

“Exactly. Now go wake up your Mommy, I’ll bring Cove over here.” Pamela opened the door as Lynn ran up the stairs to go wake Noelani up.

Cove was taken by surprise when his front door opened. A tiny part of him wanted it to be his dad, and say ‘surprise buddy! I didn’t forget about your birthday!’ but there was no such thing. Instead, one of Lynn’s moms was at the door - a sympathetic look in her eyes. 

“Hey Cove.” She spoke, walking over to where he was sitting at the counter island. “I got a call from your dad that he had an emergency. Thought I’d come pick you up to spend the day with us.” Cove looked away from her and back down to his breakfast that he’d barely touched. “Come on, we’ll take you out for breakfast since we know it’s your birthday.” His eyes widened as he heard those words. 

“Y- you know it’s my birthday?” Cove questioned in a tiny voice “I thought that everyone forgot.” Pamela’s heart broke for the poor kid. 

“No way. Lynn was practically off the walls with excitement this morning. Your dad too, told us to make it a good day for you in his message.” Pamela never really lied, but this time it was needed - as the kid already had a hard enough time with his father. Cliff deserved this much. Cove nodded and moved to hop off the chair that he was in. His bright pink cast still on his arm, only a month or so until he’d get it off. Pamela helped him wash and put away all of the leftovers and pots/pans. She was the neat freak between her and noelani, but it seemed that Cove didn’t mind it and was just following along. 

As soon as the two of them got back over to the Cho house, they were greeted with quite a surprise. A few balloons, a banner, and some streamers were decorating the main living area. Lizzie and Lynn both popped confetti-poppers and Lynn shouted “surprise!” as the pair of them came through the door. Cove entered with a visible look of surprise on his face, though that soon was supplemented by a bright blush when he noticed Lynn’s bright expression. 

“Noelani!” Pamela exclaimed, “How did you put this all together so quickly?” Noelani shook her head, her sprawling curls bouncing as she moved. 

“Not my idea.” Noelani spoke between yawns , “Lynn was like a tornado. I trust you’ll give me a real explanation.” When Pam smiled at her and nodded, she nodded as well. 

“Iranalloverthehousetogetallthisstuffforyou!Itsallmostlymyoldbirthdaystuffandsomeoflizziesbutwedon’tmindoratleastIdontmind!Imsogladyourehereicantwaittocelebratewithyou!” Lynn’s voice went a mile a minute, making Cove’s (and their mom’s) head spin. 

“Thank you lynn.” Cove spoke softly, cutting off anything else that Lynn was going to spew out. Lynn just kept quite and smiled brightly at him. 

“Since Lynn looks already dressed, how about the three of us change and we’ll all go out to take Cove for birthday breakfast?” Pamela offered, to which Lizzie and Lynn nodded vigorously. Noelani offered a smile and was the first one to head up the stairs.

“Do you think we can go to that pancake place that has the confetti pancakes?” Lizzie asked, looking hopefully at her Mom. 

“If that’s what Cove wants for breakfast, then sure.” Pamela answered. When the eyes turned back to him, Cove nodded with the smallest of smiles. 

“I like pancakes.” He spoke simply, and with a cheer from Lizzie - Pamela and Lizzie both headed to get changed. The two people left in the living area were Lynn and Cove. 

“Happy birthday Cove.” Lynn spoke with a smile. For some reason that he wasn’t sure of, it made him feel a lot better , their well-wishes. He didn’t quite know what to say but- 

“Thank you Lynn.” A blush creeped across his face as he followed Lynn to the couch, the two of them hopping up to wait for the others. 

“I got you a birthday gift, but you’ll have to wait before we get back. Mommy said I couldn’t bring it with us to breakfast.” Cove nodded and the two of them talked quietly about this or that , mostly breakfast preferences, until the full family was ready to head out and go get breakfast. 

Breakfast went well enough. Cove got birthday pancakes, but really really didn’t want the waiters to sing to him - which was perfectly fine for the family (ok well lizzie wanted to hear the song, but her protests were shot down). After they returned to the house, Lynn’s moms went to go have an ‘adult talk’ and Lizzie ran off to her own room, leaving Cove and Lynn alone once again. 

“Oooh!” Lynn exclaimed as they ran up the stairs ,with Cove following slowly behind them. “I can’t wait to give the gift to you. I worked really hard to find the best thing. Ok, things, to give you!” Cove could feel the excitement radiate off of Lynn, and despite how sad he still felt, was smiling a little at the thoughtfulness of the day so far. He followed close behind, and all the way to Lynn’s room - which was much neater compared to his bedroom at home.

He sat down on Lynn’s bed at their request, and watched as Lynn grabbed a medium-sized box from their closet. It was all nicely wrapped up, with a bow and everything. He marveled at it in awe as Lynn set it down next to him.

“Go ahead!” They motioned to the package. “Open it!” Cove rather expertly tore through the wrapping paper, and the ribbons, to get to the present inside. 

It was a box of various things. There was a  small box that held a bracelet similar to the one Lynn always wore, a dolphin keychain, a stuffed monkey with sunglasses and surfboard, and another small box that took up half of the medium-sized one. As Cove took that box out, he felt that there was something important in this one. Maybe it wasn’t literal gold, or diamonds, but he got the feeling that it was important either way. 

In the smaller box was a set of various scavenged objects: shells and sea-glass mostly, that were all gathered from the beach that laid just down at the end of the street. It was all so good, Cove thought to himself. But then he realized something. Lynn’s special sea-finds box was gone. That meant... 

“Lynn I-” He started, but Lynn cut Cove off before he could say anything. 

“I want you to have this. It's got lots of good stuff.” Lynn’s smile was wide and brilliant as they motioned for him to keep the box. 

“but it’s your-” 

“I can get more. It will be much more fun to gather with you now.” With those words from Lynn, Cove let the matter rest. He looked back down at the box and smiled, more to himself than to anyone else. He still felt really bad about his dad forgetting his birthday, but Lynn was there to make him feel better. She set up a surprise and got him the best gift ever. There was no way that he could ever thank her properly. 

“Thank you Lynn.” That would have to do for now, but Cove would spend the rest of his life thanking them for always being there for him, for always waiting for him, and for being right by his side whenever he needed them. Lynn never had to do any of the things they did for him, but they did so willingly and without question. So, for that, it was a great first birthday in Sunset Bird. 

[ if you’re wondering; Cove’s dad felt really awful about the whole thing and managed to get his son a great gift... which was why he’d been super busy lately. He’d wanted to get his son a fishtank and supplies. Noelani and Pamela gave him an earful though.. ] 

[littlefreya]

Nice day for a White Wedding

Summary:  Even on your wedding day, there is no getting away from August. His grip over you has no boundaries.

Pairing: August Walker x Reader (you)

Word count: 3.3K

Warning: Explicit smutty smut, MaleDom/FemSub, stripping, spanking (rather hardcore this time), slight fingering, bondage, rough sex. Wheeeeee

A/N: So my amazing @agniavateira​ who is also my editor(!) challenged me to a request a while ago and it turned out Ummm more explicit than I thought. So I hope you guys don’t unfollow me after this but not blaming you if you will. Also the name, yes, I am a Billy Idol fan. 

Title: Nice Day for a white wedding

White suits you well, a delicate contrast against the shade of your skin. That dress was, without doubt, a marvellous choice. Your mother complained about it being too simple, wanting you to pick something more extravagant. But you knew from the moment you saw it that this dress you wanted to get married in.

The sheer fabric with the little floral details, the way the tulle flows from your hips and falls down your feet makes you feel like a fairytale princess. You can’t help but pose at the mirror in your living room; chin atop the arch of your shoulder, tilting your head and letting your hair sway down your forearm.

All that’s missing is a little golden tiara and a bouquet of pale pink roses and you’ll be ready for the big day.

You nudge your thumb against the diamond ring, and then collect the tulle of the dress in both arms, lifting it and letting it fall calmly onto the floor.  

“Looks good on you, princess.”

Your blood turns to ice in your veins. You don’t even need to turn, that deep thunderous voice is already distinguished. 

Your little fairytale has taken a dark twist. You glance at the reflection, watching how he appears from the umbra of light.

A monstrosity so beautiful it makes your heart feel sunken.  

You keep quiet, letting his footsteps dominate the atmosphere in the room, making it thick and heavy with fear. He moves from the darkness, letting the light shower his face. He looks the same as the day you left him. His face still appears as if it was cut from marble by some artist; that moustache still adorns his face, giving him that dangerous-looking edge. 

Without even noticing you hold your hands together, trying to cover that striking diamond ring. But August notices, his eyes trailing over your reflection, drinking in every detail.

“When is the wedding?”

You swallow hard and narrow your eyes, not wanting to dignify him with an answer. He has no right to be here, to taint the new life you created for yourself. 

Because that’s what hurricane Walker does, he leaves you bleeding, a wreck of a woman. 

August lowers his head, looking at his shoes. Knowing him well, it only means that he is harbouring his anger right now. Hell, he has been harbouring it for the last three years.

“This weekend.” 

Talking to him feels as if you broke some spell or summoned a demon by mistake, making him real and not just a figment of your imagination. 

He answers with a bitter smile, his eyes touched by a storm. 

“You really thought you can just leave and then marry someone else? You really thought I’d never find you?” 

“I never thought you’d care enough to bother.” you dare, assuming you’re right. But you remember what happens when you err with August. The payment is painful.

The storm inside him begins to rage. His eyes blaze, even from where you’re standing you can see the small wrinkles that form at each corner.  

“Turn around.” 

Slowly and carefully, as if to not awaken any sleeping dragons, you turn. Refusing to meet his glare, you stare at the floor, hands laying loose at the tulle of your dress.

“Take off that fucking dress.” 

He commands in a voice so calm and rich it wouldn’t have sounded like order if it was heard by another person. 

Stunned by his demand, you finally gain the courage to look into his eyes. The sight of those blue crystals is the cage that draws you in. 

A prison of delights, made of diamonds. Beautiful, but still sharp.

He smirks, knowing he just won. One look and you are his, you’d fight it every time but the conclusion would always be the same: you’d be sore and sorry. Numerous times you told him it was over, yet you always took him back.  

“Did I stutter? Do as you’re told!”

Much to his delight, your chest heaves, making your breasts rise and fall in the v-shaped cleavage of your dress.. You reach a hand behind your back, pulling the zipper down which immediately makes the dress loosen from your body.  

Staring down at nothing but your shattered dignity, you reach for the strap hooked around your shoulder and begin slipping it down. 

“Slowly, and keep your eyes on me.” August demands, forcing you to pause with the strap in the middle of your forearm. Your eyes dart up to meet his stare, trying to read whatever is in that dark mind. 

Perhaps, it’s best you’d never find out.

The strap slides down your forearm before you tend to the other, letting your fingers strip it down while trying to think of some sensual song in your head. That’s what August wants: debauchery and eroticism.   

Your eyes remain on the beautiful blues obediently, trying to show no fear, but the quiver in your lower lip gives it away. August remains composed, caging you in his gaze, there is a faint grin in it.  

The fancy dress finally slips from your body, the fabric swirling around you for a swift moment like tender petals falling from a rose. It piles at your ankles and you hurry to cover your breasts as if he hasn’t seen them a thousand times before. 

He gives a huff, taking one step closer while shaking his head. 

“Aww, is my little princess getting shy? Lay down your arms.”

You obey, exposing your breasts to him. 

The outlines of his cock begin to show as he hardens against his trousers. The thought of it makes you damp in your underwear. It’s been three years, you can’t help but wonder how many broken mouths he had around him since you left. 

You’ve only been with one man and he is hardly the man August is. Yes, he satisfies you, but August destroyed you. 

His hand reaches to adjust his erection before inching toward you. The soft thud of his footsteps makes your heartbeat pace abnormally. The closer he gets, the bigger he looks. You wonder for a slight moment if he was this muscular back then when you still dated.

Finally, he towers over you, his face tilted down as he looks at you, offering a slanted smirk full of dark desires. You remain stoic, unsure how you’re supposed to react but then he leans in, pressing his lips ever so gently on your forehead. 

Everything you felt three years ago hits you like an axe at the back of your head. You breathe, nearly shocked by the circus of emotions that flood your chest. All that love and lust, all that fury and sorrow. 

Falling for August is worse than any sad love song ever written. The problem is, you’re sinking into an abyss.    

His lips hover over your mouth, his nose gently bumping against yours. Still, he remains there. Only his hands move as they work the seam of your plain cotton panties, rolling them down your thighs. 

He takes your hand, raising it and slightly pulling away so it will be at the level of his face. He looks at your ring finger with harsh disapproval. Opening his mouth, he takes your finger in, making you flinch as the hot wetness of his saliva surrounds your delicate finger. He suckles on it for a mere second. Your finger comes out bare and he spits the ring on the floor with utmost contempt.

With your wrist locked in his large hand, you never dream of protesting. On the contrary, you want to beg him for more, forgetting that you once had dignity. You can’t help but pout at his mouth, your eyes seeking that little freckle on his lower lip. 

“Did you dream of the moment I’d find you?” August asks, letting his finger trace the shape of your mouth.

“Sometimes, it was a nightmare.” you declare, parting your lips against his touch.

August hisses through his nose, his touch turning from gentle to crude in an instant. He grips your nape and conquers your mouth, exploiting your flimsy gasp to slip his tongue in. He kisses you for your betrayal, for all the years he had to suffer others, for the days he needed you and you weren’t there. His lips suck onto yours, changing angles to onslaught you from every direction. His tongue is fickle as it overpowers yours, and you hear that deep hum of his voice that makes you flutter against him.

Your lips are swollen and red when he ends the kiss. If not for the hand that holds your nape and hair, you’d be down on the ground by now.

“Get on your knees.” 

Still breathless you stare at him stunned as if his words are suddenly too complicated. Sighing with a wisp of frustration he shoves you down, forcing you to kneel in front of him. 

You are now facing his very hardened bulge, your eyes stare at his groin and then travel up to look at him submissively. August is in his favourite position, on top, staring down with his chest puffed with arrogance. His hands reach to unbuckle his belt and you can’t help but press your hands to massage that aching desire of his, longing to have him in your mouth.

But he has other plans, forcing your chin away with a pinch of his fingers. “No, I want you on four and I want to see you crawl.”

His hand leaves your chin, his head gestures at the direction of the bedroom. Where you and your-soon-to-be husband spend the night.

“Do as you’re told.” he commands, hardly even needing to raise his voice. “And do it slowly, I want to look at your cunt, I want to see how much you drip for me, understood?”

“Yes, August.” You turn on your knees and begin crawling on four, trying to be as sensual as possible. You arch your back and sway up your ass for the man you’ve abandoned for so many good reasons, yet right now you can’t even think of one.

You can hear the rustle of clothes behind you, the thud of his shoes being thrown somewhere and eventually the sound of the leather of his belt as it slips from around his waist. There is a small smacking sound and you realize he’s still holding the belt and slapping it against his palm. 

Your knees nearly give in at the thought of what awaits you in this bedroom. But you still crawl on, swallowing your pride. 

August kicks the door closed when the two of you are finally inside. It’s just the two of you in the house, you find it odd but then you realize it means to heighten your fear, to make you feel hopeless and owned. 

He reaches for your elbow, pulling you to stand up, letting you glimpse his god-like form only for a moment before throwing you facedown on the bed. You are pleased to see you were right, he has grown bigger in the last three years, gaining more muscle.  

You feel the bed shift as he places one knee on the mattress, and with one strong hand, he collects you to stand on four again while he kneels right behind you. You know what’s coming next but you are still surprised, hissing in as his large hand slaps your ass and then squeezes your flesh possessively.

“Did you miss this, princess?” his hand squeezes even harder, his middle finger slightly teasing your slit. 

You bite your lips, leading forward and squirming with anticipation for the next one. “Yes.”

“Yes, what?” he asks and grants you another slap, this time making sure not to miss your swollen lips. You gasp, fingers wrapping around the floral linen of the bed. 

“Yes sir.”   

You turn your head, seeing him stare at your mound with sick hunger while the bulge in his trousers appears agonisingly enormous. This is what always scared you about August, how much he was willing to endure to torture others.

“Look away,” he warns you as he notices your stare. You realize the belt is still in his hand and you shiver, uncertain if you want to find out what August planned as your sweet punishment for running away. 

“You thought you can just come into my life and leave?” he asks you, one hand sliding up the curve of your ass. You mean to answer but then you feel movement behind you, and then make the mistake of turning your head to gander at him.   

The first smack takes away your breath. The leather stings against your skin, so harsh that for a moment there you are sure the flesh came off from your behind. You try to be brave, fighting away that cry that begs to escape from your throat. 

You deserve this, after all.

You hear him breathing heavily behind you, prolonging the time of the next smack. You won’t foresee it or get used to the pain too quickly, so the excitement will get you wetter. You try to adjust your breath, your back arching upward and downward when you receive the second smack. 

“Uh!” the whimper you fought to keep leaves your lips, your hand pulls on the bedsheet. The worst part is that you’re throbbing, and not just from the pain. Your petals are swollen red, needy for more and August sees it all, enjoying every second of how pathetic you are.

August unleashes another punishment on your ass and this time you cry is a mixture of pain and pleasure. Your entire body squirms back and forth as if daring him to give you more.

The time in which you receive the fourth, fifth, and sixth smacks are nearly immediate. As you hiss and mewl you can hear August chuckling behind you, his free hand massaging your red aching ass, his fingers sliding up and down between your folds almost clinically to feel the soaking thick wetness that awaits him there. 

“You’re so wet, does this boy of yours make you wet as I do?” 

“No, sir!” your voice cracks into a cry, certain you will receive another smack but instead his hand strokes your body with tenderness that is a complete contrast to what you’ve just gotten used to. August always loved to play hard, he wanted you to feel him, not just his body but the raging storm of emotions inside him. 

But when he is gentle, and he would be occasionally after breaking you apart, it would be the certain touch that’ll make you die out of love. 

His strong digits brush down your sensitive muscles, soothing you, tracing and admiring every curve he missed and yearned for. 

You moan, enjoying his caress, eyes closing dream-like while the mattress shifts again. You sense August as he moves closer, his arm reaching to grab at your torso, pulling you to stand on your weak knees. He keeps you pressed against his chest whispering in your ear how much he missed you while brushing your hair aside. His kisses are amorous, prolonged and wet on your neck, trailing up and down, leaving tingling sensations on your body.

“August…”

You hum in delight, you missed having his name on your tongue even though you’ve been doing that many times while pleasing yourself, ashamed of how even when you ran away, this man still had you captive. 

“Take me, princess,” he demands against your ear in a raspy voice. Somehow you manage to ignore the snake-like sensation of the harness that wraps around your neck. When you realize what he is doing, you’re already leashed and thrown back on your elbows while August kneels behind you, holding one hand around your waist while the other is clasped around the leather strap.

“August!”  

He hushes you sweetly and tugs the strap to warn you, making you grind backwards at his demand. 

“Be my good girl,” he asks darkly and pushes himself all the way inside you, as deep as he can possibly reach. His fist tightly holds the strap, pulling you to him to meet his thrust and slide you on his cock.

Your groans are synced in a delightful unison, both of you overwhelmed by how much you missed each other’s bodies.

August makes you feel whole, not just by his generous length and girth, but because it’s him. Even though he made you cry way too many times that you can count, the ache of not being with him was far, far worse. 

He pulls away from you in an achingly slow rhythm, one hand squeezing your pained cheek while the other slightly loosens on the leash. You already protest at his departure, needing him back inside when his fist clenches again, tugging you back to meet his punishing thrust. 

“You feel... so... good, princess.” his voice is as broken as your heart as he sheaths himself inside you, groaning loudly to let you know how great and tight you are around his cock. “Take it,  take it all.”

You’re a whimpering, feeble thing, completely submissive to his urge. Throwing your head back with your hair falling against your spine, you let him slam into you again. August harnesses you like a bitch, having complete control over you while your heart flutters at both the sensation of his cock splitting you apart and those deep grunts that escape his mouth. You’ve missed everything about him, the scent of his body, the bass of his voice, his ravenous gaze and even his stupid moustache.

You’re in a haze, existence becoming nothing but beating emotions, your united throbbing organs and the friction that continues to tighten and grow. Suddenly, August’s entire weight is sinking onto you. He moves to cover you, one hand pressing on the mattress while the other reaches out to your neck. His fingers lace underneath the leash while he begins to pump into you violently. 

There is wetness on your cheeks, rolling and dripping down your chin beyond your control. August sighs, looking at you and kissing the salty tears away.

“You know, you look really pretty when you cry.” 

Little spasms spiral from your core, right where you are connected, where August is claiming you as his. He grinds you into oblivion, ignoring the resistance of your walls and whispering dirty things in your ear. One by one, the tendrils of pleasure begin to snap and your walls shudder and dance urgently around his cock.

“Did you really think you could just break my heart, princess?!” 

It was all it took to destroy you. You collapse forward, your orgasm is so intense, you crouch down beneath the large man and scream your pleasure into the pillow. Your ass bucks back against him, taking his swollen cock all the way inside and forcing him to lose control and erupt into your body with a shudder and a prolonged grunt.

You feel the warmth of his seed seeping inside you. He likes to grind himself in while filling you with his cum, giving you all he has before pulling out and watching how it trickles down from your battered entrance with some twisted pride.

With his hands around your ribs, he takes you down with him, lying you on your back while he hovers onto you, sweaty and panting. Now begins the part when he takes care of you, soothing kisses and claiming strokes on the wetness of your body.

“Call off the wedding,” he makes one last demand, his lips pressing to your abdomen, trailing down lower in apology for every painful bruise that surely will be there tomorrow. 

You comb the mess of curls on his head between your fingers, watching him with a clenched heart while he lifts your legs and kisses all the way from your curled up knee to your inner thighs. 

“You are coming home with me, and that’s the end of it.”

Closing your eyes, you flex on the mattress with muscles aching from his touch. Your lips part slightly as you whisper your answer into the dark. _______________________________

[annab-recs]

I Promise - JJ Maybank

You and JJ have been fighting more than enjoying time together like you used to, and when you have had enough, do you stay, or do you go?

Requested by an amazing anon 💙

Warnings: some curse words; mentions of alcohol and drinking

Word Count: 2.4k+

--------------------------------------------------

“Kie, I don’t know what to do anymore. We fight more than we talk about normal things and it is exhausting. I don’t want to end things, but I don’t want things to keep going as is,” you spill to the girl sitting across from you. Normally, you would go to Sarah for these things because she knows you better, but now, you need someone who knows JJ better. Kie chewed on the inside of her cheek as she pondered ways to help you.

“I don’t know, y/n. I know he’s in love with you and that he wouldn’t risk losing you. I don’t know what has gotten into him lately, but I know he loves with all his heart. Just don’t give up on him, okay?” Kiara’s big brown eyes begged you. You wanted to tell her that you would not give up on your boyfriend, but you honestly didn’t know how much longer you could deal with the constant arguing.

“I’ll try, but he’s got to try too,” you sighed as you ran a hand through your hair.

“He will! I know he will. He loves you, y/n.” You nodded at her statement before looking at the ground.

“Hey,” Kie grabbed at your chin to lift your head up.

“We’ve got a kegger to go to tonight and we are gonna have fun. If JJ is still gonna be a whiny bitch, then fuck him. You can have fun with me and Sarah and the other guys.” She grabs your hand and pulls you up off her bed with a smile. You return her one, though not as enthusiastic as her own but she understands.

“Let’s go!”

…

You sat on some of the driftwood that was all over the beach with a red solo cup in hand. With Sarah to your left and Pope to your right, both were cracking the dumbest jokes and that was exactly what you needed right now. As giggles filled the air around you, they were interrupted by the blond who you were not on the best terms with at the moment.

“Pope, can you man the keg? Topper and John B are getting into it and I gotta help in case the other two knob heads show up.” Pope nodded and left for the keg as JJ ran off.

“I’m gonna go see if I can cool them down. It’s probably about me anyway,” Sarah spoke softly as she patted your leg before hopping off the wood.

So, it was just you, alone. Kie walked off with some girl who was really into saving the environment, paper straws and all. JJ, John B, and Sarah were somewhere out of sight. You could see Pope. He wasn’t but maybe ten or fifteen feet away, but he was busy with the line of Outer Banks inhabitants, a mix of kooks, pogues, and tourons. The poor guy could probably use some help so that is what you decided to do.

“Need some help?” You chuckled as you approached the Heyward boy. He shot you a goofy grin as he nodded and handed you the cups. From there, you two started a little assembly line. You would separate and hand him the cups. He’d grab the cup, fill it, and hand it to the person in front of him.

“Hi, are you from here?” A boy with gorgeously tanned skin, jet black hair, and bright green eyes asked you as you pulled out another cup.

“Yeah, I am. Are you?” You are quite sure you’ve never seen him before because he is definitely the type of guy who would catch your eye, but you don’t know every single person on the island. You tend to stay in your tight-knit group of pogues.

Pope reached over to your hand to grab the cup you pulled from the stack since you were distracted and weren’t handing it to him. You muttered a ‘sorry’ before facing the guy again.

“No, I’m just visiting. My aunt lives near here and likes to come here a good bit. We were at the beach earlier and some girl invited me to this so here I am,” he finished his words by flashing you a kind and bright smile.

“Outer Banks is a great place to be,” you chuckled, and he joined in with you.

“I’m Daniel, by the way,” he introduced before sticking his hand out for you to shake. Gladly, you took his hand in yours, shaking it.

“I’m y/n,” you smiled at him before Pope handed Daniel his drink. Daniel stepped to the side to be out of the way of the line but was still beside you to talk to you. You smiled down at the cups in your hand as you grabbed one to hand to Pope for the next person in line.

“So, what do people from here do for fun?” Daniel kept up the conversation.

“Umm, we surf and hang out with our friends whether that’s on a boat or at the beach or at someone else’s house, but that’s about it. There isn’t much to do as a local. It’s a great visit for tourists though.”

“Yeah, that The Wreck place is so good,” Daniel tells you before taking a sip of beer.

“Oh, that’s my friend’s family’s place. It’s my favorite restaurant her-” Your words were cut off by someone clearing their throat rather loudly, clearly wanting your attention. Your eyes leave the jade ones to meet a set of ocean blues.

“Can I talk to you for a minute, y/n?” Based on the tone of JJ’s voice, you knew something was wrong, but you had no idea what the problem was. A sick feeling settled in your stomach when you realized that it would probably end in a fight.

“I see you later, Daniel. Kie, can you take over the cups?” You asked the girl who randomly showed up out of nowhere. She nodded before giving you a look telling you that it will be okay. The corners of your lips lifted slightly in a ‘thank you’ smile before you left to see what was bothering your boyfriend.

“So, while I went to go help my friend, you go and flirt with other guys.” Your jaw dropped at the accusation.

“Excuse me?” you spat as your blood began to boil in your veins. “I was helping Pope with the keg that you decided to leave because John B can’t handle himself and a touron started talking to me. You can go ask Pope. He was beside me the whole time we were talking, and he’ll tell you we weren’t flirting.”

“I saw the way you were looking at him, y/n! You used to look at me that way when we first started talking.”

“Yeah, but all we ever do is fight anymore, JJ! Look at us right now! We are fighting again! It’s exhausting and forgive me for having a nice conversation with someone who doesn’t constantly pick arguments with me.”

“Bullshit! We don’t always fight,” he fumed, shoulders rising and falling with the deep breaths he was taking.

“When was the last time we spent a few hours together and it didn’t end in a fight?” you asked him. You were genuinely interested in his answer because you could not remember when the last time was.

“The other day when we were all surfing, we didn’t fight.”

“You got mad that Rafe came up to me and when I was trying to handle it, you came out of the water fuming. Once he was gone, we fought about how I can handle myself without you and you said that you were my boyfriend and that is your job to protect me.”

“Was I wrong?” He questioned, bringing back the argument from a few days ago.

“JJ!” you scolded.

“What?” He did not seem to see a problem.

“We aren’t fighting about that again. I am so tired of the constant fighting and arguing. I told Kie I’d try to stay, but JJ, if things keep going how they are going,” you paused trying to collect yourself as tears pricked your eyes, “then I don’t know how much longer I can do this.”

“Y/n,” JJ’s voice sounded defeated as he reached out towards you, but you didn’t fall into him like you normally would. A tear slipped past against your will as you looked away.

“I-I can’t,” you whispered, scared your voice would break if you spoke any louder. You walked away from the blond as you searched for another.

“Sarah, can we leave?” you asked your best friend. Her honey brown eyes looked sad as they met your tear-filled ones.

“What happened sweetheart?” She asked as she brought her hands to cup your face, her thumb sliding across your cheek to wipe away the stray tear. Her eyes left yours for a moment to look behind you. You turned to see what it was that caught her attention and met JJ’s eyes. Turning back to her, you nodded your head at her.

“John B, get your friend under control before he loses the best thing that has ever happened to him,” she told John B but the venom in her voice was directed towards JJ. She grabbed your hand and led you to her car. The ride to Tannyhill was short and you kept your eyes trained out the window. You two pulled up to her house and when you got to her room, you let it all out.

“I’m just so tired of fighting. I’m tired of arguing. I’m tired of it and it’s all we do anymore, Sarah,” you spoke through sobs as Sarah wrapped her arms around you. You love JJ with all your heart, but as you said, you were exhausted from the continuous fighting.

“I know it, baby,” she whispered as she comfortingly rubbed her hands up and down your back.

“You know I asked him earlier when the last time we hung out without fighting was and he told me when we were surfing the other day. I told him that we did fight that day and he tried to bring that argument back up. I love him, but I can’t stand him,” you poured your heart out.

“Let’s just get some sleep. You need some sleep.” And with that, you wiped your tears and fell asleep.

…

“Sarah,” you whisper as you shake your best friend awake, but it was not working. You rolled your eyes before trying again.

“Sarah!” you whisper shout and shake her more. Eventually, her eyes flutter open and meet your own.

“What?” She looked around curiously as she asked in a groggy voice. Once again, you heard the commotion from downstairs that you heard earlier before you woke her up. Brown eyes dart to your own and her eyebrows furrow together.

“What was that?” She wonders out loud.

“I don’t know, but I don’t want to check it out alone,” you told her as you got up out of the bed. She followed your actions before heading for the door, leading the way down the stairs. As you two approached the source of all the noise, you could make out the words and who they were coming from.

“Calm down, Rafe,” Ward said, a soothing voice to help calm his angered son.

“No, Dad! Not when some dirty pogue-“

“Dirty pogue?” you asked, effectively shutting Rafe up. All eyes turned to you and Sarah placed a comforting hand on your arm. You met the blue eyes that you hadn’t seen since last night and you weren’t planning on seeing today.

“You’re here? I went to your house, but you weren’t there,” JJ spoke desperately, a happiness evident in his voice that he found you. Sarah leaves your side to pull away Rafe and Ward follows his two oldest children. You walk up to JJ, grabbing his arm and guiding him outside.

“Why are you here?” you questioned, a little angry that you were woken up this way and were not ready to talk to him just yet.

“When you weren’t at your place, this was the next best thing. Y/n, I am so sorry for how I’ve been acting. I love you so much and like Sarah said last night, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I don’t want to lose you. I can’t lose you.” He takes a pause and you stand there, waiting for him to continue.

“Last night and the other day with the Rafe thing when we were surfing, I was jealous. You are a beautiful girl and you are so amazing. I am terrified that I am going to lose you, or you are gonna realize that you can do so much better than me and leave. I know I’ve been a jealous asshole, but I love you, y/n.” You feel the tears coming back, but you keep them from falling.

“I love you too, J, and I am not going to leave as long as the fights stop. We can fight every now and then like a normal couple, but not like how we have been lately. And you have absolutely no reason to be jealous. You are the only person I have eyes for. No one else on this island stands a chance against you. Okay, baby?”

You step forward, placing his face in your hands. It was nice to see him so caring and thoughtful rather than enraged. While seeing him so angry was really hot, it was not as enjoyable when you were who he was mad at. He nods his head in your hands as he brings his hand up to your face, wiping away a tear that managed to escape against your will.

“I promise to do better, y/n. I mean it.” You nodded your head as you pulled him into for a kiss, a feeling you had missed so badly. You two had only shared hello or goodbye kisses lately, but a passionate kiss like this one was one of the many things you longed for while things between you and him were rocky. The two of you pull away, staring deeply into each other’s eyes.

“How about we get out of here? I’ve missed you, you dirty pogue,” you giggle as a big smile spreads on your face.

“Dirty pogue? Oh, you’re gonna regret that.” With that, JJ throws your body over his shoulder and a yelp escapes your lips.

“JJ! Put me down!” you squeal as you slap playfully at his back, wanting to feel the ground beneath your feet again.

“I’m gonna make you regret calling me a dirty pogue, sweet cheeks.” And after that statement, you knew you were in for it later.

[kendrixtermina]

Appreciating the Range of Type 6, or, one stereotypical example, and three that aren’t.

I want to tell you about some type 6 ppl that I know in my personal life.

Exemplar #1: F. B.

Complete Stats

Wing: 5 p or cp: largely phobic – lots of safety worries, outright authoritarian follower personality Instinct: sp/soc Trifix: 613  - 6w5 1w2 3w2 (“The Taskmaster” or “The Middle Manager”) jungian: ISTJ / SLI-Te oldham: Conscientious & Aggressive Essence Type: Mars Temperament: Pure Choleric

What he’s like:

Not pleasant.

Every “strict conservative middle aged guy” stereotype in the book. Control freak, makes a mountain out of every molehill, sees the world as full of axe murderers, judgemental as fuck, horrible temper and yet completely impersonable, all his opinions are copypasted from right-wing news sites. When they say war is good he’s for war, and when they say war is bad he’ll be like “At least Trump did not start any more wars” without perceiving a contradiction. Despite this, he believes is very hot, principled and funny. He is none of these things. He puts people down nonstop. My knowledge of neurochemistry tells me that he must have emotions somewhere or he couldn’t function, but I ain’t ever seen a single one of those emotions. They’re all for his job and a few trusted mentor figures. And his mom. At least he loved her.

If you say anything he doesn’t like, he “throws the sofa out the window” as his wife once put it.

How he’s a Type 6:

Well, he’s pretty much every negative stereotype in a nutshell… other than distrusting his partner. But that might be cause hes sx blind, or cause the wife is big on monogamy & wouldn’t ever cheat.

The one positive trait of 6 that he has is that he does his research. Before moving anywhere he googles the crime rates and if you need a doctor he might find you the best one. But even that can be overriden by ideology (hydroxychloroquine!). And if you don’t take his exact advice, there goes the sofa out the window again…

And I guess the work ethic from all 3 parts of the trifix really comes through – he hasn’t had a single bad grade in his life and always keeps collecting new certifications, and will make sure you hear about it...

Exemplar #2: I.

Complete Stats

Wing: 5 P or cp: pretty much an even mix of phobic and counterphobic Instinct: sp/soc Trifix: 614 - 6w5 1w2 4w3 (Would prolly call herself “The Big Pain” rather than “The Philosopher” ^^°) jungian: INTJ / ILI-Ni oldham: Serious & Conscientious Essence Type: Saturn Temperament: Chlor-Mel

What she’s like:

I’d describe her as serious, mature, discerning, focused and passionate about her friendships, if perhaps somewhat forceful at times, with a dry, sarcastic sense of humor.

Comes across like someone who knows what she’s talking about, with well-articulated points.

Often the Responsible Sibling, Designated Sanity Checker or Bullshit Detector.

Prefers to plan everything in advance in typical Ni dom fashion, even amusement part trips. Gets somewhat anxious without a future plan or shedule.

Often mistaken for a whole lot more sociable and confident that she really feels inside. (even I kinda bought it and got her whole darn trifix wrong on my first typing attempt, though that was when I was new to typology) She can act the boss act temporarily to get the situation over with, but she actually hates making decisions.

She does however have the occasional cute/pure moment where that lower function block comes out.

How she’s a Type 6:

She has saved our family from many a terrible restaurant by making sure to check the reviews. The preparing for all possible dangers is very 6, the acting tough outwardly when youre inwardly anxious, the intellectual problem solving & some tendency towards organization/responsibility/ “logistic” intelligence.

One online test she took gave her 5w6 instead of 6w5 but that’s probably just the ITxx-ness leaking in. I remember this one time we were discussing this artsy-fartsy theater play to which we’d had fascinatingly different reactions, and at one point I half-jokingly said something like “But does anyone ever really feel connected to others, or is that a myth?” to which she wrote, “[Name], what the fuck? Yes I do.” and then immediately deleted it. That’s more of a 6 reaction innit?

Nonetheless the wing does feature in significantly – for example she got very well informed about a lot of topics because she researched them to assuage a random survival-related fear, like, “How to make sure I have enough retirement money”

Exemplar #3: M.

Complete Stats

Wing: 7 p or cp: largely phobic Instinct: sp/sx Trifix: 692 - 6w7 9w1 2w1 (Fortunately very much a “Good Samaritan” rather than “The Stockholm”) jungian: ISFP / SEI-Fi oldham: Sensitive & Devoted Essence Type: Lunar-Venus Temperament: Pure Supine

What she’s like:

Precious! Sweet, nice, good listener, friendly, gives all the best gifts. But also perceptive and good at understanding people, eg. mediating to the parents when one of the younger sisters is having An Emotion™ or winning the trust of problem children.

Unlike I. Who has some soc that helps her keep track of a larger circle of friends despite her introversion, M. tends to enjoy the closeness with her family and have just a few very close friends. Excellent friend material all around! The sx and Se also come out in enjoying art forms involving the body like theatre or dance.

She can be a bit shy, conflict-avoidant and occasionally a lil bit panicky though.

As a small kid she used to be super duper shy but then a wise english teacher encouraged her to play a big role in a play, and since then she’s a lot more confident and doesn’t let ppl push her around without limit, though she’s still a quiet, helpful person. There you see the difference that a good teacher can make.

How she’s a Type 6:

For one thing she moves and emotes faster than a core 9 would, and she fits the body language – big eyes that move around a lot, stands a bit lopsided, talks in a shrill voice on the rare occasions where we exhaust her patience etc. As a xSFx and a w7 she shows mostly the “warm, friendly, likeable” side of type 6. She also has a very 6-ish tendency to very frequently ask people’s opinions & feedback before making decisions. (the other fixes probably add to this)

Alas, she also has a little bit of of the fear/insecurity.

Also she has a social/care job which might be seen as 6-ish desire to serve the community.

Exemplar #4: J.

Complete Stats

Wing: 7 P or cp: largely counterphobic Instinct: sx/soc ?? definitely not sp first. Trifix: 638 - 6w7 3w4 8w9(?) (Shall she be a “Justice Fighter” or a “Kyle”? Only time will tell.) jungian: ISTP / LSI-Se ?? Oldham: ? some Dramatic & Serious, perhaps ? Essence Type: Definitely Mercury Temperament: San-Mel

What she’s like:

The first adjective that usually comes to my mind is ‘cool’. Sassy, energetic & a little bit tough, but also affectionate when she wants to be. (though in admiring way rather than a mushy one)

She says the coolest things, has a certain sly sort of cleverness, and an astonishly good poker face. Bit of an occasional prankster. Hilarious. Knows all sort of cool science facts. Avid gamer. 

Not especially popular or over the top sociable, but she gets sad if no one pays attention to her a while. Will act visibly moody where ppl can see sad or worried and can catastrophize a bit in such situations.

How she’s a Type 6:

I first though we might be getting an ExxP type 7 since she was a pretty energetic child, but once puberty hit and independent thought manifested, she turned out a whole lot too reactive and ‘edgy’ for this, and more on the ‘moderate introvert’ side of things.

Since then the sisterly dynamic has been like one fluffy golden dog and 3 hissing black cats. Hissing Cats #1 and #2 are very proud of her, but cat #1 was forced to conclude that she’s probably not a positive outlook type.

Out of all the reactive types 6 fits best because she does broadcast group identity (like wearing merchandise of her favorite media and wearing buttons in solidarity with ppl she likes.) & has a big case of Big Sibling worship for M, I, and someone else who isn’t on this list due to being a 9. (a 4 or 8 might like their older siblings but probably wouldn’t constantly stress the admiration.), but she can also show lasting, pouty displeasure with authority figures who have slighted her. (Like that one time I went too far in teasing her...)

I’m just assuming the 8 fix because that tends to make 6s more bold, louder & more shameless.

Basically she is the “punk teen” type of 6. She can be a bit dramatic & over-the top but still come to her family on advice (even advice on pranks!) in ways that xSTPs of other enneagrams prolly wouldn’t.

She also tends to use self-deprecating humor in tough situations and deflects compliments to present herself as ‘ordinary’.

...

This may sound like I’m really getting down on my first example (I won’t pretend that I’m not) but the point in bringing him up is that the reason he’s like this is: He was subject to really bad parenting that put a lot of fear into him, there was no good parenting to teach him broader coping strategies, he lived in a crappy environment that crushed his dreams, in a sense ‘confirming’ those fears and making him double down, resulting in a person who is just always rigidly following the same predictable pattern or jumping from one automatic reaction to the next with very little pausing and thinking. That goes for the other types too: A ‘stereotypical’ person is a desperate person ruled by fear, who cant stop or soften up even for an instant cause they constantly feel this fire of threat under their arse.

A lot of descriptions say that 6s ‘Follow authority’ but most would balk at the notion – ‘I do the research!’ they might argue ‘I don’t just trust anyone’ or ‘I’m actually a rebel’. There is of course such a thing as denial  that’s more like the extreme case.

But with a more average, functional 6 it’s not so much ‘obedience’ as that they just like to bounce their ideas off of others to get feedback, or that they feature in other’s viewpoints. So you might get someone who can naturally use feedback (something other ppl may have to learn first) or who is very considerate of others (which others might have to consciously remind themselves to do.)

Those are sometimes pretty good traits actually.

On the other hand this is probably part of what makes decisions hard cause they consider all these possible scenarios of how things might displease or cause harm to everyone involved.

Being able to naturally snap into Action Mode under stress looks a bit enviable from the outside, but I. assures me that it’s actually super stressful & exhausting, even for someone who doesn’t get to a point of just being unreasonably aggro at you.

Though even an extreme case like F.B. would probably claim that he ‘did the research’ even as he’s 1:1 quoting the Pope at you, and then saying that you ‘have to be respectful’ even if you don’t even believe in Christianity. Hence why you get a lot of authoritarians talking about “disrespect”. You didn’t “fail to obey”, you “disrespected the flag” or  “hurt the feelings of the Chinese people”. Because they’re still trying or inwardly thinking that they’re doing the consideritation & considering other’s PoV thing when they’ve long since crossed from respect and consideration into mindless obedience, all while still thinking that they’re very sceptical and discerning cause after all they really distrust the other political party or whatever.  

In a way you get this obsession with ‘mind control’ cause they’re not unaware of & very much looking to guard the blind spot. They’re adults trying to do adult things.

For example, if I voiced an opinion to F. B. which he didn’t like, his reaction was often to ask “who told you that”

That’s just how he seems to think opinions work, somebody tells them to you.

Makes one wonder how he thinks new opinions start.

Yeah - Nobody told me that. I concocted it myself in some corner of my head. And in the interest of objectivity, I should stress that you can also end talking out of your ass that way, if you’re not basing it on enough outside data. Making up new shit has more of a quadratic than a linear learning curve – at least with copying you get something semi-useful right away. In making up your own you might be really off a long time before you stumble on something useful.

Also, I was young at the time and it’s not wholly unreasobale to think that an inexperienced person might be duped. I reacted really badly in part cause he hit my own ego buttons cause I was of course proud of this epiphany that I had concocted by myself, and now he says (or so I perceived it, being sensitive to accusations of incompetence) that I’m too dumb to form an opinion, so of course I launched into full Obnoxious Reddit Dude Mode.

In I. It manifests more on a reasonable useful level like “Oh wait, should [young cousin] be on TikTok? I don’t want him to get sucked into some cultish BS.” which is at least something the parents should have on the radar/ warn him about even if they do let him use TikTok, because for all that it is vital for him to get his experience with independent socializing & experimentig with sel-presentation, people do sometimes get suckered into cults or goaded into unsafe tests of courage.

And in a sense… maybe they overamphasize it but to some extent they’re also simply consciously aware/ mindful of it. The rest of us are not immune to propaganda after all, solong as it’s presented in a way pleasing to our egos. Any type structure can become a ‘hook’ if you’re not careful.

[silkling]

Silkling, I really love your writing. Could you please write a TFA fic of Isaac and Bulkhead bonding over growing up on farms?

You know, I always forget Bulkhead grew up on a farm. But I would be thrilled to! I hope it’s to your satisfaction!

———————————————————————————————————

Bulkhead was painting again. That in and of itself wasn’t something new. He painted a lot. What made this time different was that he was alone at the base. Sari had taken the others to something she’d called a “theme park”. He didn’t understand exactly what a park had to have to be called a theme park, but she’d told me it usually involved lots of things called “rides” and lots of games. He also didn’t understand how a ride could be fun, but then again he didn’t know what a ride was. He had a feeling that the way Sari used it, these “rides” weren’t the kind of ride that was defined by the dictionary definition of the word. She had also, helpfully, said that theme parks were always popular and the funnest part of the “rides” was the screaming. He had opted out at that point, being more confused by what exactly that weird park entailed. So, here he was. At the base, alone and painting with peace and quiet.

He rather liked it, actually. He knew Bumblebee didn’t understand, but it was moments like this Bulkhead found himself really getting Prowl. Stillness and quiet could be nice, sometimes. He was intending to do a big project today, wanting to take advantage of the rare peace to be found in their make-shift home. The others had said they’d be gone all day. He wasn’t expecting them back till close to sunset.

So when he heard a voice from the front of the base, he was rather startled. Thankfully, he didn’t ruin his painting as he jerked, and he sighed in relief before dropping the brush in the water pot. Then he turned to the voice, head tilting as it called out again. Oh, wait. He knew that voice! The large bot lumbered towards the unexpected guest, and as soon as the smaller form came into view his engine let out a soft churr of greeting.

“Hey, Professor Sumdac.” he said contentedly. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

The human had turned at the sound of approaching pedes, his gaze locking on the Autobot at the soft rumble of his engine. He blinked rapidly, not having expected the largest of their alien guests to be the one to greet him. He would have thought it would be Optimus, or perhaps Bumblebee. Still, it wouldn’t do to be rude. He may have had more humble beginnings than most of his wealth, but his mother had taught him manners and he intended to use them. Besides, Bulkhead had been polite enough to come out and greet him, even though he was technically intruding on the gentle giant’s own home.

“Good afternoon, Bulkhead. It is very nice to see you. I apologize for the intrusion, but I was looking for Sari. You wouldn’t happen to know where she is, would you?” he asked hopefully.

Bulkhead only blinked a few times, looking a little surprised. “She took the others to something she called a theme park. I stayed behind. Screaming for fun doesn’t really…sound good. I’m surprised she got Ratchet to go.” he paused. “Actually, that may be because I’m pretty sure she has blackmail on him.” he added, as if to himself. Then he seemed to remember the point of the question, and he frowned at the older human. “She didn’t tell you?”

“That she’s going to a theme park or that she’s blackmailing senior alien robots?” Isaac said dryly. “She told me neither of those things.”

Bulkhead smiled sheepishly. “Sorry, Professor.”

“Ah, don’t worry about it. I’m certain she would have found a way to the theme park either way. I do wish she would stop skipping her lessons, though.”

Bulkhead blinked. “I suppose. You’re very patient with her. On Cybertron, if a youngling consistently misbehaves than their creators wouldn’t be as patient.” he said offhandedly.

Isaac blinked. “Youngling? Is that your word for a child?” he asked. Then the second part of the statement caught up. “Ah, pardon me for asking, but what are “creators”? I was under the impression you are living robotic organisms, not built by someone else.”

Bulkhead hummed. “Yeah, youngling! I’m one, technically. Though I’m closer to being considered a fully grown mech than Bumblebee. I’d be considered the equivalent of a 16 year old human?” he said, running the calculations in his head. “Yeah, somewhere in that range. Bee is the equivalent of a 13 or 14 year old.” He was pretty good with math. His numbers were mostly right, or at least close enough for his point to be understood.

Isaac was staring. “You and Bumblebee…are not yet adults?” he seemed stunned.

“Nope!” Bulkhead was cheerful. “Bossbot and Ratchet are. Prowl is too, I think? He’s really private but I’m pretty sure he is. He’s older than Bossbot is, anyway.” he smiled, humming to himself. “I actually think Prime is only just considered a proper mech? Like, uh….between 19 and 21 in humans terms?” he tapped his chin with a finger, only just then noticing the open mouthed gape the professor was sending him. The large bot squirmed, uncomfortable. “Professor?”

Isaac snapped his mouth shut with a audible click, then shook his head. “You and Bumblebee-“ he cut himself off, shaking his head again before he kept speaking. “You are not yet adult on your world?” he repeated, still internally flailing over that revelation.

Bulkhead blinked. “Well, no.” he said, tilting his head. “Why?”

“Because if you’re still so young you shouldn’t have been allowed off the planet!” Isaac answered, his hands flapping with his distress.

The Autobot frowned. “Well, I’m close enough to being an adult that I’m considered capable of any type of non-combatant work. When I flunked out of the Academy that left space bridge repairs.” he said. “My creators were fine with it cause they were sure I’d be staying in Autobot space territory, and since they know how well I know space bridges they weren’t actually worried about me being in danger.”

“What about Bumblebee? You said he’s even younger than you!”

“Ah….” Bulkhead hunched his shoulders. “Bee, um. He doesn’t have creators. He wasn’t cold-forged, which means he wasn’t just placed in a protoform after Vector Sigma spat out his spark, but he was a abandoned at a Youth Center as a sparkling. A, uh, a baby.” Bulkhead explained awkwardly. He squired at the probing stare. “Please don’t make me explain Cybertronian reproduction differences. Ask Ratchet.” he said desperately. He did not want to have that discussion.

Isaac sighed. “Oh, very well.” he agreed. He didn’t want to make Bulkhead uncomfortable, after all. “So, creators…I gather they are the equivalent of human parents?” he tilted his head. “Would you mind telling me about yours?”

Bulkhead perked up. “Yeah!” he confirmed. “My creators were real proud when I joined the Academy. I’m lucky they weren’t disappointed that I flunked out. They understood.” his gaze went soft and fond. “I do miss them. I know they were a little sad I didn’t want to continue on with the family business like my older brother, but…” he shook his head. “Breakdown didn’t mind staying at the farm. I always wanted more.” he sighed. “Roadbuster and Beachcomber, my creators, were just happy I was getting the chance to do something I wanted.”

Isaac stilled. “Farm?”

“An energon farm!” Bulkhead supplied cheerily. “The farm was built on top of a really big underground energon spring. Our job was to extract it, purify it, then refine it into different grades and types of energon to be shipped out to the rest of Cybertron.” He shot a fond look around the building. “This place reminds me of the energon refinery on the farm, actually.”

Isaac blinked. “You grew up on a farm.” It was a statement.

Bulkhead frowned. “Didn’t I just say that?”

Isaac smiled. “I grew up on a farm as well, Bulkhead.”

The Autobot’s eyes quite literally lit up at that little tidbit, and he shot a glance at the small lounge area they’d put together. “Sit?” he asked hopefully. “I’d like to know about earth farms.”

Isaac nodded, leading the way and taking a seat on the himself couch while Bulkhead sat himself on one of the odd tire seats. “It was a dairy farm, primarily.” Isaac smiled. “My family raised cows for their milk and sold it to stores and at farmer’s markets.” he sounded fond as he reminisced. “We also made our own cheeses. I still have the recipes!”

Bulkhead tilted his head. “What happened?”

“I…” a pause. “I was always good with machines. I suppose that I, like you, wanted more. So I went to school for robotics and then, well…” he put out his arms. “Here I am.”

Bulkhead hummed. “…I miss the farm sometimes. Even if it was annoying to have to get up so early.”

“Ah, yes. Early mornings.” The human groaned. “I remember those. I despised them. Especially when I had cleaning duty for my morning chores.”

Bulkhead made a look it disgust. “Tell me about it. Cleaning out the energon purifiers and refiners was the worst job on the farm, but I always got stuck with it cause I was the youngest.”

Isaac hummed. “I remember the smell, even years later.”

“I remember the slime.”

He paused, unsure if he wanted to know. “…slime?”

Bulkhead nodded. “Yeah, see, when energon is being refined and when it’s being purified, the process involves removing unwanted contaminates or components at a base level.” he tilted his head. “The finished product comes out looking fine, but then it leaves a very thick, sticky slime on the insides of the machines that has to be cleaned out.” He grimaced. “I really preferred the work of extracting the raw stuff from the spring. It was really hard and labor intensive but at least it wasn’t slime.”

Isaac found himself grinning. “I was much the same with the cows. I detested mucking out the barn, so much so that I would prefer to do twice my share of the milking. That was dull work, but at least I could plan out blueprints for my projects in my head while I worked.”

Bulkhead found himself humming softly. “I liked the farm. I would have been happy there, I think. But…”

“It wasn’t what you wanted to do with your life.”

He grinned. “Yeah.” he paused. “I do miss the songs, though. And my brother, though Breakdown is probably annoyed that I missed so many calls. I miss my creators too.” he frowned. “I hope they don’t think I’ve offlined. I was in stasis for a while.”

Isaac softened, sighing and feeling something fond well up in his chest. “I’m sure they held out hope. Speaking as a parent…well, I don’t think I’d ever stop hoping if Sari were to go missing.”

Bulkhead glanced up, then smiled faintly. “Thanks, Professor.”

“You mentioned something about songs?” he asked with a smile in return, hoping to shift to topic in order to cheer up the green bot.

“Yeah!” Bulkhead brightened. “My creators had old songs that were passed down from their creators, and that they taught us. Whenever we were all working together we’d sing!” he seemed fond as he recalled the memories. “It was always really nice. When we were singing, I almost wouldn’t mind cleaning duty.” he shuddered. “Almost.”

Isaac barked a laugh. “I see! My family never had any songs, but we had recipes we shared and cooked together. We would all make dinner together after a hard day’s work. Those were my favorite moments of the day.” he sighed.

“Your parents must be proud of how far you’ve come.” Bulkhead mused.

Isaac smiled sadly. “They’re dead, Bulkhead.”

“Oh…” he reset his vocalizer. “I’m sorry.”

The human sighed. “It is alright. I have had time to mourn and grieve. And you are right. They were very proud. My father was proud even when I left the farm. He was happy to see me trying to pursue a better life. My mother was disappointed that I would not carry on the family legacy.” he sighed and tilted his head up. “But she did come to terms with it. In the end, she was happy for me and proud of all I’d accomplished.” He glanced at the Autobot, considering. “I own the farm now, though I no longer work there and I have far fewer cows. One of my cousins stays there when I am not to take care of the few cows there are, and I return with Sari during holidays sometimes.” he shot Bulkhead a warm grin. “In fact, I was going to bring her there again for the upcoming Fourth of July. Perhaps…you would like to come as well? I can show you life on a human farm in person.” he offered.

Bulkhead almost seemed to vibrate with glee at the prospect. “I’d like that a lot, Professor! And hey, if you’re ever on Cybertron, I’ll show you may farm!” he said brightly.

Isaac laughed, loud and free. He doubted that he’d ever see the alien planet, but the sentiment was still very nice. “I’d like that very much, Bulkhead. Thank you.”

Just then, he heard the sound of approaching engines, and when he looked towards the door he realized he could see the sun setting. Goodness, he and Bulkhead had been talking for hours. As the other bots stopped and transformed, Sari hopped out of Bumblebee before he did so and froze when she saw her father.

“Uh, hiiiiii, dad!” she squeaked.

Isaac sighed. “Sari, you should have told me where you were going! I was worried about you!” he scolded. “Come, we’re returning home. It’s getting late and I have the feeling you haven’t had proper food all day.” he said.

“But dad-!”

“No buts! The car is outside. Go, please.”

She groaned and grumbled, but after a quick goodbye to the others she obeyed.

Isaac turned to Bulkhead, smiling. “Thank you for taking the time to talk to me, Bulkhead. I enjoyed it.”

Bulkhead, for his part, merely beamed in response. “You’re welcome! I had a lot of fun! It was great to learn more about you, Professor Sumdac!”

Isaac smiled. “Please, Bulkhead. You can call me Isaac.” he said warmly.

The Autobot blinked a few times, and before smiling even more brightly. “Right. Isaac.”

Isaac grinned in response. The young bot’s joy was positively infectious. “I would enjoy talking further another time, Bulkhead. For now, I must take my leave. Goodnight!” he said, before walking out the door.

Bulkhead waved. “Goodnight, Isaac!” he called.

When the sounds of the human car had faded into nothing, Bulkhead turned to find everyone else staring at him. He smiled at his teammates, standing from his seat. “Hey guys! Did you have a good day?” he asked. Then he realized he had forgotten his painting. “Awe, scrap. You can tell me about it later! I have to go!” And then he was gone, hurrying to see if his art couldn’t be saved.

Even if it couldn’t, he didn’t mind. He’d gained a new friend today, and that was worth a thousand paintings in his optics.

Back in the main room, Bumblee could only stare after his friend. “Uhhh…what was that all about?”

———————————————————————————————————

And there it is! I hope you liked it! I gave Bulkhead a family because I wanted to, and yes his big brother is Breakdown. That means his brother-in-law is Knock Out. Ratchet is horrified when he learns this. Roadbuster and Beachcomber are very worried for their youngest. They were told he’s dead but like Isaac said, a parent never stops hoping. The team is currently very confused about what they just witnessed.

Also, poor Ratchet. Sari will never let go of her blackmail on him. How does a child get blackmail on a millions-of-years-old giant alien robot? It’s Sari. You could tell me she convinced Megatron to agree to peace purely by annoying him and I’d believe you. I love her. :D Anyway.

Until next time, folks!

[meetevieinthehallway]

just harry.

in which harry is a prince but craves normalcy.

this is all insane.

insane: a word only used for the outcasts of this god forsaken kingdom—god bless the king and queen!—that were deranged enough to be put away and imprisoned within their rights and their own minds.

harry grew up believing he was one of the insane. because the insane were shipped away for having qualities deemed too different to be socially acceptable, so much so that they were deemed inhumane: locked away for life and considered a danger to society.

it’s insane for someone to ponder outside the realm of the king’s religion and it’s insane to visit a neighboring kingdom and it’s fucking insane for you to not bow and break your spine and bruise your knees and hands for those who sit upon the throne.

all they did was think a little differently— all they did was not conform.

and there was always something different about harry—something nonconforming—that he couldn’t place his finger on.

nobody could. and that was a problem.

he was different— would prance around the palace singing and humming and proclaiming he wanted to be a florist or painter with cherub cheeks and messy curls and a twinkling in his eyes.

and apparently, that was enough of a danger to the kingdom—to the king—when he would eventually take the throne.

i’m going to leave my kingdom behind to what? music and flowers and— something disgusting? you’re soft, harry. you’re an ungrateful brat who needs to grow some skin, and be a man.

but how could he grow more skin when it was whipped off in sections across his back?

too soft too soft too soft, it was always the same tirade from his father and harry didn’t comprehend why his love for music and art and animals was considered as a thing of abnormality.

of insanity.

and as a boy, harry didn’t understand. he had no concept of his role in this god forsaken kingdom, or how embarrassing it was to the king that his son embodied some form of anything than what his father wanted. he wasn’t enough to his father, never would be, never could be.

all he was enough of was dangerous: to everything about his family and their place in the world.  

dangerous enough to where he was locked away from being himself and a burden on the reputation of his family.

i didn’t raise you this way. you are not my son.

a burden. that’s what he was.

a burden as burdening as the crown that laid upon his head by the time he was four— the one that bent his neck out of shape and twisted the bone structure of his back and his ribcage and with enough gold and silver to blind him when he looked at himself in the mirror.

every time he looked in the mirror he didn’t recognize himself.

this wasn’t him— this poised, royal, locked away self was not him.

a crafted crown fit for a prince like his crafted self— leaving certain parts in, eliminating others, because all he was to be was a beautiful, groomed, shiny exterior that his people gawk at— something that they lower their eyes to.

why look at the empty hole in the middle of the crown when the jades and rubies glisten? the ones that show the strength of his status?

the only jades that never held entitlement and refinement are harry’s eyes—but only if you bothered to look close enough—that hardened as he aged. twinkling eyes turned to crushed, broken jades sorrily held together, like how the impossibly stoic stone imprisoned the sword.

he was helplessly imprisoned from the inside and out.

harry had known to imprison his own feelings at a very early age. although he was a burden, it was never showcased, only forced to be repressed and repressed and every “negative” deep into the core of his being was grounded him so intensely that he was stuck. always fucking stuck somewhere he didn’t want to be— in this stupid crown and cape or at the royal table or in the presence of the people or his father or—

no.

repress the feelings like we oppress the insane and the people of this kingdom who are just the peasants we look down upon—

the crown he wears is not much heavier than his tears.  

you are to rule with an iron fist, boy. what good will compassion do for these people?

maybe his crown was heavy in accordance with the weight pressing down on his shoulders.

harry was called insane for disliking war and dominance and carrying no respect for his father—the fucking king of this stupid fucking kingdom—

and the insane are kept locked away until some other bullshit authority takes them out and away and he is really just a burden— trapped in his own lonely swirling head and becoming dizzy with the thoughts of wanting to flee and escape this all or cry or— or die— 

i-i’d be free.. wouldn’t i? and wouldn’t my father be happier?

but although his despair held enough strength of its own to pull the sword out of the stone like the legend itself— he was never brave enough to plunge it into his chest.

maybe he was too soft. too pitiful for his own good. 

harry has come to believe in past lives.

he isn’t sure exactly where or when the idea formulated among the chaos in his mind, but he believes—he hopes—that past and future lives are real.

he knows they are; they have to be. he prays they are.

(that’s why he’s always been tempted to die at his own hand— take some control and be the one to send his soul into a new life already.)

he has always considered himself an old soul, deja-vu common but disheartening, and he never rationalizes why— other for the reason that he must have an older life still lingering in his body.

maybe that’s why he feels so out of place in this lifetime.

another book was probably crammed down his throat at some point in his suffocating youth— one with the idea of rebirth and reincarnation and how the soul is separate from the body so much so that it keeps moving when the physicality of a person dies— probably from some philosophy, some theological text—some middle-age epic poem that clogged his lungs with dust and imbibed pages of bullshit in his head.

even though he didn’t know where or when this thought came into his head, he sure knew why it did.

there isn’t a possibility that he hasn’t lived a different life before this time.

and he dreamed for the truth of it.

there is a taste of normalcy dancing along the tip of his tongue and the edge of his fingertips— too far in reach to fully grasp and be absorbed into. he’s met other princes and nobles and duchesses and queens— he’s met the love they have for their titles and status and it creates a film in his mouth he wants to spit out for hours. those people would rather die than live a normal, commoner life— wouldn’t he be that way too if there wasn’t some part of him holding him back?  

between the mess of words and allegories and praises within the books he read and the poems he penned endlessly—the ones he’s hid from his father—something about the idea of multiple lives lived by the same soul stuck with him.

he wanted to be normal. common. he dreamed of it.

and if there was a chance his soul could be at some point, harry would leave this life soon. or at this point, at least suffer through this one for the hope of the next.

he hoped and he prayed and he dreamed for the sake of his sad, locked away soul that it would get to live a life at some point.

this wasn’t a life— he’s never had one.

harry saw for himself the way kids his age ran and shouted and chased each another when he traveled into the cities or the countryside, and he longs for it— the normalcy of it all— the beauty and simplicity and bliss.

he remembers reading about god when locked into the library for the day after he saw those children—tears dripping off his nose and splatting on worn pages and he’s sniffling at the words and he wonders when he will see god, for real. he wants to—needs to—see if there’s a purpose for him, for this life. if there is a god, he wouldn’t do this to him— make him fall to his knees and to his feet for a life so foreign to him, but familiar to his soul.

god, if you’re there, just fucking take me now, please.

but god didn’t answer.

maybe he was even burdening to god.

and harry wiped his tears and what was left of his heart had dissipated. 

but then, an angel was sent to him.

he doesn’t remember the exact emotions he felt when he first saw her, but he knows that he believed his heart to reconstruct itself.

since his fingertips couldn’t grasp the normal life dangling in front of him, he was brushing them against the rose petals as he walked through the gardens. he liked how they felt against his skin— soft and pliant and delicate and this is why he liked june.

for the color. the feelings.

the feel of warmth from the sun on his cheek and the breeze through his hair and the gentleness of his humming swirling around him. the feelings of being lost and being free and being one with nature.

not that he could voice that.

but the older he grew the less his father scolded him— it was embedded in the both of them and the scars on harry’s skin that he was the way he was. it was easier when he pretended to be alike his father in front of the public— in private he could be what he wanted.

that’s why he roamed the gardens at sunrise— nobody would find him here and nobody would correct his lack of being proper.

or at least he thought nobody was there.

“ow! silly thing— was trying to be nice!”

harry had jumped when he heard the gentle voice— and although he couldn’t see who it came from, there was an annoyance in the tone that caught him off guard and dragged his vision towards a rosebush. his eyebrows dropped over his eyes in confusion, and he released the petal between his fingers and moved slowly towards the voice, which was still mumbling in disgruntlement.

and he’s walking towards the sound and thinking about who else would be here at sunrise—“um.. hello?” and he was responded with a gasp—and he’s walking around the bush and he—

he sees eyes.

beautiful, beautiful eyes.

and he thinks he may have finally died because he forgets how to breathe.

they’re glistening up at him, wide and bright and unmoving and he doesn’t know how his expression looked because he was so lost.

so incredibly lost in those eyes.

her lips are parted and his eyebrows raise and he’s staring down at her and the wind blows at the hair draped across her neck.

and it’s silent for a long moment that he can hear the bees buzzing.

“y-you… your highness i-i am so- … so sorry please forgive me i—”

he’s shaking his head as she looks down at her knees and she’s rambling and spewing apologies and bowing low to the ground and he can see her start to literally tremble and he’s so enamored and confused.

“are you alright?”

it cuts her off. i shouldn’t have spoken unless he did first. she sits up again and she’s still looking down in respect and he hates that he can’t see her eyes anymore. she’s silent and still.

“miss? are you okay?”

she sputters. she bows her head lower if that was possible and he slowly crouches so he’s at her eye level. and then he lowers completely and he sits next to her on the grass of the gardens, running a hand through his hair and she’s still shaking and she’s so confused. why is he stooping to a commoner’s level— i’m no ‘miss’—

“i-i’m so sorry, your highness i-i—..”

“miss?”

she sputters again.

“please look at me.”

she chokes but keeps it in the back of her throat. he wants me to look at him? is it so he can get a better description of my face for when he reports me o-or has me killed—

“you can look at me. it’s not a crime.” there’s a softness to his voice and she doesn’t understand why she isn’t being scolded or condemned or imprisoned at this point.

“.. your majesty..—”

“this is no trick, can you… will you please look at me?”

and her eyes flicker up hesitantly, her head still slightly bowed and she meets his eyes again. and she falls in his gaze and he melts in her’s.

and she realizes how utterly beautiful he is. she’s only ever seen him from afar— but up close his lips and skin are smooth and soft and his eyes… they look—… kind.

“there you are.” he gives her a small smile. “beautiful eyes, you have.”

she’s beautiful. prettier than any rose he’s ever seen and he wants to fiddle with her lips between his fingertips and slot them between his own.

“can i ask what you’re doing?” he murmurs, keeping his voice soft and she shivers under his gaze and his low voice.

“i was just… trying to…—” her eyes move in front of her lap and harry sees that there’s one of the garden rabbits in between her and the bush. he chuckles softly.

“tryin’ to pet him? they can be fiesty little buggers sometimes.”

but he leans over and scoops the bunny up easily and holds him to his chest, petting between his ears with his fingers and moving his eyes back to hers.

she’s in awe; she blinks and looks away, shifting in her position.

“you’re timothy’s daughter, no?”

she blinks at him again, nodding slowly, tentatively. how would he know the palace gardener by name? is he mad? will he tell father—

he grins. “like a friend to me, your father. he used to bring your brother around when i was younger too.” he’s still petting the bunny and she’s in awe. “used to play with him. jack, yes?”

she nods again.

“mm. used to help them plant tulips when my father wasn’t here.”

she wonders why her father never told her about him— how different he seemed than his father. she only looks down at her lap and fiddles with her fingers.

“you’re awfully quiet. think this little thing is louder than you, love.” harry smirks at her.

love.

he calls her love.

she blushes when she hears it and can’t help but crack a small smile. she tucks a piece of hair behind her ear and chews on the inside of her cheek in apprehension.

“what is your name?”

so she tells him softly— as calm and gentle as the morning breeze and the sun is just beginning to peek out and illuminate her skin.

and with a smile, he takes the bunny and places it on her lap.

her fingers move to nestle between its ears and she smiles softly.

and then his touch melds with hers.

because he takes her other hand in between his two and lifts it to his lips. and he kisses her skin once as if she were royalty, and her lips part as his do from her hand.

“i’m harry. just.. just harry.”

—

that was when they were eighteen.

they fall in love so deeply and so quickly—of course they do—and harry knew he would fall in love with her the moment he saw her and he detests god for not sending her to him sooner.

but he lets it slide.

because she loves and cares for him so wholeheartedly that harry’s frozen and broken heart has thawed in his chest and his stoic eyes have softened.

everyone can see it— but nobody could put their finger on what had happened to the sad little boy that was whipped into refinement for so long. the palace workers are shaking their heads at him fondly again, murmuring how he seems to be back in the clouds and it’s become normalized again by the time he’s twenty-three. he’s asking for paints and instruments and spends hours writing poetry and he feels like himself.

harry feels bliss.

pure blissfulness and it’s all from falling in love with the pretty girl in the garden who loves him authentically. not for his title— not for his riches— just him. just harry.

his flower, his rose, his pretty love who he calls his and identifies himself within parts of her.

he finds solace in her touch and sees her glowing cheeks in the sunsets and he wants to wrap himself in her heart.

he writes her poems and songs and paints her face and eyes and lips and she gets emotional when he does— kissing him endlessly and murmuring how in love she is with him and he can’t help but grin into her skin.

he says it back with a fire in his eyes and he could drop dead from her smile shining his way.

he’s happy. he’s so utterly and unbelievably happy.

even though it’s all a secret.

as much as he wants to shout from every rooftop and into every face of his royal family— she is his, the one thing he has that is his, the thing he cherishes most. and it’s not that she’s a dirty little secret— he just loves that he feels ultimately comfortable and normal around her; he doesn’t need to act.

she’s the taste of love and happiness and normalcy he’s begged and prayed for for all these years.

his fingers are lost in her hair and skimming along her body and he soaks in her smiles and her laughs like they’re rays of sunshine and he could spend the rest of his days basking in her presence. he sneaks out to watch the stars with her in the countryside and they dance in the pouring rain and they bask in the sunrises that appear bright above the kingdom’s horizon. he’s had dinner with her family in their small cottage at the late hours of the night— feeling like he belongs to a family. they’re the only ones who know— kind enough to treat him as their own and allow him to stay the nights or cry on their shoulders when it’s been particularly hard.

he’s attained the normalcy he’s always craved— and it’s all because he’s fallen in love with his flower.

“you’re the love of my life, y’know.”

she whispers it into the space between them in her bed, fingers caressing his bare chest while harry drifts in the floaty space between being asleep and awake. he hums, low in his throat and he feels her lips sponge on his neck.

he shivers.

“and you are mine.” he murmurs, and she’s smiling into his skin and nipping at it softly.

she sits up, rubbing at her eye as he stares up at her from his place on his back. her hand then finds the top of his head, rubbing through his curls and he could easily forget everything and drift back asleep. her sheer curtains let the light pass through from her window and the golden hue that falls on her skin makes him want to kiss every inch of her.

“want to take a bath, love?” she asks softly, watching his eyes flutter.

and he sighs, “can’t. have to be back before they notice i’m gone.”

she frowns, “stay? just a little longer?” she whispers.

“hey,” he speaks softly, eyes opening to see her lip trapped between her teeth. “promise you we won’t have to cut our time short anymore. soon, okay?” he stares at her intently, sending his promise through the sharpness of his eyes.

she nods, looking down. but her hand falls away from his hair.

she’s used to the sinking feeling in her stomach but that doesn’t make it feel any better. she’s sad— it’s easy to tell. she wants to love him openly and outwardly— paint each other in the garden and kiss and dance in the ballroom without being questioned or scrutinized. she hates that it makes her upset—she doesn’t need validation or the attention of being the prince’s new woman! (only ever woman, actually)—but she gets paranoid that he’s ashamed of her. no matter the countless times he’s assured her of the exact opposite or the endless evidence of his character that he doesn’t care about that stuff, it still pangs her insecurities and she finds her reflection judging herself.

she wishes she was poised and elegant and proper and beautiful and enough— enough to where harry could be seen as fitting with her.

but she has dirt under her nails and messy wild hair and it hurts her every time he leaves or every time he smiles at her from his balcony while she’s helping her father tend the garden. seeing him so high up only reminds her of the distance and the difference of who they are.

she wishes his parents could be proud of him and of who he loves.

she also knows that that will never happen.

“love?” he murmurs, his hand finding hers, “upset with me, are you?”

she shakes her head and meets his eyes. “just wish it was different.” she shrugs.

he nods, “yeah.”

“wish i was born into royalty or something—” she takes her hand away from his and tears spring to her eyes. “then i’d get to have you.”

“hey.” he frowns, “you do have me.”

her laugh is mixed with a small sob as she doesn’t meet his eyes.

harry reaches for her touch again, cupping her cheek and turning her face.

“all of me.”

he’s looking at her intently but it’s silent and his heart twitches because there’s something there. she’s holding something— holding something back and away from him and he can tell.

he furrows his eyebrows. “what is it?”

she shakes her head, eyes fluttering around her room and her face falling away from his touch— she’s studying the size of her room, how everything is cramped and small and how everything isn’t as grand as he is.

“i know when you aren’t telling me something.”

she looks at him, chin trembling and he falters at the sheer emotion she’s showing.

“it’s nothing, harry.” she whispers.

“love.” 

her lip trembles. you have to tell him.

“what’s going on?”

she meets his eyes.

they’re piercing and confused and she hates that this may be the last time she’ll be able to see them like this.

“they’re marrying you off.” she whispers.

and it’s silent.

she sighs and a sob forces its way out and he’s quiet.

he doesn’t look mad or upset— she doesn’t know what he’s thinking or feeling and so she has to look away. there’s a sudden coldness in the room.  

“what d’you mean.” he doesn’t ask, he states, his voice monotone.

she wipes her cheek.

“dad overheard. they... your parents know.”

“...they know..?”

“they know you’re in love with someone they wouldn’t approve of.” she smiles sadly at her ceiling, wishing her tears would soak back into her. she sniffles, “just didn’t say that it is me. said a guard caught you leaving and they found some of your poems.”

he’s shaking. harry’s hands are shaking and he fumbles to hold hers.

“dad told me last night after you fell asleep.”

he swallows.

and then she speaks quieter than he’s ever heard. “i have to leave.”

his heart drops.

“...l-leave?”

she meets his eyes and there’s tears welled at his waterline and she hates that she’s put them there.

“your parents want me dead.” her hand squeezes his. “they’ve.. started investigating who you’ve been seeing all this time. want her dead o-or.. gone before they marry you off to the princess a few kingdoms over.”

and then her lips tremble.

“... i think they intentionally said it so casually—outwardly—in the garden because.. they knew dad would be there. t-they—”

he’s shaking his head because he knows what she’s going to say.

“i think they know it’s me, harry.”

“n-no.. but they can’t do that—”

“you know they can.”

“i-i.. i won’t let anyone hurt you. especially not them.” he swallows. “you… you know that.”

“i know. but that’s not...—” she shrugs. 

it’s not enough.

his tears have started to fall.

“you can’t leave.”

she knows he’s not talking about the kingdom.

her hand touches his cheek.

“i was never enough for you anyways.” she cries.

“don’t say that—”

“i’m not who you should be with.”

“that’s not true—”

“you deserve to be happy a-and… this is who you are. you’re meant to be ruling a kingdom and not with some commoner girl who—”

“stop.” he sobs, and he’s leaning into her touch and grasping at her hands and any other part of her he can. he’s losing her through his own hands.

he’s shaking and crying into her open palm and she’s holding everything back because it really is just not enough. she wants to wrap him in her arms but she knows that that will make this so much harder.

“i’m happy with you and not in my role. you know that.” he’s saying it around a bite of frustration.

he stutters for a moment but can only sob, and he holds her wrist and starts desperately kissing at her fingers and her palm and her wrist and her arm, and she’s sobbing into her own lap. he’s hiccuping and muttering pleas into her skin and it’s undeniably pathetic of him.

“don’t leave me. please don’t i-i—...” he’s begging. 

but he knows his own father would have her executed without blinking.

“harry.” she says his name like a mantra and his forehead is pressed to her knuckles. “you know i’d die for you. you know that but— i can’t have you dying for me.”

“that isn’t fair.”

“i know, i-i.. i know.”

harry’s throat is burning and he’s trying so hard to think. his head is swirling and hot and he can’t find a way out of this fog that’s trapping him in this fucking nightmare. 

he can’t do this— god he really can’t.

this is worse than a knife to his chest and this is more troubling than the thoughts that contemplated his own existence and this is all blinding him— cutting off his senses. he can’t lose her. he wants to bring her in front of his father and mother and give them an ultimatum— but he knows that wouldn’t work— either way she is endangered because of him and—

“i’m sorry.”

he meets her eyes, his two hands holding her one. 

then he lets it fall to her bedding, and his eyes follow in shame.

“this is all my fault.”

“h...”

“who i am is the fault of this all.” his tone is stoic and unwavering.

“you know that’s extreme, harry.”

“is it?”

his love swallows.

“where will you go? will you be safe?” he’s asking her without looking at her, a wave of desperation coaxing through the monotony of his voice.

she nods, “i’ll be a few kingdoms over.”

harry pauses. he bites on the inner part of his lip and shakes his head. “what if… what if i talk to them, huh? get them to-to.. to see and.. understand and—” she’s shaking her head and he swallows and he wishes he never lifted his gaze. “i-i was going to talk to them eventually, love, i-i…” harry sighs. “planned on marrying you soon, anyways.”

her eyes lift to his slowly and her lips part, “really?”

“i told you that you have all of me.” he looks down on her ring finger, “just wanted to make it official.”

her mouth is dry and coated in shock and she doesn’t know what to do. she looks at him desperately.

“love.” he then says seriously, and she nods slowly. “i-... there’s a small cottage in Pratetus. you know where that is, yes?”

she nods again, confused and trembling and her eyebrows are hovering over her eyes.

“used to belong to one of my nurses before she passed. told me it was mine when she died. i want you to go there.”

“harry—”

“listen.” 

she does.

“it will take a few days travel. i will give the directions to your father so he can take you safely. go there. nobody will find you there.”

she swallows.

“okay?”

“i- okay.”

“promise me.”

“...i promise.” she whispers. 

his authoritative voice fades into a softer one. “i will return to the palace to pack my things and then i will meet you there.”

she jumps. “meet me there?! what?..—”

“i’ll grab riches and jewels and we will live there, together.”

she’s staring at him incredulously.

“harry—”

“we-..we will sell the riches and live off the land.” and he’s smiling now. it’s sad, and cracking and watery but he’s finally looking at her again. “can get married. properly. change m’name or something. a-and we can have kids, like you’ve always said. and animals and—...” his eyes are shining. “we’ll live happily, yeah? together and happily, and we’ll be safe.”

“harry, no.” she breathes. “i will not let you give up your life for me.”

“you know my life is one i’ve never wanted.”

“i—”

“you know that better than anyone. i am not leaving anything behind. i will not be leaving behind a life of happiness, and i am not leaving you behind to pursue my title.” he says it sternly. “i am not going to lose you. i cannot and will not lose you.”

she’s hesitant. her eyes drift away and suddenly his shirt on her body is making her hot. she stands up and off the bed, pacing a few steps as her hands come to rub her face. 

it’s quiet.

harry panics. 

“do you not wish the same?” he whispers, deducing her hesitancy to to an answer that will break him. “it.. it’s okay if you...— do you not want that?”

“of course i want that— you, harry!” she says it incredulously, her hands falling from her face. he’s staring at her from his place on her bed, crestfallen and desperate and she’s never seen him this small. 

“i..i couldn’t ask that of you— couldn’t live that life knowing you gave up your other one.”

“but i’d finally get to have you.” he says it sadly and quietly. “you’ve had all of me, but i’ve been... trapped in this all. i don’t have all of you and not because you won’t give yourself to me.” he murmurs. “it’s because i have failed to commit to sacrificing privileges for what i truly want— and out of fear. i am a coward, and have always been.” he shakes his head at her and she feels a tear fall down her chin.

“but i am no longer afraid. i will give up anything i have if it means that i would be free and with you and i’d get to live with you in the way i’ve always wanted. we could live and.. and build our own garden.”

she can see his eyes longing for her.

“let’s live what we’ve talked endlessly about. i’ll beg you if i must.”

she sniffs and her chin trembles.

“please. i know it’s selfish. i know. b-but...”

another tear escapes and falls to her jaw as it clenches. she moves forward and sits back down on her bed, and takes his hands. 

“i want you, too. we’re both selfish.” she whispers. “just me and you?” 

his smile is watery and happy, “you and me.” he affirms. 

and harry’s love nods slowly.

“yes?”

she sobs in mix with her emotional laugh, nodding faster before launching herself at him and wrapping her arms around his neck. her face lands on his shoulder and her tears splat against his bare skin as she squeezes him tight.

“yes.”

—

“what do you mean you’re leaving? what is this nonsense, harry.”

he looks his father in the eyes. “you’re in my way,” is all he says, brushing past him and grasping for his paints that he was standing in front of.

“harry! i’ve asked you a question.”

“and i believe you know the answer.”

harry’s eyes match his father’s with the malice they carry. harry is challenging him in his expression, looking at him with disgust and carelessness. he was always told he carries a resemblance to his father. 

“should’ve done this a long time ago. saved the family from some embarrassment, no?” harry quips at him with sarcasm and his father has nothing to do but glare. “you really don’t know what love is, in any capacity. do you?” he asks, laughing in incredulousness. “you didn’t marry mother out of love, nor were gemma and i conceived out of love. and you still never loved any of us in life, especially me.” harry’s laughing at this sick joke of his father and the older man steps closer to him.

“you really haven’t matured at all, son.”

“oh, really?” he’s fake pouting, finding this all too amusing.

“knew you would never be a man; i guess my lessons didn’t teach you enough.”

“maybe you’re just a prick.”

“excuse me?”

“i said it quite clearly. you were the one who did teach me to stop mumbling.” harry walks to the other side of the room to continue packing. 

“you’re making a fool of yourself.” his father speaks again after a long pause. 

“learnt from the best!”

“harry—”

“guess your ‘lessons’ weren’t all too bad, hm?”

harry’s heart is pounding with adrenaline and freedom. all the quick wit and i’m-sick-of-your-shit feelings are pouring out of him, having flooded his insides for far too long. 

“why am i a fool, father? because i’ve put up with you for this long?... or—”

“you are a disgrace to the royal name.”

“guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”

“enough!”

harry did shut up at his father’s yell, but not without a sick grin plastered on his face.

the tension in the room pulses.

“father.” he speaks again, half-laughing. “i’m happy and in love, and i can’t live the rest of my life not being with her.”

the king’s face reddens. “you have a duty to this kingdom.”

harry throws his bag to his feet and points a finger towards his father. “as if you would ever let me rule. we all know the crown will go to gemma.”

“maybe it’s because you’re weak. weak as a son, a prince, a man. have you ever thought of that?”

“how could i forget with you telling me since i wasn’t even a man!?” he laughs.

his father falls silent because he truly doesn’t know what to say. so instead, harry speaks again.

“i know you hate me.” he says, “and i’ve long accepted that. but..” he looks at him intensely, “you hate me so much that.. that you won’t let me be happy? you genuinely wish for me to live miserably? i am still your family.”

the king breathes out. “it is not that—...”

“then what is it?”

silence again. because the king still doesn’t have an answer.

harry bends down and grabs his bag again, and then stands tall. “you’ve made my life hell, for fun?” 

“i was making you into a man who could hold authority.”

“just like you, i bet.”

his father grins evilly. “yes.”

“well look at me now” harry grins. “i’m leaving, and nobody can tell me otherwise, especially you.” 

harry starts to walk towards and out the door where his father is standing in front of, but the king’s gruff hand hits harry’s chest with a thud. harry looks down, unimpressed. and his father’s eyes narrow.

“and you think you’ll make it out of here?”

harry’s eyebrows lift as he brushes his hand off. “is that a challenge?”

the king’s face hardens.

harry grins.

“guards!”

and that’s when harry’s smile cracks.

—

he’s taking a day longer than he said it would.

she’s worried.

the sun has long set and the fire has been roaring with heat for hours, and is now only charcoal and ashes. the crickets have began to sing, and she can’t help but decide that it sounds incredibly solemn.

it doesn’t help her nerves one bit.

she’s been pacing for hours across the floor of the cottage, giving up on trying to distract herself by putting things away or cooking dinner for her and her father and harry, as she had hoped.

and yet, despite her hopes, the third plate at the table was untouched and cold and none of this is helping her nerves.

“honey, he’ll be here.” her father has been trying to soothe her for the hours he’s been late. internally, he’s just as worried— harry was like another son to him and he’s concerned that something terrible is keeping him from being here— not that he’d ever voice that.

“dad, i—...” she chews her lip and turns towards him, “what if he’s hurt? we’re so far away and..” her mind starts to wander dangerously. “what if he’s been imprisoned? you know how cruel the king can be!..—”

“he wouldn’t want you to stress in this way. he’ll be here. something is just holding him up.”

“yes! maybe chains at this point!”

her father sighs and leans back in his chair. he needs to get back to the kingdom soon, or people will grow suspicious. but he won’t leave his daughter when she is distraught.

“it took us three days to get here and he planned to leave a day after we have and it is now creeping into the fifth day and—”

“it’s late. you should rest.”

“i will not until he arrives. i need to know he is safe and—” she trails off, biting her lip. “if he isn’t here in one more day i am going back.”

“you can never show your face in that kingdom again.”

“i don’t care. i need to find him—”

“you’ll be killed for treason if you go back!”

“better me than him!’ 

the door creaks.

the tension and volume in the room drop to silence, and her eyes lift to the door, as do her father’s.

boots hit the entrance’s floor with a soft thud and the door is pushed open more.

and he’s there. and she can breathe.

he’s bruised and bloodied and there’s sword cuts littering his body, but he’s grinning.

“oh.. oh god, harry,” she rushes to him and holds his face, and he’s smirking in glory and pride.

“y’still love me if i’ve hurt people?” he laughs. “he surrendered after i defeated fourteen of his guards. even helped me load my things.”

she laughs sadly, and her eyes are watery as they scan the wounds on his figure.

“harry.. i— let’s get you fed a-and.. and cleaned up—”

“one thing first.”

harry’s eyes shift and fall to her father’s face, who is just as relieved to see him as she is. harry’s hand falls to her stomach, silently telling her it’s okay, and he stumbles towards him grinning, the older man placing a hand on his shoulder to steady him.

“sir,” he grins mischievously, “my name is harry.”

her father quirks an eyebrow but is smiling simultaneously. “...yes?”

“i come from days away and am exhausted from my journey,” harry says softly, his smile creeping towards his eyes, “i’ve come because i am so in love with your daughter, as she is my light and makes me so incredibly happy.”

her tears drip to the cottage floor but she rolls her eyes fondly.

“do i have your blessing to offer her my hand in marriage? will you let her marry a lowly man like myself?”

timothy chuckles loudly, laughing with his belly and throat and with his eyes shining he nods towards his daughter. “gonna take care of her?”

“with my whole being, sir.”

“eh, a low-life like yourself? hm... think she may be able to do better--”

“you both are idiots.”

and harry’s laugh get mixed into her kiss.

[bangtansmau]

midnight memories

pairing: kim taehyung x you

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summary: you moved in to a new apartment because you couldn't live another day with a noisy neighbor. to your luck, your balcony faced another apartment's balcony from the building next door and he also is infamous for making sounds. however, you can't seem to care when the noise is actually from a nice violin and the player himself is also nice-looking. 

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track 6: don't forget where you belong

she was the last person he wanted to see standing behind his door.

taehyung’s eyebrows furrowed at the sight of his former muse that still held the same smirk and the glint of mischief in her eyes. her clothes looked like she just came from a club and his nose twitched when the faint scent of booze permeated the air.

“minji, what are you doing here?”

his icy tone made her pout and she leaned against the doorframe and crossed her arms.

“is that how you call me now, taetae?”

the nickname made him flinch and she grinned.

“come on, taetae. can you let a girl in? you don’t want me to stay in the streets, do you?”

everything in him screamed to refuse but he wasn’t given a chance to answer as she already barged her way in through his door. 

“you belong in the streets”

he mumbled but she didn’t seem to hear it.

minji stood at the end of the hallway, surveying the whole room and her nose crinkled at the sheer size of it.

“you really stay in this shed, tae? you could do so much better”

she chided but taehyung ignored her and grabbed her arm to face him. his eyes were no longer warm and inviting- rather, cold and upset.

“what the hell do you want, minji? why did you come all the way here? how did you even know my address?”

she rolled her eyes as if the answer was so obvious that he should know. but he didnt, a sharp stare boring straight to her face.

“i have friends everywhere, tae. and i just wanted to see you, since it’s been so long”

her manicured hand travelled to his shoulder and was about to rub his shirt when he swatted it away. taehyung exuded an aura of anger and he clenched his jaw.

“i don’t want to see you nor do i want to do anything with you. now get the fuck out of my home or so help me God”

but the threat didn’t faze her. minji reverted to her true colors, the mischief being replaced by malice and her lips curled into a sneer.

“don’t forget who i am, taehyung. i could ruin your reputation here just like i did at home but surely, you don’t want me to, right? you don’t want to be looked at like that here too, right?”

the faux sympathy annoyed him and he chuckled humorlessly. of course she would threaten him with that. she was what chased him away from his home and everything he knew towards a family friend who graciously accepted him to live with them in the city.

the city where he would have a fresh start. 

“it’s nearly been 2 years. you’re still holding on to that?”

he looked off to the side to contain himself then looked back at her with a harsh glare.

“you may have friends and connections in daegu that could believe you and every lie you could spout off. but here? this is my territory. they know nothing about you, or my life back then so they won’t believe you if you spread them. besides, you’re the only one in them. would they think it was me who took the photos in the first place?”

he was right.

she knew he was right.

the explicit photos he consensually took of her were what ruined his image at the small town but in the big city, no one would bat an eyelash. and no one knew who lee minji was. compared to their rural home where everyone knew everybody to the capital of the country, she was just another person living in this city like the other millions. taehyung has been here for nearing 2 years now, making friends and connections from the middle of his senior year to current. he has an upper-hand than her and even if she tried to blame and point fingers at him, the photos only showed her face and none of who was behind the camera- him.

taehyung laughed at her defeated face and was about to go on when his phone rang. minji watched her former lover pick up the phone with a bright smile and answered happily. 

“okay. yea, sure. i’ll be there. on my way now”

when he hung up, his face shifted to the same coldness from before and tears welled up in her eyes. not from sadness, but from frustration. that she no longer holds a threat over his head and he was finally free from her.

tae paused for a second, then sighed.

“this is the last time you’ll ever hear or see from me again. if you come back, i will release the videos of you, like you did to me. i could’ve done it immediately after you leaked it but i had a feeling i needed to wait. and i was right. so try something again, i’ll really destroy you. both in seoul, and daegu.”

minji gulped and harshly pulled away from his grasp to cradle it close to her and glaring hatefully at him.

“i hate you, kim taehyung”

he chuckled.

“sure you do. now, i have to go somewhere. i’ll go first but don’t even think about looking for anything because i have nothing in here. i really shouldn’t be this nice but i’d feel bad kicking you out when you stink like the combination of a beaver’s ass and puke. so go take a shower and leave when you’re done. and your clothes? use my robe and go. it would be a shame to find you dead in a ditch because you wore something like that. terrible cause of death, don’t you think?”

she stomped her foot on the tile in the bathroom as she replayed the last things taehyung said to her. minji looked at herself in the mirror and resisted the urge to throw the vase by the door at her reflection.

“stupid, lee minji. you shouldn’t have come here”

you didn’t do anything or say anything because you should’ve expected this. taehyung was one handsome and fine young man, of course he would have women begging to sleep with him. unfortunately, you saw one of those girls leaning against the railing of his balcony with nothing but a robe.

he even let her stay at his place.

the curious stare you had was met with the girl herself and her lips turned up to a smirk and her head cocked to the side. minji caught your eye since you could be seen through the large windows of your living room.

so you were the girl in his camera.

she even raised her hand as a hello and beckoned you to come outside. at first, you didn’t know who she was talking to, even pointing to yourself as confirmation, but she nodded and you slowly walked to the doors and out to the balcony.

at a closer look, this girl was beautiful. duh, only pretty girls should be with him. with the perfect skin and even flawless natural beauty, she was the girl you would envision to be his girlfriend.

of course, he has a girlfriend!

the topic never came up and you assumed he was single with the flirty texts he sent but she might be his girlfriend.

minji smirked when you said nothing and just kept staring at her. it was so unlike taehyung to find interest in a little girl like you.

“you must be,, diana?”

you stopped.

“huh?”

how does she know about that?

minji chuckled.

“sorry. i was in tae’s laptop and saw a folder named diana. and your pictures were in there so i assumed,, you are diana. you are, aren’t you?”

it made you feel awkward that his girlfriend knew you and the fact that she found out about you was because her boyfriend’s laptop had pictures of you in it. you would be curious too if your own boyfriend did that.

so you just nodded.

“um, i guess? but don’t misunderstand! i’m just helping him! that’s it!”

you clarified but minji didn’t seem bothered, even just examining her fingernails.

“it’s alright. tae’s always been like that. he wasn’t interested in anything strikingly attractive or beautiful so his standards of beauty are quite rare. but once he does find it, he doesn’t let go. he takes pictures of it and keeps it as,,, a collection?”

you didn’t understand anything she was saying but the energy you got from her was suspicious and negative.

“what are you saying? i’m not following”

you awkwardly chuckled to lighten up the air but minji kept going.

“once you become taehyung’s model, he becomes drawn to you- almost, obsessed. but in the end of the day, you’ll still just be his model. that’s it. why? because he doesn’t fall in love with the eyes. he falls in love with his camera. you can be the most beautiful thing to ever walk the earth but if one day, his lens doesn’t capture that, he would cast you aside and find a new one. so darling, i want to give you a bit of an advice to save you the heartbreak. you can like him all you want- hell, even fall in love with him if you so desire-but don’t forget who you are, don’t forget where you belong. stay in your place, know your purpose, and just be his good little doll, nothing more. okay?”

there was conflict inside you because you weren’t in love with him, attracted sure, but you weren’t going to fall in love with him. but why does it feel like your hopes were just crushed? was it because he could easily cast you aside when he no longer needs you? but she was right. you were just a model. 

then again, who was she to be saying this stuff? 

“why are you saying this?”

you quietly said and minji showed a ‘sad’ smile.

“because i was once you. and if you don’t follow my advice, you could end up like me. thrown away and forgotten.”

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fun facts:

- lee minji was taehyung's ex-girlfriend and they were,,, doing stuff and she told tae he was allowed to take pictures and all that but tae broke up with her which made her spread the pictures and taehyung's family were ashamed of him so they sent him to seoul where a family friend let him stay.

- minji didn't know there were videos too but he kept them just in case for payback or revenge or just something to keep over her head

- namjoon is currently reading DEMIAN and DON QUIXOTE and he switches from that language to crack for the group chat

- jimin still has an X and jungkook keeps teasing him about it

- tae works as an intern for a photography company but he usually does the editing at home so he never leaves the house

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//masterlist//

← track 5 // track 7 →

taglist!:

@weasleyswizarding-wheezes​

[merryfortune]

Blue since the day we parted

Written for 100ships on Dreamwidth

Prompt: #13 Blue

Ship: Ai/Shoichi/Yusaku

Fandom: Yu-Gi-Oh! VRAINS

Word Count: 1,745

Rating: T

Warnings: Choose Not to Warn

Tags: Canon Compliant, Angst with a Happy Ending, Missing Scene Fic

   A tear glistened in the corner of Playmaker’s eye as he reached out into that cloudy, blue sky and touched Ai, plucking him from the digital space.

   Ai convulsed inside his hand. Just an eyeball. Reconstructed, refigured, recantered and then he remembered. Playmaker’s heart lurched with worry as he cradled Ai, standing into the wind and letting it roll off him as he waited for Ai to say something. To do something. Anything. And then a tear to match the ones dripping slowly down the side of Playmaker’s face welled up on the rubber duct of Ai’s entire eyeball.

   “Yusaku…?” he murmured. “Yusaku! Yusaku! My Yusaku!”

   “Y-Yeah, it's me, Ai.” Playmaker beamed and Ai was happy that such a wide smile would be his first memory in this refreshed, new world.

   “I thought… I thought I was a goner.” Ai mumbled, grateful to be alive but grim in his certainty that he was very much not so supposed to be alive.

   “You know me,” Playmaker shrugged, “once I decide something, it becomes my purpose. Be it for three months or ten years, I just get absorbed in that one singular desire. Looking for you, piecing you back together, that was my one desire this time.”

   “And I bet it was just as destructive for you than if was just plain ol’ revenge.” Ai replied.

   Playmaker didn’t have a verbal response to that but the guilty look on his face spoke volumes. Ai nodded in his hands, moving himself up and down against Playmaker’s palms.

   “I thought as much.” Ai mumbled. “You never really change and yet…?”

   It, too, was written all over Playmaker’s face just as much as the guilt of having pushed aside so many of his connections just so he could reconnect to this one. Playmaker found it worth it though. Unbelievably worth it. He kept smiling, even if his initial grin had shrunken in on itself and steeped with guilt.

   “I can’t help it, your right,” Playmaker replied, murmuring, “Ai means to love people but I feel like I can only do it when I have…”

   “Ai?” Ai piped up hopefully.

   “Yeah, exactly.” Playmaker told him.

   “Oh, you incorrigible…!” Ai complained and he seemed rather cranky in Playmaker’s hands now, frowning and pouting but then he let up on it. “I love you, too. Thank you for bringing me back, for having hope.”

   “My pleasure.” Playmaker replied.

   “So, what now?” asked Ai. “Am I going to be stuck like this forever? My handsome visages? Gone, perished, truly a fate worse than death.”

   “I’ve got that all figured out,” Playmaker assured Ai, “So let’s log-out.” He shifted slightly and an admittance followed, “There’s someone else I really want back now, though, as well. Its kind of co-linked to getting your body back, too.”

   Ai had a sneaking suspicion that he knew what that meant so he perked up immediately, “Let’s get to it then, Playmaker! Seize the wind, already!”

   Playmaker laughed and it was such a lovely sound to Ai. It was unrehearsed and croaky but it was laughter nonetheless. They logged out together shortly afterwards. A cavalcade of pale blue data turning into sparkling shards of data before disappearing entirely.

   When they resurfaced, the location was not where Ai expected. He was still in the palm of Yusaku’s hands as he ventured out of a dark niche where his Link VRAINS rig was set up. It was familiar but it wasn’t home - or at least Yusaku’s apartment, even if it had never really felt like home until the end, when it was more about the emotions imbued in the walls than the walls themselves.

   Looking around, the first thing Ai saw, through the guards of Yusaku’s fingers, was the ocean. It was about midday, early afternoon, and the ocean was sparkling. It was a rich azure through the silver railing and the framing of the huge doorway into this building that Yusaku had made his next hovel. Ai realised where they were; they were at the site of their final showdown, if not a warehouse or two either.

   Ai wriggled in Yusaku’s hands so he could look up to him, “What happened to the apartment?” he asked. “Wh-Where’s Roboppy’s shell?”

   “Somewhere safe, don’t worry,” Yusaku replied and then he shrugged, his gaze grew distant, “I’m not sure what happened to the apartment. Landlord never tried to contact me when I bailed, I left behind whatever I couldn’t bring with me so I could stay here. It was easier than trying to move all your stockpiles there. Mightn’t be the most luxurious of places but its quiet here.”

   “Yeah, nothing more soothing than the sounds of construction.” Ai complained because he knew, for one, that he could hear the sound of jackhammers somewhere along the industrial pier.

   “Okay, serene.” Yusaku corrected himself.

   “But if there’s people around… how are you…?” Ai’s voice trailed off.

   “It’s not easy but I’ve managed alright to hide out undetected. I think the workers enjoy having a ghost around. So long as it doesn’t touch anything important, they don’t care if some electricity is pilfered.” Yusaku said but he brightened up, returned his gaze to Ai. “But now that we’re together again, let’s try and find somewhere really nice to live, yeah?”

   “Yeah.” Ai excitedly replied.

   “So let’s get you into your not-meat suit.” Yusaku said. “I don’t have all the means to give you back your Ignis body but take your pick of SOLtiS bodies.”

   Yusaku drifted through the vast, freezing warehouse like it was his home, showing Ai to one of the many stashes of cold, lifeless bodies that belonged to them. As eerie as it was to have so many empty SOLtiS androids around, Ai jumped into one enthusiastically. He wormed and wriggled his way into their shell and the eyeball became a beating heart. Yusaku watched, breathless, as a dressed and ready Ai appeared before him in the form of his dashing persona as a human.

   Whilst Ai may have been groggy and vague at first upon revival, he was really in the swing of things now as he popped up on his two legs like he was born to walk. Yusaku smiled gently whilst Ai stretched out all his nuts and bolts, making sure his limbs hadn’t rusted and got as close to limber as a robot could be and at the very end, made a very satisfied sigh.

   “Alright, what’s next?” Ai asked.

   “I think you know,” Yusaku said and though his heart thudded in his chest, a beg not to, he reached out to take Ai’s hand, “let’s go.”

   “Of course, partner.” Ai replied affectionately.

   Their fingers intertwined and linked together and then they were off with the wind. Not forever, obviously, Yusaku wanted to circle back later to grab Roboppy and a few other things that would be difficult to replace retroactively but for now, he and Ai were really putting the blues of the warehouse behind them both. And they both knew where they were headed on the interim, following the winding, concrete paths that allied themselves with the ocean so down below at the base of the steep cliffs here.

   When they arrived where they wanted to go, they still arrived looking like they ought to be dead. A corpse and a ghost: neither sure which was which but it was worth it.

   Cafe Nagi’s van was set up to the side of the Stardust Road. The last of the lunch time rush customers were trickling in and out, a waiter with a fluffy ponytail darting around them, fetching them refreshments and the like who paused to stare, puzzled, as his brother abandoned his post behind the grill.

   Yusaku smiled, tears in his eyes again that turned his smile creaky and all the more sincere, “Hey Kusanagi,” he said as Shoichi rushed towards him and Ai with a disbelieving smile, “I-I’ve missed you.”

   Before Yusaku knew it, he was swept up in a big bear hug from Shoichi. His arms surged around Yusaku’s scrawny frame and were so warm, Yusaku couldn’t have been more thankful for it. He buried his wet face into Shoichi’s chest and wrapped his arms around Shoichi’s waist. He felt so cared for as Shoichi’s hand cradled the back of his head, his fingers in his blue hair - and Ai, Ai was involving himself in this hug one way or another, too. Trying to reach both Yusaku and Shoichi but Shoichi was hogging Yusaku but Ai didn’t mind.

   “Never - and I mean never - do that to me again.” Shoichi growled. He was angry and sad and happy and relieved all at once. All that really broke through the barrage of emotions that he felt was love.

   “I promise.” Yusaku replied. He hugged back tighter. “I absolutely promise, I - I don’t want to be separated from you or Ai ever again, both of you are my precious partners.”

   “I believe you, Yusaku.” Shoichi consoled him. His head shifted to the left slightly, “And I mean it, Ai, I’m glad to see your back as well. I don’t want you running off either.”

   “It’s good to see you again, too, hot dog man.” Ai mumbled very fondly and with something of a tint of sadness. “And trust me,” he added, “there’s nowhere I’d rather be right now with you two.”

   “Same.” Yusaku mumbled.

   “I’m glad,” Shoichi replied softly and though he didn’t want to, he loosened his embrace of Yusaku so he could see his face properly, his cheeks were red and he looked dishevelled, there were bags under his eyes, “Yusaku? Ai?” Shoichi murmured.

   “Yeah?” Yusaku mumbled.

   Shoichi tilted his head to the side slightly, “Do you want to come live with me?” he asked. “Me and Jin?”

   “I’d love to.” Yusaku replied.

   “Me too.” Ai added on.

   Yusaku hugged Shoichi again. He couldn’t wait to move in with Shoichi and together they could get Ai his little Ignis body back too. It was all happening and Yusaku couldn’t be happier. He had been so depressed and angry since Ai died. Everything else became a blur to him. Lifeless, miserable. He didn’t want that anymore or ever again. So, he was determined to never let go of either Ai or Shoichi ever again and then, like an armory, the legendary spear and shield to pierce and protect and their tentacle monster too, they could go forward and progress. Reconnect and co-link. That’s all Yusaku wanted.

[mostlycompetentwriter]

“Back Door” (TMT Part 2)

F/M Pairing: Y/N x Han Jisung (SKZ); Some Mentions of Y/N x Bang Chan and Y/N x Changbin

Warnings: Language and Mature Content

Word Count: 5K

Genre: High School AU! Sequel!

Summary: In the grand scheme of things, Y/N should’ve known better than to expect everything to work out on its own. But is she ready to face the consequences of her actions?

A/N: Read TMT Here!!

The sun had barely peaked through the blinds when I felt a sharp pain in my lower back. 

It was both unexpected and jarring, and I winced at the dull, persistent ache, attempting to turn over onto my side, when I realized that I couldn’t because a strong grip was keeping me held in place. Then, there was nothing but dread overtaking the previous disorientation of my exhaustion, and I cringed when Jisung made a soft noise and pulled me even closer, burying his face against my shoulder.

“Shit!” I cursed under my breath, trying to free myself from his hold because the vestiges of panic were beginning to take root, and images from our previous night together were flying through my head at an exponential pace.

Holy shit! I slept with Jisung!

“Don’t think so hard, baby,” Jisung purred, and he was nipping playfully at the skin surrounding my collarbone.

The picture of confidence in contradiction to the shy little boy from the previous night who could barely keep his cock from falling out.

“I’m not,” I protested, even as I continued squirming around in his arms, feeling a shock travel up my spine when I accidentally felt his flaccid length against my thigh.

“Mmm,” Jisung murmured, breaths hot against my face as he pressed a kiss to the corner of my lip. “You still look pretty in the mornings.” He chuckled, reaching back with one hand to brush through his disastrous hair. “I’m sure I look like a mess.”

“Jisung,” I said as sternly as possible because I knew I needed to be forceful, to keep him from acting like this could be anything normal for us. Because he and I both needed to admit that this was a big mistake. “I need to use the bathroom.”

“Oh!” Jisung remarked, and I could breath a sigh of relief when he removed his arm from around my waist. “Hurry back.”

I rolled my eyes at his tone, cursing the existence of last night over and over again as I wrapped a blanket around my torso before moving through the house to the guest bathroom on the lower floor. “What the fuck have you done!” I groaned when I greeted my reflection in the mirror - eyes bloodshot from the alcohol, and feminine features holding so much tension from the horrors of the morning after whatever the hell I had allowed to happen between me and Jisung.

After all these years of dissuading Jisung’s advances, I just committed the worst sin of them all: I gave him an opening to the thing he wanted most from me. 

“Calm down,” I whispered to that grisly reflection, splashing water against my face as I sucked down multiple deep breaths.

“Y/N!” I heard Jisung call for me, even all the way downstairs separated by an entire floor.

It still wasn’t enough separation.

“Coming!” I shouted back because I knew I couldn’t avoid this, especially not with someone like Jisung. Someone who had been admiring me from afar from so long. Someone who was way too close to ignore because of his life-long friendship with Felix.

I couldn’t run from what I helped to create, so I gathered as much confidence as I could muster while still looking like shit in the mirror, walking slowly back upstairs while trying to make sense of the chaos breaking through the desire to live in an independent world where everything was fine.

“There you are,” Jisung chirped from where he had made himself comfortable at the counter in the kitchen, pouring milk into two glasses. “You wanna order some breakfast?”

“Not hungry,” I said, sliding into place in front of one of the glasses.

“Oh, sure,” Jisung replied, and he shook off my frigid tone. “The milk is good.”

“Yeah,” I muttered, watching him from the corner of my eye as he sat down next to me.

“I checked the date, so don’t worry,” he said with a giggle, perfectly at ease in the familiar setting of my kitchen. Except that nothing was normal, it couldn’t be taken that way after all the events that transpired last night.

“I trust you,” I whispered, looking down vacantly into the milky white liquid.

“Well, where do you want to go today?” Jisung asked, and I experienced the sharp sting of guilt - a nasty feeling weighing heavily on my chest - when his smile reached both corners of his eyes. “We can do what you want.”

“We should talk...” I said, trailing off when Jisung nodded.

“We can talk,” he agreed. “I like listening to you.”

“Jisung.” I sighed, hating that he was so nice because it made it difficult to say the things that would drive that smile away. “It’s kinda heavy...”

“You don’t have to say it then,” Jisung insisted, and I felt hurt all over again when I realized that he thought the words would affect me! That they might make me sad and he wanted to assure me that I never had to vocalize such difficult subjects. 

“I need to say it,” I continued. “I mean, there’re plenty of other things I’d rather do, but this is important.”

“Oh?” Jisung smirked, and I knew that his mind had traveled somewhere else. “Do you want to have sex again?” Jisung continued as if I had never spoken. “I had a lot of fun with you last night.”

“That’s the whole problem,” I said, swallowing hard before pushing it out. “Jisung, about last night-”

DING DONG!

I frowned when the sound of the doorbell ringing interrupted my chain of thought, especially when Jisung was so quick to scoot off his chair to answer whoever it was waiting on the other side. “Hold on,” I said, following behind him just in time to see the person standing on the porch. “Chan?”

“Hey,” Chan greeted us, and his previous smile was displaced by a chastened look, searching between the two of us with a curious expression. “Were you two together?”

“Jisung stays over sometimes,” I said, talking over Jisung before he could proclaim us as soulmates. 

“Ah,” Chan nodded. “So, you’re not busy?”

“Not right now,” I agreed, trying to push off a stubbornly persistent Jisung while Chan continued to study us from the porch.

“Okay, well, Changbin’s having a party at his place tonight,” Chan said. “If you guys want to come.”

“I don’t know...”

“We’d love to,” Jisung intervened, taking his turn to speak over me, but I couldn’t think of a worse scenario.

“Great,” Chan said, and his smile was back as he started to retreat. “I’ll see you guys there.”

Saturday

I couldn’t change Jisung’s mind, which meant that my arm was neatly tucked into his as he led us up the sidewalk to Changbin’s lavish home.

Although, mansion might be a more accurate description.

“Are you excited?” Jisung asked, pulling me away from my study of the intimate ornate columns and impressive Greco-Roman inspired architecture.

“Once I get ahold of some alcohol,” I grumbled, and Jisung laughed like it was the funniest thing I had ever said to him.

“We’ve got you covered, baby,” Jisung said, and I rolled my eyes at the petname, especially when he was using it on me.

Especially when he continued using it on me. All. Week. Long.

Walking up to Changbin’s house in the middle of the night while listening to Jisung talk about the man in question like they had known each other for their entire lives.

“I wonder where he is?” Jisung questioned when we joined the impossible fray of students - high school and college alike - spreading throughout the grandeur space inside.

“I might know a few places,” I murmured because Jisung wasn’t meant to overhear, and my eyes were drawn to the secluded corners of the house, the places that Changbin seemed inclined to escape to just like the first night we met one another. 

“Let’s find something to drink,” Jisung said, and I nodded my head and followed him into the other room.

It didn’t take long to find a couple beers, twisting off the tops and drinking while several students - probably friends of Chan and Changbin who had introduced their new third piece - crowded around me and Jisung to ask him questions about the 3racha.

“We’re releasing a special project soon,” Jisung said, and I could tell he was enjoying the attention.

But it must be nice to get some recognition for a passion that you had spent years perfecting.

It also provided the perfect opportunity for me to slip away from his careful eye, wandering back into the main room where a familiar figure captured my attention hidden away near the fireplace in the den.

“Y/N,” Changbin greeted me with his familiar smirk, beckoning me closer while drinking from his glass.

“I thought you might be away from the action,” I said, feeling a bit more comfortable next to Changbin, and far from the prying eyes of the other students.

“It gets crowded,” he said, and we both turned to the sudden sound of raucous laughter, emanating from the same room where I had just left. “You came with Jisung?”

“Yeah, but he found some admirers,” I said, attempting to make a joke of the situation.

“You two must be together,” Changbin remarked, and the corner of his mouth lifted into something resembling an arrogant look. “He acts like it.”

“Don’t mind him,” I said, rolling my eyes. “We haven’t really talked about things.”

“Oh?” Changbin hummed. “Why is that?”

“Because it was a mistake,” I insisted, but saying it loud didn’t necessarily reflect the confusing ball of emotions that I felt buried away around my heart.

“Mistake?” Changbin repeated, and his eyes glossed over with a mischievous gleam, reaching down for my hand to pull me along with him upstairs. “That’s interesting.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, but I didn’t protest when he opened the door to what I imagined to be his bedroom, slamming it closed behind him before leading me over to the bed. 

“Jisung wouldn’t agree with you,” Changbin said, and he pushed me down onto the mattress. “In fact, Jisung told me before that you were the love of his life.”

Changbin rolled his eyes at the cheesy sentiment, crawling over top of me with a predatory glare. “Jisung doesn’t know anything about love,” I retorted, and my body was responding to Changbin’s advances, craving his skilled touches as I guided his hand down to the hem of my skirt.

“Remember when I finger-fucked you in my car?” he whispered directly into my ear, free hand coming down to hold my waist.

“Yes,” I whined in return, swallowing hard when his fingers moved along the sensitive skin of my inner thighs, snapping the band of my panties into place when they reached even higher, leaving intimate goosebumps in their wake.

“Do you want me to do it again?” he growled in a low timber that sent shivers down my spine.

“Please,” I panted against his lips, desperate for him to eliminate the remaining distance between us....

But then the spell was broken.

Jarring us both away from one another, gazes drawn to the door.

“What the hell are you two doing!”

“Shit!” I cursed, pushing Changbin back as my eyes immediately flew to Jisung’s horrified expression. Standing in the doorway to Changbin’s bedroom with his mouth almost reaching the floor.

“Relax,” Changbin spoke nonchalantly, sitting back on his knees. “Why are you so tense?”

I roughly elbowed him in the side, deciding that he was far too much of a jerk in that moment to warrant anything less. 

Still, there was the issue of Jisung who had obviously taken precedence, and everyone was silent while I tried to formulate something. Any semblance of an explanation that might help me avoid an impending meltdown. “Jisung-”

“No!” Jisung screeched, and I was taken aback at the primitive noise that had just come from him. “You won’t treat me like this.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” I snapped in return.

“Don’t play stupid, Y/N,” Jisung continued, and I was surprised to see Jisung acting so unhinged. “You know how I feel about you. I’ve always tried to show you that much, but then I bring you here and you sneak off to try and fuck Changbin?”

I opened my mouth to say anything, but there was nothing that could’ve prepared so this onslaught of passionate rage from Jisung. The same boy who usually batted his eyelids at me and giggled at jokes from his friends.

“We never talked about anything,” I eventually said.

“You never gave us a chance,” Jisung said, and I realized that he was right, even though I tried the other morning.

There had always been plenty of chances.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, but Jisung scoffed and gave me a bitter-sounding laugh.

“You’re not sorry,” he said, and the words echoed around inside my head, even after he left without any further consideration for me.

“Well, that was weird,” Changbin chuckled, and he started to kiss me again, like nothing had even transpired.

“What the hell are you doing?” I hissed at him. “Are you serious?”

“Why not?” Changbin shrugged. “We’re both just looking for a quick fuck, right?”

“Is that what you think?” I asked him. “That I’m just a quick fuck?”

“Obviously,” Changbin snorted. “Haven’t I been playing you just right this entire time, baby?”

I nearly screamed at his mocking use of Jisung’s petname, shouldering past him in my haste to get away from him. “You’re a dick,” I growled, even as the sharp sting of tears threatened to expose my façade of masked indifference, and I refused to show someone who had manipulated my emotions that they were even remotely successful in making me feel completely useless.

I had the radio playing in the background when I drove to Chan and Changbin’s studio the next morning.

There was a part of me that wanted to make peace with Jisung, on the off chance that he was even there, but an even bigger part who just wanted to hide from those confusing emotions. To choose something even more powerful to mask the hurt.

Lust, for example, which guided me into the studio where I discovered Chan sitting behind a computer in one of the production rooms.

“Y/N,” he said, noticing my arrival and removing his headphones. “I’m surprised to see you here.”

“I just wanted to come by,” I said, sauntering closer to him, hoping that he could pick up on what I wanted from him.

“Jisung isn’t here,” Chan said, and I flinched at his name but remained undeterred.

“I’m not here for him,” I said, lowering my tone. 

“I heard what happened at the party,” Chan tried again, but I didn’t allow him to finish his thought, straddling his thighs before locking our lips together in a desperate kiss. “Y/N,” he spoke in the very limited space between our mouths, clashing and bruising together.

“Just fuck me, please,” I begged him, digging my fingers into his shirt as I forced our lips together once again.

“No,” Chan groaned, and I was more than taken aback when he pushed me away. Not enough to send me sprawling out of his lap, but enough to make a clear point.

“Why?” I whispered, feeling myself teeter on the edge of tears which didn’t make any sense. There was no reason to be upset, and I blamed Jisung and the way he messed with my most volatile emotions,

“I shouldn’t have done anything with you,” Chan said. “It was a stupid competitive thing with Changbin.”

“You regret it?” I asked, breaking the skin of my lower lip between my teeth, tasting blood before Chan sighed and forced me to relax.

“Maybe that was the wrong thing to say, but after hearing Jisung talk about you...” Chan trailed off, and I was suddenly even more upset when he left me to fill in the blanks.

“I didn’t come here to talk about Jisung,” I said, feeling my mental state perform a complete 180, wiping away any evidence of those pesky tears.

“You came here to avoid him,” Chan said. “But is it really the right thing to do?”

“Since when do you care?” I asked with a harsh exhale, and Chan nodded like he was perfectly accepting of my anger.

“I don’t deserve to be on good terms with you,” Chan continued. “Changbin and I...we were both very manipulative with our intentions.”

“You took advantage of me,” I hissed, and Chan’s eyes widened as he shook his head fiercely.

“No!” he said, and it was very stern. “I would never do that to anyone! Well, I mean, I’m terrible with relationships.”

I frowned. “You should’ve told me. The upfront dishonesty is not appreciated.”

Chan sighed at my implication. “Look, I told you that I can’t seem to get anything right, but if there’s one person who was always honest with you-”

“Jisung,” I interrupted him with a sigh. “Yeah, I know.”

“Seriously, Y/N,” Chan said, taking a firm grip on my chin to force my eyes to meet his own. “Talk to him. Forget about me and Changbin.”

“That’s hard to do since Minho likes you,” I quipped, and he chuckled.

“You can pretend to like me,” Chan offered, and I shrugged because maybe it was a good compromise.

“Fine, pretending works,” I said. “Especially since you’re kind of an asshole.”

Chan winced at my words. “Yeah, I guess I am.”

“I’m glad we’re in agreement, but I came here to do something stupid again,” I said. “I guess I failed.”

“Not really,” Chan said, and he reached behind him for a discarded piece of paper. “Come watch us perform this weekend,” Chan said, holding out the flyer which I accepted. “Make it up to him.”

I gritted my teeth together, reading the headline of the flyer before looking back at Chan. “He won’t forgive me.”

“Well, not until you come to terms with what you want first,” Chan said, and I knew that he was right. 

“I don’t think I want him...”

“Are you sure about that?” Chan asked. “Think hard on it, and I’ll save you a good seat and a bottle of beer.”

“That’s hard to resist,” I said, and I slowly gathered myself out of his lap, readjusting my clothes and brushing off the imaginary dust that couldn’t possibly have collected on the fabric. “I’ll see you soon then.”

Chan nodded, holding out his hand for me to shake. “Consider it a peace offering.”

I scoffed at the display, but accepted his extension of peace or whatever nonetheless. 

Yeah, he made it hard to stay mad at him, even though he deserved every bit of my wrath, but he also made it hard not to see the obvious reasoning with making things right with Jisung. 

One of the few people in my life who had never been anything but kind.

It was Saturday night, and I was nervous and anxious when I walked inside the venue where 3racha would be performing.

Thankfully, my brothers had also been invited, and I found them in the crowd quickly, determined to stick to their sides until I had enough confidence to face Jisung alone. 

“Get ready!” Felix shouted when the overheard music turned down low, signaling the crowd to turn their attention towards the stage where Chan, Changbin, and Jisung were all walking out, microphones in hand.

I shifted next to Minho when I noticed Jisung, decked out in an all-black ensemble, beanie cap pulled low over his eyes. 

“Looks like Jisung invaded Chan’s closet,” Minho quipped, and Felix snorted around his drink while I found myself studying the way his lithe figure was heavily accentuated by the tight leather.

“3rd Eye, are you ready to get loud?” Chan bellowed into the microhome, and the crowd answered his call with raucous yelling as thumping, heavy bass music began to play in the background.

And then, right before my very eyes, little Han Jisung, Felix’s dorky best friend, stepped forward to the edge of the stage and started to rap his lyrics at a speed that surely defied the very barrier of space and time?

“Holy shit,” I said, finding myself drawn into Jisung’s careful handling of the beat, riding its dips and flaws with mastery, leading the crowd with some kind of invisible magnetism. “Jisung is really good!”

“Of course, he is,” Felix scoffed, like I should’ve known better. “He’s been practicing since middle school.”

“He has?” I returned, but the question went unanswered as Felix enthusiastically continued to cheer for his friend, and I was caught up in the whirlwind of the crowd’s enthusiasm while my own heart beat incredibly fast for several much different reasons.

Their stage ended on a high, and I found that my voice was hoarse from screaming with the rest of the patrons, clapping like a madwoman while 3racha disappeared backstage. 

“Let’s see if we can find, Sung,” Felix suggested, and any prior elation was gone as I remembered my original purpose for coming here.

“I’d love to congratulate him,” Minho agreed, and I reluctantly followed my brothers to the backstage entrance where a bouncer noticed them and waved them forward.

Must be some kind of friend privileges.

Regardless, it brought me to where I needed to be, and I hesitated when we were pulled even deeper between sound equipment and storage containers.

“Where are they?” Minho asked.

“I see Chan,” Felix said, pointing ahead of us, and I bit back my disappointment at finding Chan first.

“You guys made it,” Chan said, coming over to greet us, giving Minho some weird, elaborate handshake.

I rolled my eyes at their boyish oddities, glancing around the backstage area, not looking for anything in particular, until....

Jisung. Standing over there with another girl.

I froze, watching as Jisung leaned in closer to whisper directly into her ear in a decidedly intimate exchange.

“Jisung?” I whispered, and it was enough to steal Minho’s attention who followed my gaze with a chuckle.

“Does Jisung have a girlfriend?”

I swallowed hard at the question, the bitter taste of disappointment, and I ran despite Minho and Felix calling my name. Despite the overbearing sensation of Jisung’s eyes following me the entire time.

It was late when my brothers came home, discovering me sitting alone in the living room.

Felix was the first to react, releasing a loud sigh before he came to sit next to me on the couch. “Rough night?” he asked, voice gruff from the exertion of screaming at the concert.

“You could say that,” I muttered in return, picking at the stitching on the pillow in my lap.

“I guess this is about Jisung,” Minho added, coming to stand in front of me with that stupid concerned look on his face.

“Forget it,” I said. “It isn’t anyone else’s business.”

“Jisung is my friend,” Felix said, and he seemed affronted. “It actually is my business.”

“Fine,” I snapped, turning to glare at Minho. “But you can’t say anything.”

“Yes, I can,” Minho replied. “Because I’m usually the only one who can get you to listen!”

I frowned at the assertion, slumping down even lower against the cushions. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Too bad,” Minho said, and he stubbornly collapsed next to me despite my warning. “Chan told us everything.”

I sat up immediately, feeling my mouth drop open as I looked at Minho. “What do you mean?”

“We know you have a thing for Jisung,” Minho teased.

“No, I don’t!”

“Then why were you all angsty when you saw him with that other girl?” Felix intervened, snickering at my awe-struck expression. “Besides, you don’t think Jisung wasn’t bragging about finally sleeping with the love of his life?”

“I’m not the love of his life,” I grumped. “He clearly doesn’t care about me.”

“Then you’re blind and stupid,” Felix said, thoughtful as always. But then his expression turned serious. “Y/N, Jisung’s been in love with you since middle school, and I should know because he never shut up about you.”

I sighed at the admission, wrestling with the incessant desire to keep my mouth shut and that smaller part of me that longed to confess everything. “I never knew I wanted him,” I said. “Until I saw him with that other girl...how fucked up is that?”

“It’s not fucked up,” Minho said. “Sometimes, it takes...extraneous circumstances to convince us of our feelings.”

“Especially if that person is you,” Felix continued. “You’re stubborn to a fault.”

“Am not!” I huffed, realizing only a moment later that I was proving their point.

“Look, just give him a chance to explain himself, Y/N,” Minho said. “You clearly owe him an apology, and you both have a lot to talk about.”

“I know,” I begrudgingly agreed, and it was only after I thought about how utterly destroyed I felt after seeing Jisung tonight that I was struck with the weight of importance for what I had to do.

It was Chan’s idea, really, to invite me back to the studio, conveniently at the same time when Jisung was set to record his part for their next single.

At first, I resisted because I didn’t want to interrupt Jisung at work, but then my brothers reminded me that it probably had a lot more to do with myself refusing to face up to my mistakes rather than some kind of respect for professional boundaries.

Nonetheless, I had no idea what I planned to say to Jisung because I could rehearse a given set of words a thousand times, but when it came to actually confronting him, they could all disappear from my head. And instead of floundering around trying to remember them all, I think it might be better to talk to him in the moment as I formulated some semblance of a worthy apology for the hurt I had caused him.

It was also still new, this coming to terms with the fact that Felix’s best friend might be someone who could mean something more to me than that kid who always flirted and shyly whispered hello’s and goodbye’s whenever he came over to spend the night.

But maybe talking would help me figure things out, and after knocking on the studio door, I put on my best smile when Jisung’s face appeared from the other side.

Unfortunately, he wore a scowl that could scare even the bravest of souls, and I was more or less intimidated after asking him if I could come inside. 

“I guess,” Jisung said, leaving the door open for me to close before returning to his seat at the production stand.

“So,” I started, trailing off as I glanced around the room. “This is a nice set-up.”

“Yeah,” Jisung said, offering nothing more, and telling me all I needed to know about his openness to starting a conversation with me.

“Right,” I agreed, clearing my throat. “Uh, Jisung? I just wanted to apologize for the other night at the party. It was really out of line for me to act the way I did.”

“Huh,” Jisung scoffed. “I don’t think you really mean that.”

I winced at his dismissal. “I’m being genuine.”

“Hard for me to tell,” Jisung replied, and I shook my head because this was going horribly wrong and I expected him to kick me out at any moment. 

“Your performance was good the other night,” I tried again. “I really like the music, and your rapping is super good.”

“Thanks,” he muttered dryly.

“Seriously,” I insisted. “You’re really talented, and I guess other people noticed before me, which is stupid. But I’m happy for you, and I just want you to do whatever brings you the best opportunities....Oh! And I think your girlfriend is really pretty, not that it’s any of my business-”

“Girlfriend?” Jisung interrupted, turning around to look at me with a confused expression.

“Yeah? The girl I saw you with backstage the other night?” I said, wondering if Jisung was acting this way on purpose.

“You mean my cousin?” he asked, wrinkling his nose in obvious revulsion. “Why would you assume that?”

I groaned, resisting the urge to bang my head against the wall because I was only making things harder and even more awkward. “I didn’t know...I guess it just surprised me, and I took off...” I paused at the confession, fanning myself with one hand. 

“You thought I was dating someone else?” Jisung said. “And it made you feel...?”

“Betrayed,” I sighed, bowing my head in shame. “I guess you probably felt the same way when you saw me with Changbin.”

Jisung frowned, cheeks dusted with red as he considered me. “Yeah, Y/N, I wasn’t happy to see you with someone else after everything that happened between us.”

“I’m sorry, Jisung,” I whispered. “For everything. I’m literally the worst person on Earth, and you don’t even have to pretend to forgive me or anything. You can just ignore whenever you come over....I probably deserve it.”

Jisung shook his head, playing with the pen held poised between his fingers. “I won’t ignore you.”

I raised my head to meet his gaze. “Honestly, Jisung, seeing that girl the other night made me feel even more ridiculous because I shouldn’t need something like that to happen to make me realize that I really do like you.”

“Y/N...”

“No, really!” I insisted. “I’ve always seen you as Felix’s best friend, but that was stupid and wrong, and I’m sorry for making you hurt and leading you on or whatever. So, like, I needed to tell you how horrible I am, and you can take the apology or curse my existence, whatever! I just needed you to know.”

There was a long moment of quiet between us, and Jisung kept looking at me like he was trying to see past me. 

“You are kinda ridiculous,” Jisung finally said, and I released a deep breath that I didn’t know I had been holding.

“I talked to Felix and Minho,” I said. “They told me that you’ve always liked me.”

“Yeah,” Jisung said, a little bit sheepishly as his ears turned bright red. “That’s always been a thing.”

I giggled at his words. “So...what do we do now?”

“I don’t know,” he said, shrugging his shoulders, but there was something resembling a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “Whatever we want, maybe?”

My smile grew wider because it wasn’t anything like a label, but that just might be the right direction for the two of us. Taking the time to come together after having our paths zig-zag in opposing directions for so long. “Okay,” I agreed, feeling the cold distance minimize like an imaginary conveyor belt was pulling us closer. “Let’s go with that: whatever we want.”

[nooneelsecomesclose17]

Though winds of change are blowing wild and free

Inspired by @softlass27 here's their first year on the run. Just a few little snippets of their life and the bumps along the way. I'm playing fast and loose with legalities over money and property etc so go with it. If Emmerdale can stick Harriet in a cellar for weeks and think it's good then I can do this.

(AO3 link)

Aaron yawned as he switched off the engine. He’d been driving for hours, putting as many miles between them and Emmerdale as he could. Robert had driven some of the way but he’d started to flag and on unfamiliar roads, Aaron hadn’t wanted to risk it so he’d taken over.

He looks over at him, still sleeping, head resting against the window. He still couldn’t quite believe what had happened in the past day and a half and just how much their lives were changed. It hadn’t felt like this the last time. He’d been running then, more from everything in the village and in his head than the actual charges he was facing. This time though, this time he’d been happy, they’d had a pretty perfect life in Emmerdale, and now, that was gone.

He truly hoped they could do it, that it wouldn’t break them. For all his words to Paddy the day before he couldn’t help but wonder. Had it been part of why he and Ed had broken up in the end, had it been there in the background making everything else worse until they’d just given up.

He and Robert weren’t him and Ed, he knew that, but he couldn’t bear to think of the two of them growing so far apart they can’t be fixed, not after everything.

Then again the alternative is prion, and Aaron’s not stupid, he knows Robert wouldn’t cope. Not that he’s not strong, he’s the strongest person Aaron knows, but prison gets inside you, eating at you from the inside out and Robert shouldn’t have to face that.

They’d make it work, they’d have to. There was no other choice.

“Hey sleepyhead. We’re here.” He loves watching Robert wake up, how he fights it, wanting to go back to the warmth of sleep and whatever dream he’s having, how he’ll take a deep breath before he finally opens his eyes, and smiling when he sees him. “You with me.”

“Yeah.” His voice is hoarse and he coughs a little as he looks up at the B&B they’d found online. “Looks ok.”

“Let’s get in and get some sleep then. We’ll sort everything else tomorrow.”

“Last chance.” He frowns, doesn’t know what he means. “To back out.”

“Never. Come on.” He’d tell him as many times as he needed. He wasn’t going anywhere.

Day 1

He’d laid awake most of the night, listening to Robert’s little snores, glad he was sleeping. Aaron had let him, part of him had enjoyed the peace, allowing him to get his thoughts in order. Everything had happened so fast he'd just done it all without thinking. Not that he was having second thoughts, not for a minute but there was so much to think about. They had to find somewhere to live, work, all sorts. He was pretty sure they'd be safe now as long as they kept their heads down but even so they'd be looking over their shoulders forever. They needed to make a list of everything they had to do. Maybe they should’ve done it the night before but after they'd checked in they'd just gone straight to sleep both too exhausted to do anything else.

He looks over at Robert, rubbing his eyes to wake himself up, the lazy smile when he sees him. Being with him was worth it. always would be. He shuffles closer needing him to know that he'd always be there, always by his side.

"You ok?" He still looks a little shell shocked by the whole thing and Aaron supposes that's normal. He has an advantage after doing this before he supposes.

Thankfully he hadn't asked about why he was so late getting to him but he would soon enough, and he didn't really want to get into it because Robert will just feel guilty and it's not him who has to feel that way.

"Yeah."

"So, What's first?"

“Breakfast.” He was starving. The last thing he’d eaten had been a pasty on the ferry that had frankly seen better days.

Later they’re staring up at a cottage that’s for rent in the next village to where they'd stayed the night. South of Paris, Aaron considered it isolated enough that they'd be safe. It wasn't anything near as grand as Mill, but it had everything they needed and it wouldn't cost the earth. In time they'd likely want something bigger, or need to move, but for now it was home.

“You like it?” He asks him, arm slipping round his waist.

“Yeah. We can make it home, can’t we?”

“Yeah. I’ll need to call Cain soon though. We’re going to need money. What we’ve got won’t last forever. He can send me everything I need to give him permission to sell the scrapyard.”

“What?”

“It’s not like I’m going back there is it? Should get a decent sum for it, business is good.” Robert looks disappointed, almost devastated at his words. “We’ll need the money Robert and you can hardly do anything with your part of the haulage firm right now.”

"You have money." Aaron frowns up at him because the last time he checked his bank account it hadn't been so healthy. "When I thought I'd be going down for GBH, I transferred the money we'd put by for surrogacy into your account."

“What?" He’d never said a word. How had he not noticed that Robert was quietly planning for not being there anymore.

"It felt like the right thing, and besides, then we were still thinking of going ahead. You would've needed it. You can get Cain to sort it, transfer it or whatever. Then he can send any profits from the scrapyard over, at least until we work out how much we’re going to need.”

"I...ok." It makes sense, he just hadn't connected it as his mind that their dream of another baby was over. "Yeah. Right I should go call, get things moving. I won't be long."

"Aaron, wait." He tries to shake the hand off his arm but Robert's stubborn, won't let go. “I shouldn’t have just blurted it out like that…I’m sorry.”

"What for?"

"Just one more thing I've ruined isn't it. Maybe if I hadn’t taken so long to decide to have a baby, or if we’d just gone ahead with it instead of trying to scam Graham, we might have our baby right now.” Maybe he’s right, but then again they could hardly have gone on the run with a newborn baby, which would mean he’d be in prison.

"No!" He breathes out, trying to stop tears falling at the thought. It'd just make Robert feel worse. "No...I just hadn't thought. It's fine. Really. Like you say it makes sense to hold onto the yard. Hey…it’s ok.”

"I don't want you looking back in a year and hating me." Robert's staring at the ground, hands fidgeting and this time it's Aaron who's holding on, holding his chin so he'll meet his gaze.

"I won't, Robert. I promise you I won't. Messed up forever, isn't that what you said once?" He nods, a hint of a smile.

"Now let’s have a look inside before we do anything. Then if we want it I’ll call Cain. We’ve got enough for a couple of months rent with us anyhow. But I’m telling you now, if there’s a spiral staircase in there, I’m out.”

“Oi, there was nothing wrong with that staircase!”

The inside is better than he could hope and even better that it’s available from that day and the next thing he knows they’re unloading what little they have from the car.

"Is that the last of it?" Robert asks from the kitchen where he’s checking what cooking bits and pieces they have.

“Yeah.” He looks around. It’s nice, he thinks they can turn it into home soon enough, but he feels lonely all of a sudden standing there in a strange house. “I should go and get some food, take a quick look around, just in case.”

“Hey, slow down. You don’t have to do everything right this minute. I nicked the tea out of the room we had, we can suffer it black for now.”

“Robert, stuff needs sorting.”

“And it will be, but you haven’t stopped since we got up this morning.”

“I need to make sure we’re safe Robert. We’re not on a bloody holiday!”

“Don’t you think I know that? But unless the police are around the corner I think you can take five minutes to sit and have a cuppa before you fall down. Now sit.”

“So it’s going to be like this now is it? Bossing me around?”

“Figured a change is as good as a rest.” He hands him a mug and he wraps his hands round it. "So, while we settle in are you going to tell me what happened when you went home? You’ve been suspiciously quiet about it all.”

"I told you, Cain took ages." He busies himself blowing on the hot drink, refusing to look his husband in the eye.

"Yeah, and like I told you I know that's a load of rubbish. What happened Aaron? Look, I won't be mad if you had second thoughts. I half expected you wouldn't turn up if I'm honest.” That makes him look up, then again he’d known that’s where his mind would go.

"What? No, that was... Rob that's so far off..." He sighs, putting the tea down before joining him on the sofa. "I'd got the passports already. I was at home getting our stuff. when Paddy turned up."

"Paddy. What did he want?"

"Basically to stop me leaving. An intervention if you like.” He shivers a little, thoughts of what if they’d succeeded crossing his mind.

"What did he do?" He's annoyed already, Aaron knows that tone, and he rests his hand over his, trying to calm him down.

"Locked me in, threw the keys in the waste disposal, then he and Liv spent the night telling me how awful you were, how wrong I was to be coming with you." He tells him everything, brushing away the tears when they start spilling from Robert's eyes.

“He did what?" It comes out in a growl and Aaron knows he's angry . He was, but now it's changed into sadness. Sadness that they'd rather lose him by pushing him away than respecting his decisions.

"I didn't listen not for a minute.”

"They thought it was ok to lock a grown man in his own house? Why the hell didn't you tell me before?"

"What would you have done? Gone back to Emmerdale and ripped Paddy a new one?” He already knows the answer which is precisely the reason he hadn’t said a word. As much fun it might’ve been to see it, it wasn’t worth the risk.

"Yes!"

"Which would've achieved what?"

"Would've made me feel a whole lot better." Aaron chuckles despite everything because the look on his face is exactly the same as Seb's when they had tried to feed him pureed carrots for the first time." And…I’d thought maybe…”

“Maybe what?" He asks when Robert stops, staring into space.

"Nothing."

"No go on.” He has a bad feeling about this, wants it all out in the open.

"When I was waiting...you were so long, and my mind was all over the place. I kept thinking that...I wanted you to be safe..."

“I am."

"Are you? If I'd...I thought that it might be easier to...I thought about handing myself in." He gets up shrugging off Aaron's hand. "I thought that at least if I did that while we were still in England I would know you were safe, that you'd have your family, that they'd look after you."

"You were going to leave me?” His voice cracks as he gets up to go to Robert. It’s not as though he didn’t think Robert would sacrifice himself for him, he already knows he would, but the knowledge that it had come that close because of his family left him cold.

"For your own good. You would've been with your family, they'd look after you and you'd get to have a life without looking over your shoulder."

"You really think that's how it would've gone? Even before I told you this? That they'd look after me?"

"Well obviously not now! But then, yeah. I’d spoken to your Mum, said she should keep an eye on you when I was away so yeah I thought she’d actually do it!”

"I didn’t know that. Blimey. Wish I’d been there to see it.” It does the trick and breaks the tension. “You’re wrong though.”

“Why?” He pulls him back to the sofa, holding him close.

"Shall I tell you how it would go...If you had taken notice of your conscience, which frankly needs better timing, and handed yourself in, left me…They'd be sympathetic, at first, then they'd start, little by little suggesting I have a night out, have some fun. Then my Mum, or Liv, probably both would point out any cute blokes that come into the pub. Then I'd end up going out with one of them to keep the peace. All the while they'd be running you down so I don't even feel I can mention you at all. It'd be like you never existed."

"Aaron, don’t.” He can hear the pain in his voice at the thought that his good deed would’ve end up that way, but he needs to know, if only so it puts the notion of doing something stupid out of his mind for good. “They might not…they’ve might’ve just been there for you.”

"No, you need to know. That's how it would be and you know how I know that? Because they've done it before. When we broke up, that's exactly what happened. So no, don't ever think I might be better off with them instead of you."

"I didn't know…well I knew your Mum and Paddy tolerated me, but even so, I always thought they’d wants what’s best for you, no matter what.”

“Maybe once they did, but I was thinking it over while I was driving last night, it’s not. It’s about what they want. It’s never been about what’s best for me, ever since Mum was dating Carl King. It’s always been about what she wants and I have to fit in with that. Sometimes she’s better but in the end it always goes back to the same thing. I’ve started to realise just how much I've done what they wanted over the years, taken the easy way out.”

“You?”

“Until I met you at least. Then again Mum did always say you were a bad influence on me.”

“Ta very much.”

“They’ve gone too far now though Rob, you know that. I’ll never forgive them for this. If I’d been just half an hour later…I would’ve lost you. It doesn’t bear thinking about. That’s why I want everything right, so we’re safe, so I don’t lose you.”

“Come here.” Robert wraps him up in his arms, strong and warm and he doesn’t ever want to be anywhere else. “Just one thing. How did you get out of the house?”

“Oh.” He scratches his beard, trying to keep the laughter in. “Bathroom window. You would’ve thought Paddy would’ve remembered that one after seeing you leg it, but no. Scarpered and left them locked in. I’ll have to remember to ask Cain how long it took ‘em to get out.”

Robert’s laughter is the most beautiful sound he’s heard in days.

[sasa-gay-yo]

Just Us (Chapter Three: Normal)

← Chapter Two

“A false sense of calm. Of hope. That’s all that it was.” 

Everything had been published in the papers rooting for the Scouts and people in the streets were also in high spirits when they heard they were coming back from a monthly expedition. People had lined up in front of the café and this time I decided to join them and not wait for the newspapers. I could see if Levi made it out alive by just stepping outside of my door. 

Jonas had given me the box he was standing on, yet I still had to go on my tiptoes to just get a look over everyone else’s heads. I had asked Jonas how people knew the Scouts would come back and he said they would just take the whole day to stand and wait. It was almost beautiful to see the number of people here to support them and it made me feel warm inside. I never forgot the look Levi gave me when I told them the Scouts gave me hope, but I hoped that this display from the people of Trost could convince him.

“They’re here!” There were soft cheers as the horses neared in everyone’s vision. This was the first time I got to see Erwin in person and the portraits of him gave his eyebrows no justice. Even from far away you could see his herculean presence. People cheered more and more and I searched around for him on as they came closer and closer. 

Then the cheering stopped. The first of the line to see what was behind Erwin shut completely up and I was straining so hard to see why. Erwin’s expression was unreadable.

“Elias, get on my shoulders.” I grabbed the little boy from Jonas and hoisted him up as a lookout, “Can you see why they stopped cheering?” 

The smile on the boy’s face dropped.

“Elias?” Before he could say anything, the crowd started for him. 

“I thought for once we had a chance! Now, look!”

“My tax dollars down the drain again.”

“Ugh, useless.” I felt Elias’s grip on my hand tighten as he heard the remarks. He was little and probably couldn’t understand the criticism of the people he wanted to be when he grew up. Even I couldn’t understand until I finally saw what everyone was muttering about. Scout after Scout limped by.

They had halved easily. They were filled with people who were bandaged, crippled, walking with no horse, or lying unconscious in a cart. This made me instantly seize up with worry. Where was Levi?

“Miss. Eva… Where did they all go?” His tiny voice was filled with so much sadness. I hadn’t been there to see them off like the rest, but I knew from the somber faces that it was bad. My eyes darted back and forth from the people in the carts to those on horseback. Shouldn’t Levi be near Erwin if they were both officers? That means he had to be walking somewhere. 

I handed Elias back to Jonas and pushed my way to the front. It was rather easy now that people were starting to turn around and go back home after the big disappointment of the Scouts. I didn’t care about the numbers now, I just wanted to see one soldier for who I had just bought more peppermint tea. 

When I reached the front, the sight was even more heartbreaking. I could see their eyes. I could see the sadness and fear. It was something I had only seen in the humans of the underground. Then remember why I had stopped coming to bid the Scouts a ‘Welcome home!’ It was too much for current and past me to see humans deal with. 

A hand went on my shoulder and I turned to see Jonas. His face was harsh and solemn. I knew what his judgment of the Scouts was. They all walked by and slowly a sense of dread filled me. There was no way… Humanity’s Strongest couldn’t have… 

“Where is he?” The line wasn’t long and there were little to no people left. The chance of him showing up in the next few seconds was slim, but I put my hands together squeezing. Hoping.

“Levi.” 

It was a mere, breathy whisper, but his head snapped over from on top of his horse. Once he met my eyes, he looked forward like he had before. Not sparing me another glance. He was at the very back of the line, probably to protect the weak from lingering titans. It was a sick joke of a formation, but my stress level instantly went down. He didn’t look hurt, there were no bandages on him, but his expression was darker than I had ever seen it. It was probably selfish for me to only care about him right now, but as they walked by and out of the gates of Trost, I just wanted him to turn around and come in for a cup of tea. I wanted to hear him explain to me what happened. I wanted him to not hear the townspeople who were hurling insults left and right, not caring if the Scouts heard them. 

Usually, we just get nasty looks.

No, Levi, my look wasn’t nasty. It was concerned, anxious, filled with stress; I wanted to give you some tea. 

“Come on. I’m sure people will want a pick me up after seeing that.” I looked at the ground, at the leftover wagon wheel tracks. I hope he didn’t think I was looking at him that way. 

“Miss. Flynn, I hope you have some coffee ready. Those of us who don’t drink will need it.” I looked over to see June and Elias’s father, a grim expression on his face too. Everyone’s emotions were putting me down too.

“Yes, sir. Right away.” 

He didn’t come in the rest of the day and the few days after that. I inquired with some people and learned that Scouts get a week off before they have to go back and the officers only a few days. Seeing some Scouts meet their parents again or come into the café made me doubtful of Levi’s return. Everyone was so dark and grim, and without Levi to come and break that, I started to sink into that emotion as well. So much so that a few people had commented on it. 

“A breakup with a boyfriend?” 

“Did you have a friend in the Scouts that died?” 

“You seem unlike yourself today, Eva.” 

It was those people who made my attitude worse. If only he would come in and let me talk to him, maybe I would feel better. The fact that he could be willingly not coming in was probably what made my thoughts worse. I even kept a kettle of hot water ready for when he came, but he never showed. 

“I know how much you revere the Scouts, Eva, but you can’t let that do this to you. A false sense of calm. Of hope. That’s all that it was.” I shook my head at Jonas as he wrapped my fingers with the balm treated bandages. I guess the atmosphere was making me physically deteriorate too. I was grinding coffee when the first part of my skin split. My right ring finger. I didn’t think anything of it, but as I worked and worked to suppress feelings, my hands started to suffer more and more. 

“It wasn’t false, Jonas. I still have hope in the Scouts. It was one expedition. It’s just the way everyone is acting is just putting me down too.” 

“We were all stupid to think that the titans had backed down, even for a little bit. I know it hurts, but it might be better to put your faith in other things… other people.” I pulled my hand away from him and stood up. What did he mean by that?

“My thinking is fine, Jonas. Don’t you have something to deliver.” That was his cue to stop talking and leave. It was nicer than I wanted to say to him, but I couldn’t be that rude to someone who comes back everyday. However, there were sometimes that I could yell at him or be short, but I didn’t care. Everyone deserved some hate for what they gave to the Scouts. That was my philosophy. 

I went about cleaning, making sure that every table was spotless, and taking extra care of his table. He was already stressed about death, if he came in, I didn’t want him to be stressed by dirt either. 

If he came in. 

The hours ticked by and I found myself still sitting in the dark café after closing. Today was the last day of the regular cadet’s break. Maybe they were nice to officers and gave them the same. That’s what I was telling myself. 

Finally, when the sun went down, I told myself it was time to go. I reluctantly grabbed the leftovers to put in a bag and put my coat on. Even if it was a short walk up some steps to get to my home, it was getting colder as the end of fall was approaching. The city’s atmosphere somehow made the cold more depressing. 

Turning to lock the front door, I heard some footsteps walking up to the café. 

“Sorry, I know it’s looked like we were open, but we’re closed for the day. You can come back tomorrow at six in the morn-”

“I didn’t come because I don’t want you to be burdened by me.” My eyes widened and I dropped the keys on the ground. Quickly, I composed myself and the beating of my heart.

“Burdened?” I picked the keys up and saw his figure standing on the side of the alleyway. He was in regular clothes, but it still didn’t hide his stature of a captain. Anyone walking by would know it was him.

“You said the Scouts gave you hope. Then, we come back and I see your expression. I couldn’t even look at you because I ruined that. I didn’t want to come here, just for you to look at me and feel hopeless and lost and all these negative emotions and-” 

“You talk a lot for someone who’s wrong.” That stopped his rant and admittedly that is the most he’s ever talked to me, but I needed it to end. He was digging himself into a bigger hole. 

“What?” It wasn’t harsh this time as all of his one-word phrases were. 

“Whatever look I had on my face, when you were all marching through Trost, it wasn’t me losing hope. It was me, worried about their wellbeing. It was me, hearing what people were around them saying, hoping that you didn’t hear them. I think the look on my face was from a place of concern or even pity.” He moved to lean against the brick, arms folded. 

“I didn’t want to come here because then I’d involve you in all… in all of the emotions and all the death. A civilian shouldn’t have to deal with a soldier. They should be kept ignorant so they can live happily.” 

“So what was it then? You didn’t want to ruin my hope or you didn’t want to ruin my innocence?” He took a deep breath in and I noticed some people looking our way. This was a great way to have rumors spread like wildfire. If I go back to the café, there were windows that couldn’t be closed. I’m sure Captain here wouldn’t want civilians to witness his “soldier emotions”.

“I don’t…” He glanced to the side as well, seeing the people who stopped walking.

“Follow me or at least try to get yourself onto the second-floor apartment if you’re worried about them.” I turned away from him and went up the stairs on the side of the building, opening my front door. To my surprise, he did just follow behind me. Another order I’ve gotten him to follow.

“Do you want tea, Captain? I only have green tea up here.” He just stood by the closed door and stared at me. It’s like he was scared about coming into my house. Was this the first time he’s ever come home with a woman? There’s some humor in this situation I guess. 

“No… I’m fine.” I put the bag of bread on the kitchen counter and pulled out the tea leaves. I’d make him one anyway. 

It was quiet again, but quiet like the first time we met. It was full of awkwardness and questions we wanted to ask. The air was too thick to swallow. To think, this is only the third time I’ve met him and he’s in my house. Maybe it’s just entertaining for him to see how civilians live. That’s why he followed.

“So, I’ll ask again. You didn’t come because you didn’t want to-” 

“I didn’t come because I was scared to face you.” I stopped stirring the honey into my tea. I even let go of the spoon to look up at him, still standing by the door. So he was scared of me. Captain Levi was scared of me? No, that couldn’t be. He just didn’t know how to define what he was feeling. 

“Scared?” He nodded and leaned against the door frame, pinching the bridge of his nose. It was like he was mad at himself for saying all of this. Maybe he was. Revealing those solider emotions again.

“When I came in on my horse, I saw your face and I saw the face of the boy next to you. I didn’t care about him, but yours… I thought that my failure on this expedition had broken the hope you had for the Scouts. If I came to your café, you would just treat me like everyone else does? Just like everyone treats the Scouts. I had found someone who understands the underground and who seems to understand the Scouts, and then that look on your face… it was like it was over.”  

“My look was concern. I told you that.”

“But in a town full of people looking up at you with anger and hatred in their eyes, how do you tell the difference?” I’d give him that. I was surrounded by people swearing and glaring up at him. I was just a bit hurt that he misread my emotions after I told him what I thought. He wasn’t scared, but he was bad at precepting people’s feelings. That could add to the rumor of him being emotionless. He wasn’t emotionless, he just didn’t have to ability to deal with the mass amount of emotions he gets.

You’ve only talked to him one and a half times, Eva. How are you talking like you know him?

“What made you come here then? You came when you knew I had closed. Was it to avoid everyone?”

“I was here earlier, I just didn’t have the courage to face you and everyone in that café. Especially that one boy you always have next to you.” That made me laugh out loud. Humanity’s Strongest was annoyed at Jonas and scared of me. What kind of power do I have over him? The tea he likes? Why was he so worried about Jonas? 

“That boy’s name is Jonas and he’s a delivery boy for Reeve’s Company. He’s around me a lot because he’s the delivery boy for that area of Trost and he likes to talk a lot. He also lives around here too.” 

“Your hand?” He reached out a slim finger to point at my bandages and I held my hand up. He had probably seen Jonas bandage it again today. 

“My skin splits from being so dry. I get it from work. I haven’t found a good balm to heal it though.” He closed his eyes.

“I come back from an expedition and you’re the one who’s hurt.” That hit something in my core. I looked up at him from the tea and his eyes were staring again. No look to the side and not from the peripheral. It was like when I was cleaning the tables. This feeling… with a Captain of the Scouts. That was dangerous for my sanity. I wondered if he felt the same.

I walked over and sat down on the couch that was facing him and set the tea down, one cup across from the other. 

“Again, to make sure you understand in that over-calculating brain of yours, Captain. My hope isn’t broken. There will be bad expeditions and there will be good ones, but to me, having bad ones will always be better than not having any. My look was concern for you. You were at the very back, but I thought you would be near Commander Erwin. I couldn’t find you anywhere, so I was the one who was scared. When I saw you, the way that you looked, I was concerned for how you felt, physically and mentally.” That made him lower his gaze to the ground again. I wished I swept last night. 

“Who are you to feel concern for me?” If I didn’t know where he came from, I would have been offended by his question. Truthfully, I was a little hurt that he said it that way, but I knew what he meant. In the underground, those who cared about you were those who used you or were in the same boat as you. I wasn’t a Scout and he knew I couldn’t possibly use him in this situation. He was confused why I had given him any thought, as his normal life would have nothing to do with me. Why didn’t I shy away from him and revere him as an scary, emotionless Scout?

“I’m someone who cares. Someone who’s still confused about you, personally. Why did he come into my café? Why does he keep coming? Someone who knows only a fraction of what it’s like to live in this world and someone who knows nothing about what you have to go through everyday. I’m not a Scout, I’m not a soldier, hell, I don’t think I could punch anyone hard enough to hurt them, but I do know what it feels to lose people and what it feels like to be judged by them too. So, I guess I’m someone who’s game for understanding you, too. You’re concerned about me too. My hands.” He didn’t answer, he just kept looking at his shoes on the floor. What’s so interesting about them? 

“I am concerned, yes. I don’t know why I feel so concerned about the opinions and condition of someone I’ve only talked to on two separate occasions. I’m not a civilian, nor do I live a normal life, but I guess I’m someone who is also game for creating normal. Starting with your tea. I went to your café on a recommendation from a friend and I came back because you gave me some thread of normalcy to hold onto. Sitting here and in that café, I don’t feel like Captain Levi. I just feel like Levi, whoever that is. No titans, no paperwork; just tea.” I smiled up at him and maybe my cheeks were a little warm too. It was just the tea being too hot, that’s what it was. 

“Well, Mr. Levi. Come drink some tea and sink into normalcy. We can talk about anything you want.” He stood up from the wall, contemplating if he was to join me on the couch. If he did, he knew he’d just signed himself up for a lifetime deal. He’d have to come to the café every month at least and he couldn’t die. That would ruin his normal and my understanding. I wasn’t all that surprised when he sat down, but still my heart felt like it was going to burst. Maybe for the first time in his life, he picked to sit instead of to stand. 

“Tea. I don’t know much about it, but I drink it from habit. What teas are good for what? You recommended me mint tea that first time.” I moved my legs up so I could sit crisscross and comfortable. 

“You’ve just asked a very, very loaded question, Levi.” 

We talked late into the night about tea and owning a café. Many cups of tea had kept us up and I had completely gotten lost in conversation that I forgot he would’ve had to leave. He didn’t leave that night, but I don’t remember who slept first or when. He just sat there, leaning with one arm of the back of his chair and one leg crossed, listening and commenting on the various teas I recommended and on what I should do to change the cafe’s layout for a better person-per-square-meter ratio. 

At one point, we had just stopped talking, each taking sips of our respective cups. There weren’t thoughts of titans, of the Scouts, or of failed exhibitions. I also got a lesson in math, so it let me understand that even without a proper education, Levi was a genius at certain things. We sat there soaking in the present. That’s probably why he forgot he had to go back to HQ or why I forgot to prep the starter dough for the morning. We didn’t care much for the future consequences. 

When I woke up, he was gone. The blanket I had given him, saying I’d go sleep in my own bed, was over me and the tea cups were clean and hung up on their rack. It was satisfying to wake up like this. Everything was light and peaceful again as opposed to waking up with Trost’s grim atmosphere. It was seven in the morning, and I was late to open the café, but I didn’t care or feel any rush. As I walked out of the door to a, probably, annoyed crowd, I felt a note in the breast pocket of my coat.

Left at 5AM to get back to HQ. See you after the next expedition.

                                                                                   -L 

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